


Kintsugi

by AppleCiderr



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Bad to Good Izaya, Blood, Crossdressing, Deaf!Izaya, Depression, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Good Guy Izaya, Hospitals, Illnesses, M/M, Missing Persons, Missing in Action, Near Death Experiences, Nice Izaya (Later), Parties, Possible Shizaya, Realizations, Running Away, Sick!Izaya, Sickness, Suicidal Thoughts, Timeskips, breakdowns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 51,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8019976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AppleCiderr/pseuds/AppleCiderr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya's life is suddenly constricted and torn apart after he nearly succumbs to a deadly illness, losing himself in the process. With the loss of something vital, he gains a realization. He is just as human as everyone else. Unable to remain an informant broker, he flees Ikebukuro, hoping to start a new life for himself far away, and become a better person. He fills in the cracks his past left with something much better than what he used to have. But what happens when someone tries to destroy what is still not fixed?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Going Down

**Author's Note:**

> This is a new idea that I came up with on Saturday, and it wouldn't leave me alone. I wanted to write this, plus I haven't seem one like this, so I guess we'll just have to see what happens, huh? 
> 
> If you are new to my stories, welcome! If you are someone who has followed me and know what is going on, I want you all to know that my house wasn't hit by the fire and I am at home and safe once again! So don't worry! My other stories will be updated as soon as possible! But this is a different story, a new one! I hope you all will enjoy!

Izaya could feel the throbbing at his temples, only made more prominent by the screaming man in front of him. For once, the screaming wasn't caused by him.. Kind of.. A man from the Awakusu-kai attempted to steal money from Shiki, and escape with it. Shiki had Izaya offer to lead the poor man to safety, only to lead him right back into Shiki's claws. Now, he was paying for the money he stole, in an amusing beat down.

 

Well, not that Izaya was having much fun. Normally, he would be ecstatic, enjoying watching his lovely humans react to karma smacking them right in the face. But, he found he had a very painful headache just behind his eyes, and thumping against his temples. Every time the man cried out, he found it echoing through his head, and stabbing at it painfully. The headache had become a nuisance in the past few days, popping up right before bed or after a chase with Shizuo. But today? It had been there since he had woken up.

 

Looking towards his boss, he leaned forward slightly, before shoving his hands in his pockets. “Ne.. Shiki-sama, I think I'm gonna go home, my work here is done!” He called out. Shiki's eyes never moved from the show in front of him. “Yes, of course, go ahead and leave,” He said, waving a hand towards the entrance. “Your money will be sent to your account in a few days”

 

“Of course, have a wonderful, gore-filled evening!” Izaya said, waving goodbye and skipping out the door. He did not want to stay there much longer. Honestly, Shiki could be dark sometimes. He was a man of honor, break his code of honor and he will not hesitate to destroy you. The young informant would place his career on a bet that he would not be seeing that man ever again. He would either be killed or shipped off to a Russian labor camp. Most likely the second.

 

Izaya still had one important thing to do before he went home, he had to have a nice run with his protozoan. The last time he let Shizu-chan chase him was a few days ago, and afterward Izaya found himself panting pretty hard. It was a little strange, since he was in no way, shape, or form out of shape. He pinned it on the fact that he probably ate too much at Russian Sushi the other day. But there was a special on fatty tuna, how could he turn that down?

 

Plus, after that successful mission from Shiki-sama, for which he was sure to get paid good for, he felt like he should celebrate. What better way then to have his favorite monster, Shizu-chan, set off vending machine fireworks in the sky?

 

He skipped out of the elevator, going outside of it. Suddenly, he stumbled a bit, nearly falling over. “Whoa!” He exclaimed,”I guess the excitement is just getting to me! Don't worry, Shizu-chan will be quick, he always likes to be the first to greet me when I come into Ikebukuro!”

 

Izaya walked out of the Awakusu-kai art gallery, quickly crossing towards Ikebukuro West Gate Park. Those were the busiest streets. He watched the humans around him carefully. Several people noticed him and moved away. They were smart humans, they knew that when Orihara Izaya was somewhere, Heiwajima Shizuo couldn't be far behind. Boy how right they were to move.

 

As if to confirm his statement, several people suddenly screamed as a street sign flew past Izaya, slamming into the building on Izaya's right, and sending debris into the air. Izaya's telltale smirk flew on his face as he clapped his hands, and said,”Alright, just on schedule!!”

 

“ _IIII-ZAAAA-YAAA!!”_

 

Izaya winced at first, finding his headache grow worse, but he quickly shook it off. Turning to face Shizu-chan, eyes growing a false sincere look as he watched protozoan drag a lamp post with him, teeth clenched in obvious anger. “Shizu-chan!” Izaya cheered,”Oh, how I have missed you so! Did you miss me too?”

 

“Fuck you, flea!! I told you never to come back to Ikebukuro!!” Shizuo yelled angrily,” _AND DON'T CALL ME THAT!_ ”

 

“But Shizu-chaaaan~!” Izaya called,”Isn't it natural for friends to call their friends pet names? I thought that's what friends to!” He gave Shizuo a pouty face and puppy dog eyes as he spoke.

 

Shizuo growled again, brown eyes filled with fury. “ _WE'RE NOT FRIENDS!!_ ” The blonde yelled. Izaya mock-contemplated, rubbing his non-existant chin hair before he replied.

 

“You're right,” Izaya said in awe. Then, he raised a hand and waved. “Okay then, goodbye!” Then, Izaya took off down the street. For several moments, a dumbfounded Shizuo stood there, before realizing what had just occurred.

 

Shizuo let out a guttural roar, before he threw the lamp post towards where his mortal enemy had run towards. “ _GET BACK HERE YOU FUCKING FLEA!!_ ” He howled, and then took off after the informant broker.

 

They danced through the streets of Ikebukuro as they normally would, but Izaya found himself tiring much quicker than he usually would have. He tried to get away from Shizuo, but he was managing to catch up to Izaya a lot faster. That was strange? Izaya was sure that he was running as fast as he possibly could.. Had Shizuo gotten faster, or was he just-

 

As he quickly turned the corner and into an empty alleyway, the whole world suddenly spun around, going blurry and moving too fast for his eyes to register. Izaya stumbled, before his legs caught against themselves and he spun slightly, crashing onto his back.

 

Just as the world returned to it's normal state, another stop sign flew towards the young man with amazing speed, crashing right underneath arm. Izaya tried to sit up, only to be yanked back down to the ground. He turned to look at what was forcing him, and saw that the sign post had embedded itself, and part of Izaya's jacket, into the ground. In other words, he was stuck.

 

Looking back up at Shizuo, he found the man right in front of him, ready to kill him. Izaya's crimson eyes refused to show his fear, but they did quickly jerk around, looking for something, anything to help him escape. If he tried to run, Shizuo could simply grab him before he even managed to get out of his jacket. He needed a distraction.

 

That's when he heard something in the distance. Jerking his eyes to the left, he saw Erika and Walker, jumping up and down while both of them held some type of manga in their arms. Izaya felt his smirk return to his face. He knew exactly what to do.

 

Turning back to Shizuo, he quickly yelled,”S-s-shizu-chan! I d-don't know what to say!!” He then tilted his head and put the hand that wasn't stuck against his heart. “This is kind of a bold way to propose to me, isn't it..? I thought we were going to keep this a secret, but then you say these things out of the blue.. Why must you be so romantic?”

 

He didn't even have to say anything else. As Shizuo grew a confused and then disgusted look over his face, he could hear the loud fangirl scream, that echoed through the alleyways, making his headache return at full force.

 

Erika ran fast, and was suddenly pouncing on Shizuo, causing him to fumble and drop the vending maching he was about to crush the louse with. “SHIZU-CHAN!” She screamed,”I knew it! I knew it all along! I had faith! I knew you guys were in love!!”

 

“Dammit!!” Shizuo yelled,”Get off me!” He struggled, before grabbing her shoulder and pushing her off. He turned back around, only to find Izaya was gone. All that was left was the fur jacket, still pinned underneath the stop sign.

 

“AGH!!” Shizuo yelled, grabbing the sign post and throwing it as hard as he could. “Erika! You made me lose him!!”

 

Erika gasped, and then placed her hands over her mouth. “Oh no! Izaya ran off because he was suddenly confronted with your feelings! And he already has a fiance who his parents want him to marry but he loves you, and he didn't know what to say and I gave him the chance to run away! Oh, this is just like Sekaiichi Hatsuoki! I'm so sorry Shizu-chan! Go! Go to him!! Go to your lover!!” She declared.

 

Shizuo walked forward, grabbing the jacket that surprisingly hadn't torn after everything. His nose twitched, and he growled angrily. It smelt like the flea, and he hated it. But, he needed to keep it. Clutching at the fur on the jacket, he growled and said,”I swear.. Next time I see the flea, I'm gonna choke him to death with this coat!!”

 

What he didn't know was that he wouldn't be seeing Izaya again for a long time.

 

– – – – –

 

 _Success!_ Izaya thought cheerfully, releasing an excited giggle before twirling around. Of course, he wasn't scared or anything, he knew it was going to work, why wouldn't it? It was _his_ plan after all. Now, it was time to head home. He felt a little woozy, and his breathing was a little irregular, he needed to make sure he would be prepared in case another job came in tomorrow.

 

Turning the corner, he found himself suddenly face to face with Celty. He froze for a second, before smiling. “Ah! My favorite delivery dullahan~ How are things?” He asked curiously, tilting his head like a puppy.

 

Celty didn't say anything for a second, she didn't even move. Finally, she whipped out her PA with a simple wrist flick, and typed on it. Then, she showed it to him. **[You know, you could leave him alone]** It read.

 

“Ah yes, I could, but where's the fun in that?” Izaya asked her. Celty's shoulders slumped, as if she was sighing. He waited for a few seconds, watching type again before she showed it to him again.

 

**[Are you alright?]**

 

Slightly surprised by her sudden concern, he merely tilted his head and raised an eyebrow. It didn't take long for Celty to continue talking. **[I saw what happened, you've never fallen down like that during a chase with Shizuo before, and you looked very dizzy. Are you sick? Should I take you to Shinra?]**

 

Izaya didn't even hesitate to smirk. “Ah! Celty, Gods don't get sick, you should know this by now!!” He declared in a very proud tone.

 

Celty didn't say anything for a long moment. Then, she showed him another message. [You know, you are just as human as everyone else. You can get sick just like everyone else, you might want to be more careful] She warned him.

 

Instantly, Izaya laughed, and then began walking towards the district limits. “Ah! Celty, that's funny! Saying I'm just as human as everyone else is like saying that you'll find your head one day, you want to know what both those statements have in common?” He asked her.

 

When she didn't attempt to reply, he turned to face her, one red eye staring back at her with evil amusement glinting brightly.

 

“Neither of those statements are true”

 

Celty's fingers wrapped around the handlebars angrily, her shoulders tensed, and he could see the black smoke seeping from out of her fingers. But she did nothing to him. Instead, she turned and sped off down the road, her horse releasing a loud neigh as they vanished.

 

Oh, he had hit a nerve. No matter, he had more important things to do than worry about people's feelings. One of those things was to get home and check for clients, he had a job to do after all! For a while, he forgot all about what Celty had asked him.

 

– – – – –

 

Izaya, once again, found himself in a crowd of people. However, this time he was in Shinjuku, attempting to squeeze through the humans and get back to his penthouse. It was extremely crowded, as all the businessmen and women were leaving work, and night workers were heading towards their jobs.

 

He smiled as he observed their faces, at the end of the day, you could really see how they all acted when under stress or tired. It was amazing the change in attitude.

 

He turned up towards the sky, wondering how to lights in the city shined down tonight, then looking back down at his humans to see if any of them were doing the same contemplating. That's when it happened again. The world started to blur out, Izaya's legs stumbled a few times. The people around him were starting to blur as well.

 

Izaya felt his ears start to ring, and an uncomfortable feeling grow in his chest. He felt.. Like he was suffocating and choking at the same time. Bringing his hand to his mouth, Izaya began to vehemently cough, trying to find a way to breath. It felt like he was going to faint..

 

“Sir..?” Someone asked nearby, but their voice echoed as they talked. “Sir, are you alright?” They demanded again. Izaya suddenly realized that he was falling. He brought his blood covered hands out to stop him from falling, and began to cough again. He saw large splats of blood landing on the sidewalk underneath him.

 

“Oh my god!!” Someone yelled,”He's coughing up blood! Someone call an ambulance!!” There were suddenly several people trying to help him up, taking his wrist and making him stand. “Sir, we're going to get you help, you need to stay awake!”

 

There were at least 3 of the same people talking, the ringing and echoing in his ears had grown too much for him. Izaya felt himself take several gasping breath, his eyes rolling to the back of his head. Collapsing out of the other person's arms, Izaya's head slammed against the concrete, and the sound of ringing overcame his ears. Black spots danced across his vision as he felt liquid escaping his ears, and the world began to fade around him.

 

The last thing he saw was the flashing of blue and red sirens.

 


	2. What Goes Up Must Come Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya learns news of his illness, meets some people who make him feel better, then loses something important..
> 
> Meanwhile, some people have noticed Izaya's absence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there are Ocs in this, and Izaya will be acting different in this fanfic. Sorry if you don’t like that :3   
> But do not worry! This story isn’t IzayaxOC, the Ocs are just there to help Izaya change and recover. I hope ya’ll understand.
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long to update, and I'm sorry if you guys don't like how Izaya is portrayed, but this is how I write.
> 
> I feel like I may be being too hard on myself ;-;

The first thing Izaya heard when he slowly floated back up to consciousness was a steady beeping near his right ear. It continued on, and Izaya couldn't seem to drift back down into the comforting plane of sleep. He wondered if he left his alarm clock on again. He pried open his eyelids, which felt like they had been glued together. However, his gaze was met with a glaring amount of white. White, white everywhere..

 

He made a grunting noise, which was muffled by whatever was over his mouth. Izaya tried to lift his hand to touch it, only to find he was barley able to curl his fingers. _What..?_ His sluggish mind questioned. He moved his eyes away from the white above him, turning to look to his right. Next to him.. Was a heart monitor machine and an IV bag. He was in the hospital?

 

Izaya turned his eyes to the left, and found a tube and about two more IV bags. All of which were leading to him. Izaya's sluggish brain couldn't seem to come up with an answer for what happened to himself, and he once again tried to move his hands. His fingers twitched and curled, but that was all he could do.

 

He couldn't seem to find it in him to move, but his breath started to quicken as his mind grew confused and panicked. His chest barley went up and down, but it was going up and down too fast. His heart was pounding inside his ears. Suddenly, his breath caught in his chest and he began to violently cough again. He couldn't seem to take a breath, whenever he tried he would simply cough once more. Red began to stain the inside of his oxygen mask, and his vision grew fuzzy again and he began to fade away again.

 

However, before the world could darken once more, the door quickly slid open. A young man in a doctor's coat walked in, quickly pulling Izaya up and removing the oxygen mask that was on his face. “Sir, I know you feel like fainting right now, but please stay awake,” He said, and there was a metal container in Izaya's lap. “Cough into the bucket, don't let it stay in your body, if you keep pulling it back, you may end up choking,” He said.

 

Izaya made many guttural retching noises, mixed with coughs. His chest hitched once more, and Izaya quickly hunched forward, coughing into the bucket. Out came whatever food was left in his stomach, the yellow-green vomit mixed with red blood. The inside of Izaya's throat felt like someone had rubbed it with acid-covered sandpaper, his breathing incredibly labored now that the oxygen mask was off his face. _It hurts.._ He thought weakly. _Why is it so hard to breathe..?_

 

The doctor rubbed the informant broker's back comfortingly, making him feel like a small child needing their parent's assistance, weak and helpless. He took many more gasping breaths, some hitching and causing him to lean forward to cough again. After a while, his breathing calmed down enough to the point he could focus. His red eyes turned toward the doctor, seeing his navy blue eyes filled with concern. Izaya desperately wanted to release a snarky comment to see what the doctor's reaction would be, but he couldn't seem to gather enough energy to even move.

 

“Are you feeling a little better now sir?” The doctor asked, now using a wipe to clean the blood off Izaya's face. It made the 23 year old's body and mind fill with shame. He felt so weak and helpless, Gods were not supposed to feel like this. It was impossible for Gods to feel weak, yet here he was, not even able to gather enough energy to shrug at the doctor.

 

No, he wasn't feeling better at all. Even if he didn't have the urge to regurgitate all the contents of his stomach and some blood with it, the rest of his body still felt like hell. His head was throbbing so hard, and his limbs felt extremely weak. Why was this happening to him?

 

Izaya simply stared at the doctor, sending him a look. The young man chuckled awkwardly and said,”Ah.. I guess you probably wouldn't be feeling good after throwing up like that.. I would give you some water, but I'm not sure if your stomach could even handle that right now”

 

 _Whatever.._ Izaya thought, growing slightly frustrated. Even his mind felt weak.. His thoughts came to him like a cement mixture down a slope, when they used to rush to him like a waterfall. It was frustrating, and tiring.

 

Izaya's eyes began to droop, the feeling of drowsiness returning at full force very suddenly. He slumped even farther in the doctor's hold, as the man lied him back down, an apprehensive look on his face. “Well, I shouldn't have expected you to remain awake for long, especially after all that purging.. We'll discuss the test results we took when you wake up again,” He said simply.

 

Izaya watched him go, wondering what the look on his face meant. He seemed like he wanted to tell the informant broker something, but decided not to suddenly. Was it because he wanted to let Izaya sleep? His sluggish mind couldn't seem to figure out a better reason, but he certainly wanted to know what worried the doctor so much.

 

Surely it wasn't anything too bad, right?

 

Izaya probably just got dehydrated or something.

 

He wasn't going to.. To _die_ or anything..

 

Right?

 

….

 

_Right?_

 

– – – – – –

 

The next time Izaya woke up, it was better than before, but only by a little. The oxygen mask was back on his face, and the steady beeping from the heart monitor was much calmer this time. Now that he knew where he was, Izaya felt a little calmer.

 

However, there was something still weighing on his sluggish mind. The doctor’s face last night left Izaya feeling worried, he seemed to have wanted to tell Izaya something important. Maybe relating to what ailed the 23 year old? Surely it wasn’t anything too bad, Izaya had never gotten sick before. He wasn’t worried or anything.. He just wished that he knew what was wrong. He didn’t have time to remain in this hospital bed, he had things to do. Shiki was probably already angry at him.

 

As if answering his call, the door slid open once more, the doctor returning. He was staring down at a clipboard with a dark look on his face. As he walked closer to Izaya’s bed, the informant broker was able to catch the name on his name tag. Dr. Nowaki Kusama. Strange name.. Then again Izaya couldn’t really talk.

 

Dr. Kusama suddenly let out a squeak of surprise, realizing his patient was awake. “Oh..Um.. Hello Orihara-san. Sorry, didn’t expect you to be awake,” He said calmly.

 

Instead of trying to talk around the oxygen mask, Izaya let his eyes flick from the clipboard to the doctor with a questioning look, watching the doctor follow his eyes and look down at his clipboard. That dark look returned for a moment before he grew a false smile and a warm look in his eyes. “A-ah! Orihara-san, would you like something for your mouth before we discuss the results of the tests we took?” He asked.

 

 _Why do I feel like you’re trying to steer this conversation away from what I want to know_ Izaya thought, but nodded all the same. His throat still felt pretty bad, so he wouldn’t mind something to quench the feeling. However, he did knit his eyes together in worry. Despite the wanting feeling of water, didn’t the doctor say when he was last awake that he didn’t even know if his stomach could handle water?  


Noticing his discomfort, the doctor quickly said,”Don’t worry, we’ll simply be giving you some ice chips, they’ll help your mouth, and you won’t throw up,” He said happily.

 

He left again, then came back with the ice chips. Izaya knew what they were, after all, Shinra often used them for patients on drugs so they couldn’t barf. But, he was very frustrated to find when he tried to reach up for them, his arms once again wouldn’t move. He groaned in anger, and clenched his fists again, before looking at the doctor with an exasperated cast.

 

Once again, Kusama’s face filled with something strange. It seemed to be a mix of worry and despair, but he quickly smiled once more and said,”I’ll feed them to you, don’t worry”

 

He seemed to be saying that a lot. Don’t worry.. Don’t worry.. It could be tied in to what he was saying in the sentences they were included in, but Izaya felt like there was some kind of deeper meaning to his words. But still, Izaya swallowed his pride and allowed his doctor to feed him the ice chips. They melted slowly in his mouth, the coldness sliding all around his parched mouth like the first rainfall in a desert after years.

 

Now that his throat didn’t hurt, he shakily said,”T-thank you..”The doctor smiled and nodded in return, placing the empty cup down on a counter nearby, the clipboard taking it’s place in his hand.

 

Izaya looked down at the clipboard again, and saw the doctor looked like he was about to leave once more. “What were the test results?” Izaya weakly called out, causing the doctor to freeze.

 

“I um..” Kusama stuttered,”I’m not sure you should hear them yet, Orihara-san..”

 

The informant broker’s eyes narrowed in suspicious, his stomach churning. Obviously, what was ailing him wasn’t simple. But that just made Izaya want to know what exactly was happening to him even more.

 

“You said last time that you would tell me my test results when I woke up,” He said firmly, red eyes staring at the doctor accusingly,”And I’m awake”

 

Kusama looked down at the clipboard quickly. “I-I know that..” He stuttered out,”But.. We want to make sure you’re physically and mentally stable before you hear it”  


“I feel fine,” Izaya said, pretty much lying. He felt like shit, but that wasn’t the point. He was an informant broker, he knew everything. To find one of the few things he didn’t know was about himself, it was frustrating.. and scary. It was also something he needed to know. What was happening to him, how it could be fixed, that he would be fine.

 

Finally, Izaya couldn’t take the young doctor’s tense silence anymore. He narrowed his eyes and frowned towards him, showing his determined face.

 

The doctor looked even more conflicted, as he looked down at the clipboard again. “I.. I want to tell you, Orihara-san, I truly do. But I don’t know if you can handle it,” He told the raven, and looked down once more. “Cases like this usually never react well.. I can’t even imagine how you’ll-”

 

“Cases like this?” Izaya questioned.

 

The doctor’s eyes became clouded again, before he sighed. “Izaya..” He began, now using the young man’s full name. “We.. We don’t know what’s wrong with you..”

 

Izaya’s eyes filled with confusion. “W-what do you mean? How can you not know what’s wrong with me?!” He asked, tone raising a little in panic.

 

“It’s that simple, we don’t,” The doctor explained,”All the tests showed nothing, the blood work showed nothing. You have many symptoms that can be linked to many illnesses, yet they seem to be combined somehow.. In a way I haven’t seen before.. It may be something completely new, and if we don’t have the technology to fix it.. Or if we can’t find the problem..”

 

“Izaya, there is a huge chance that.. You’re going to die”

 

Izaya’s wide, red eyes stared at the doctor in disbelief. Death.. A concept that Izaya never feared, because there was no way that death could catch him, a god. But now that the facts were staring him straight in the face, he felt emotions he never knew existed before.

 

Fear, total and complete unbridled fear.

 

And a realization..

 

About just how human he really was.

 

Gods could not succumb to illnesses, they didn’t die. Gods were immortal. Yet.. Here he was, being told he was probably going to die. He felt so scared, so confused.. So human.

 

“W-what?” Izaya asked, his eyes suddenly blurring, and the wetness of tears sliding down his cheeks. “What do you- I’m going to die?”

 

The doctor solemnly nodded,”Unless we can find a way to slow it down, or find a cure.. You will. Your body already seems to be deteriorating, slowly but surely. It is the reason you are not able to move, your body is weakening”

 

“T-then.. C-can’t you try and do something about it?” Izaya shakily asked, the heart monitor beginning to beep faster, matching Izaya’s panic.

 

Kusama’s eyes softened. “Of course we will, Izaya. It’s a new illness, we want to cure it. We will do whatever we can to save your life, we promise. Please don’t lose hope,” He said gently, placing his hand on the railing of Izaya’s bed. Izaya looked at him and shakily nodded, still crying. He didn’t know how to handle the sudden emotions, other than to let them out.

 

The doctor nodded, turning and walking to the door. “I’m going to go get some of the paperwork for you to agree to, so you can consent to the tests, I’ll be right back,” He explained calmly, seeming to try and remain calm for Izaya as well. It wasn’t working.

 

“Okay..” Izaya whispered fearfully, his hands shaking. He watched the doctor leave, and a moment later a nurse walked in, checking his vitals, before walking out as well, leaving Izaya alone with his thoughts. His dark thoughts…

 

Everything he knew, everything he believed about himself, was ripped out from under him like a rug, forcing him to collide painfully with the reality underneath it. To some people, hearing it may not be as terrifying. Izaya had watched many people die, but he was never the one to be in their place..Until now. And now that it was his turn.. He felt so terrified.

 

He felt so human.. More human than he ever felt before. No, being a god was just an illusion he had created himself in his fear of death. Now, there was no hiding what was going to happen. He was just as human as everyone else, and he could die like everyone else. In fact, he just might.

 

If Izaya could have brought up his arms to hug himself, he would have. His mind was going into overdrive, wondering several things. Maybe there was a God out there, maybe this was their way of punishing him for all the things he had done to people. Ha.. He wanted to laugh at his joke, but the more he thought about it, the more truthful it sounded..

 

Izaya signed the consent forums, but he didn’t believe that any of the tests would help. As far as the raven’s darkened vision could see, there was no light at the end of this path.

 

– – – – – –

Three Months Later

– – – – – –

 

Namie sighed in frustration, punching in the code to get to Izaya's apartment. She wanted to let him have a piece of her mind. She needed her paycheck, from him as much as she hated to admit. But when Izaya suddenly stopped messaging her to come in, didn’t pester her with stupid tasks, and then didn’t pay her for three straight months without a word?!

 

Though the tasks were often stupid, like putting his files in alphabetical order and then numeric order so he could see which one he preferred, they were _paid_ stupid tasks, so she didn't complain. She didn't know why he stopped texting her.. Wait a minute..

 

Was this his stupid way of firing her?! Or was this his way to get her crawling back to him? Either way, she was back, and she wanted her motherfucking paycheck. She didn’t even care if this was the last one he would be giving her.

 

Opening the door, she shut it behind her quickly. It had become a habit of hers after that freak with the gas mask held her hostage with a fake gun. She didn't want anything like that to happen again.

 

“Izaya?” She called sternly, walking inside and looking around. She gained no answer in return. _Strange.._ She thought.

 

She looked around, climbed up the stairs, checked the rooms, but there was no informant broker in the house. _Strange.._ She thought once more. He only leaves the door unlocked for me.. Why was it still open? She went back down to his computer, going to check and see if he had left her a note. That’s when she saw it. No, it wasn’t anything that would alert her that her ‘boss’ was in danger, but it was strange all the same.

 

His entire desk, the keyboard, the computer, the chair, and even the mouse was covered in a sheet of dust.

 

Namie tilted her head in confusion, walking forward and examining the desk closer. There was never any dust on Izaya’s desk. It was the one place he spent most his time, it was always spotless. To see it like this was.. Unnerving.. To say the least. She was kind of tempted to check his computer, maybe get a hint of where he was last, but she wasn’t dumb enough to believe that he didn’t keep any of his computers password protected. Not with his job. Still, none of this made any sense to her, where could he have gone? And in such a hurry that he left everything behind-

 

“Ah, we’re not the only people who have noticed,” A familiar voice rang out.

 

Namie gasped and swung around, her long black hair flowing gracefully as she clutched to the back of the desk in surprise. Standing behind her, in his usual white suit and unlit cigarette in his mouth, with two bodyguards behind him. The wrinkles on his face were pronounced with his tense scowl. Wait a minute.. If he was looking for Izaya too, then that meant..

 

“You didn’t send him somewhere?” She asked, tilting her head. Shiki made a noise, whether it was a noise of confirmation or amusement she wouldn’t know.

 

Shiki then shook his head, pulling out a fancy lighter and using it on his cigarette. “No I didn’t,” He said simply,”I would not be here if I knew where he was, Yagiri-san”

 

“It is a little discomforting when the most trusted and skilled informant broker in all of Tokyo vanishes,” He continued, puffing out cigarette smoke,”At first I thought it may be my enemies, but as I haven’t gotten any gloating messages or taunts, I do not believe that to be the case”

 

Namie crossed her arms, looking back at the dusty computer before saying,”Well.. I don’t know where he is either..”

 

“I was hoping you did, since you were his assistant. But it seems we are in the same situation here, so I am back to square one,” Shiki said, running a calloused hand through his short, black hair,”The best I can do now is question the people I know he speaks to, see when they saw him last..”

 

She was about to walk out, until he turned and looked back at Namie. “If you need, I can give you a job at my gallery until we locate Izaya, and see what exactly happened,” He offered. Namie merely nodded, deciding she could work there until she got a better offer.

There was no reason for Namie to stay, so she walked out of the apartment with the Awakusu-kai executive.

 

For some reason, there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach that told her should would never be setting foot in that apartment again..

 

– – – – – –

 

It seemed hopeless..

 

Absolutely hopeless..

 

Six months had passes since Izaya learned of his unknown illness. The doctors had been doing everything they could to try and find a cure, or at least a hint to what was slowly killing the 23 year old, but they were finding nothing, and Izaya was getting worse day by day.

 

Being in the ICU left Izaya with no exposure to sunlight, plus the doctors were unsure if being outside would cause his body to get worse, causinf the informant broker to grow pale, and lose his complexion. Thanks to his illness, his body was growing weaker, sometime he couldn’t even move, he always felt exhausted. His stomach grew very unstable, and he often threw up everything he ate. The doctors now could only tube feed him, or give him nutrients through an IV. He had lost a lot of weight because of it.

 

The tests weren’t helping, and they were making Izaya feel worse. The tests and procedures left him with many side effects. His hair was beginning to grow dingy and then fall out. At first it scared him, as he had one day reached up to run his fingers through his hair when he had the strength of his arms and pulled out chunks of black strands with it.

 

The worst thing though is that with every day that passed, Izaya realized just how close to death he really was. In fact, there was one day where he did actually almost die. His heart and lungs were growing weak, and in the middle of the night his body just gave out. Luckily, they were able to revive him, but it was a very close call.

 

The whole situation sent Izaya farther and farther into himself. There was no one who would miss him, he wasn’t exactly a good person. There was really no reason for him to keep living, maybe the afterlife would be merciful..

 

Unknown to Izaya, the doctors noticed it. The darkened look in his eyes, him not trying to get up even though for the first month he had actually tried to get up or sit up, but ended up growing too exhausted. Now that he wasn’t even trying, they were worried. Izaya had total and complete control over if they continued to try and find a cure or not. If the male wanted, he could ask for active euthanasia, there was truly nothing stopping him.

 

But Nowaki didn’t want that to happen.

 

There was more than one reason. Obviously, the first being the fact that Izaya’s illness was new. Learning to cure it was important, since Izaya may not be the only one to catch it one day. However, at the moment he was the only person who had it. The news of the new illness, however, would remain under wraps until they found a cure, as to not panic the citizens.

 

The second reason was a little more Nowaki’s perspective. But he thought he could see through Izaya, and what he saw was simple. A young man whom had lost himself in his own facade, and now that it had broken, he didn’t know what to do. It seemed obvious to him that Izaya had nowhere to go, no one to depend on. He probably never knew weakness until now, and was so lost and depressed. There was also the fact that he and Izaya were the same age, Nowaki being only a year older. They were both still so young, they had so much to live for, so much more to see, Izaya shouldn’t die yet.

 

So, he called in one of his friends.

 

Well, not exactly friend, but an old patient. He was also Izaya’s age, and survived a very difficult chemotherapy. The young man had also been in a very dark place, even before the news of his illness came to them. But, he survived, and he had found something to keep him going in life. He was just the person to talk to Izaya, just as he had for other patients.

 

Now he had to hope that Ayase could help him.

 

– – – – – –

 

Izaya looked up as he heard the door open, his dull red eyes looking at the young doctor. His warm smile was always a little comforting for the raven, even if it meant he was going to a test. However, today he felt even more exhausted than before, since they just completed another test today, which bore no fruit. He had a really bad headache now.

 

“Hello Izaya-kun!” Nowaki said kindly. Their time together let them get to know each other, and they now referred to each other by their first names. “How are you feeling today?”

 

Izaya shrugged, his head throbbing worse, as he stared at the doctor. He usually would play along, but he wanted to know what the doctor wanted. Nowaki figured this out pretty quickly, and smiled awkwardly, taking off the male’s oxygen mask.

 

“Would you like to go outside today Izaya?” He asked, as if he was talking to a child. A few months ago, Izaya may have been bothered by the way he sounded, but now he didn’t really care anymore. But he was a little confused about one thing..

 

Tilting his head, Izaya asked,”I thought it wasn’t safe for me to go outside..”

 

Nowaki smiled solemnly at him, and easily replied,”Well, after six months, and you haven’t shown any signs of picking up any other illnesses, and as construction on the garden in the heart of the hospital if finished, we believe it’s safe for you!”

 

Not really caring, Izaya shrugged and said,”Alright..” Nowaki frowned a bit, but helped Izaya get up. Once the male was in the wheelchair, he led Izaya to the garden.

 

“You know, the sun might make you feel better!” Nowaki said,”I’ve read some studies that say being outside in the sun can increase serotonin levels and can make you happier!”

 

“Ah..” Izaya said, staring at his lap, instead of the people around them. Nowaki wondered if he was even listening, he probably wasn’t. Nowaki bet he was off in his own little world.

 

Oh well, they got to the garden just fine. Since they had just finished it not many people knew about it, so the only patients out there were a few children.

 

Izaya looked around the garden, examining it curiously. There were winding paths, beautiful sakura trees and grass. There were benches, and a koi pond. He saw some children by it, pointing at the koi fish and excitedly chattering to the nurses that accompanied them.

 

Looking up, Izaya saw the sun for the first time in six months, though it was slightly blocked by clouds. Surprisingly, the fresh air and the sun on his pale complexion made him feel a little more relaxed.

 

The doctor rolled him away from the entrance, waving to the children who waved back excitedly. Izaya noticed someone on the bench they were heading to. The person noticed them and stood up, waving happily. “Hello~!” They said in a loud, excited voice that hurt Izaya’s head.

 

The person was.. A girl.. A boy? Izaya couldn’t exactly tell. They had long, curly blue hair with a white beanie with a ball on the top, and purple eyes. Their eye shadow was blue, and the lipstick was red. Their clothing consisted of a purple turtleneck dress that had a black heart in the middle. Their graceful legs had on leggings with black and white horizontal stripes. Finally, they had brown high heel ankle boots. They were dressed very beautifully, but loudly.

 

“Hello Ayase-chan!” Nowaki replied in his gentle voice,”It’s wonderful to see you again!” Ayase, as Nowaki called them, giggled happily, then turned to look at Izaya.

 

“Is this who you wanted me to talk to?” They asked in a broad and loving voice, placing one gentle finger on their mouth and tilting their head.

 

Nowaki nodded and said,”Why yes, this is Orihara Izaya, and Izaya, this is my friend Koibuchi Ayase! He’s here to talk with you about things” Izaya turned and sent Nowaki a weak, but suspicious glare.

 

Laughing awkwardly, Nowaki moved Izaya so he was next to the bench and said,”I’ll be over there, if you need anything, I’ll be by the Koi pond!” He took off before Izaya could call him back, leaving the ill man alone with the crossdresser.

 

Gracefully, Ayase sat on the bench next to Izaya, crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back, releasing a happy sigh. Izaya turned to look at him curiously, red eyes looking him up and down. _Why did Nowaki bring him to talk to me?_ The raven wondered suspiciously. _Is this supposed to make me feel better?_

 

Suddenly, Ayase leaned forward and was in Izaya’s face. The sick male gasped in surprise and jerked back weakly, not able to really go anywhere when he was in a wheelchair. “Hmm..” Ayase muttered, rubbing his stubble-free chin.

 

“Black, white, dark and light blue..” He began listing. Izaya blinked in confusion and tilted his head. “W-what-?”

 

But Ayase continued,”Never with yellow, purpleor pink, and it depends on the tone with brown. Beige is not a very good option, at least in Spain. For a classy glowing look, red is usually paired with blackwhich gives the color a glowing effect..”

 

“What are you doing?” Izaya croaked incredulously.

 

“I’m just deciding what colors would match your eyes, Izaya-kun!” He said happily,”We’re gonna have to get you a whole new wardrobe! After all, you’re not gonna stay in that hospital gown forever”

 

Izaya frowned quite quickly after the sentence was finished, and looked down at the blue hospital gown he now donned, the only thing he had worn for six months. “Yes I will be..” Izaya said sadly,”There’s no hope for me..”

 

Ayase’s red lips lost their smile for a moment, before he sighed and asked,”And how do you know that?”

 

“There’s no cure for my disease,” Izaya said simply,”I’ll die eventually-”

 

Ayase scoffed loudly, stopping the raven in his self-depreciating speech. Izaya looked at him, a frown gracing his lips.

 

“How do you know it isn’t _going_ to be cured, Izaya-kun?” Ayase questioned,”This is the 21 st century, technology is really good now, I’m sure you’ll live!”

 

Izaya frowned even more and looked down at his pale, shaking hands. “Even if I do.. There’s no one who cares about me, Ayase. I don’t have anything to go back to except a dangerous life and people who want me dead..” He said simply,”I wasn’t a good person, technically I’m still not.. This is.. Punishment..”

 

“Oh it is?” Ayase said worriedly,”So.. If you say this is a punishment, and you live.. What would that be? Wouldn’t it be a second chance?”

 

Izaya looked up at him in curiosity. “I.. I never thought of it that way..” He said sheepishly, but then frowned again. “But.. But even if that were the case, I have nowhere to go after this, the doctor said my lungs and heart are never going to recover from this, I can’t go back to my old job, or maybe even Tokyo, since I have a lot of enemies..”

 

“Ah!”Ayase suddenly yelled,”Stop all this depressing stuff! I understand why you feel this way, but stop thinking this way!” He stood up, and grabbed Izaya by his shoulders. Izaya flinched slightly in surprise before looking up at the determined purple eyes.

 

Ayase continued,”Don’t think that way, Izaya! There’s so many happy things in life, so many things you haven’t seen yet! You thinking like that is stopping you from seeing the beauty of the world! If you really have nowhere to go, you can stay with me, and I’ll help you!”

 

“W-what?” Izaya questioned, tilting his head again, wondering where the warm feeling in his chest was coming from. Was he.. Happy that someone was caring for him? Quickly, he frowned and looked away from Ayase’s eyes, asking,”Why do you even care, Koibuchi? We have nothing in common”

 

Ayase didn’t say anything for a moment, but then let go of Izaya’s shoulders and reached up. He took the beanie off his head, and then yanked off his blue wig. Underneath it was nothing, Ayase was completely bald.

 

“I had cancer, a rare form of Leukemia, I had less than a 3% chance of survival, and as if to add insult to injury.. My parents had disowned me earlier that day, the whole situation was finished just before I found out. They didn’t support me through any of it,” He explained in a dull tone,”But guess what?”

 

When Izaya didn’t reply, he continued,”When I was just starting to give up hope, someone gave me a reason to live. It was a little kid. She was a girl who was sick too. She saw how upset I was, and how my hair was falling out” He brought a hand to his mouth, giggling in amusement.

 

“The kid felt so upset, she said my hair made me look like a prince.. she actually made me a wig out of construction paper and yarn,” He explained, his eyes filling with a melancholy look. “A lot of people would think it was stupid, but when you have nothing else to keep you going.. Sometimes the smallest thing can make you feel better.. That kid is the reason I got into dressing up like I do, I still have that wig today”

 

Izaya stared at him in surprise, as the crossdresser faced him again. “And that’s why I’m here! I know we don’t know anything about each other, and we just met, but when Nowaki-kun explained the situation, you reminded me of myself, so I wanted to help you!” He was getting louder as he spoke.

 

“And if you really don’t have anywhere to go, come with me! I know these doctors will work so hard, and they’ll find a cure, and when they do, you can come with me!” He said loudly,”And I’ll show you all the things you’ve been missing”

 

Izaya felt that hopeful feeling return to his chest, and for the first time in so long, Izaya smiled. Looking down sheepishly at his hands and said,”I think.. I would like that..”

 

Ayase smiled widely and then put his wig back on, covering the blue top with his beanie. “Good,” He said kindly, then reaching into his purse. Out of the fancy handbag, Ayase pulled a manga book. It was the first volume of The Kan and Shougeki no Sama.

 

“Here, I know that they barely have any good channels in the hospital, thought you might like sometime to read,” He said kindly,”I have to go, but I’ll come back every other day, okay?”

 

Ayase reached out, patting Izaya’s head like an older brother would to a younger brother, before going to the Koi pond to tell Nowaki he was leaving.

 

That night, Izaya fell asleep with the book on his chest, holding it close like it was his only sliver of hope, which is truly what it represented in his mind.

 

The consent forms for active euthanasia were in a trash can outside his hospital room.

 

– – – – – –

 

Though physically, Izaya didn’t get much better, his mental state grew much better thanks to Ayase’s visits. Having someone whom he could relate to, someone who didn’t hate him for his past choices, and cared for him deeply, was amazing. It was like the older sibling he never had.

 

Every other day, as long as Izaya was feeling it, they would talk, and Ayase would bring books. It was nice, to actually talk to someone without them being suspicious of him, and Ayase was actually very intelligent. It was also pretty fun to see what kind of outfit he would be wearing each and every day.

 

But there was one day Izaya remembered in particular, when they were walking toward the garden, when another person was introduced to their little group.

 

Today, Ayase was wearing a large pink wig, with his usual blue eye shadow and lipstick. His outfit consisted of a white turtle neck sweater, with a pink bow belt, a pair of fuzzy black and white spotted shorts, with purple leggings and dark brown boots outlined with cream white.

 

He had given Izaya a black wig to compensate for his hair loss, as by the end of the month Izaya’s hair was all gone, it was a little longer than his natural hair had been, because Ayase said he looked adorable with longer hair.

 

They had been walking through the garden. Well.. Not really walking, but Ayase was pushing Izaya and Izaya was sitting in the wheelchair. That’s when they saw her.

 

She was sitting alone on a bench, a wheelchair next to her. She had long black hair that was in a braid which reached her waist, and black eyes that were obscured by red glasses. She had a sketchbook in her lap, but was staring down at an empty page without drawing anything, her eyes empty of any emotion but frustration.

 

Ayase made a noise, before making their way over to her. The girl looked up at them curiously, and Ayase smirked. He knew how to make her laugh. He got up, and then went in front of Izaya, scooping the skinny male up simply.

 

“Ah!” Izaya squealed in surprise, squirming slightly. “A-ayase! Put me down!” He exclaimed, not bothering the surprisingly strong crossdresser one bit as he placed the raven down on the other side of the bench.

 

The girl’s lips raised in a smile, but it quickly went away as she looked away quickly when Ayase plopped in between them.

 

“Hello!” He said happily,”My name is Koibuchi Ayase, and this sick lil’ guy next to me is Orihara Izaya!” Izaya raised an eyebrow at the comparison.

 

Ayase leaned towards her and asked,”Well, what’s your name?”

 

The girl blushed and looked down, before stuttering,”T-Tsukimi..” She ran a shaky finger along the side of her sketchbook, the pencil now in her lap.

 

Ayase smiled again, pushing a few of the pink strands from his face. “And what are you doing out here all by yourself?” He asked.

 

“I was.. I was trying to draw again.. But I can’t think of anything..” She whispered, placing her pencil against the paper before pulling it away again. “Ever since the accident, I can’t find any inspiration..”

 

Ayase frowned now, going into a motherly mode again. “What happened? Maybe we can help?” He asked, pulling Izaya into the conversation again.

 

She shrugged, saying,”I’m not sure you would understand..”

 

Izaya decided to interject. “Hey, Um.. I think if anyone could understand, it would be us,” He said simply,”I mean, Ayase is a cancer survivor, and I’m dying slowly from a new and incurable disease, so I think we can take whatever you want to throw at us”

 

The girl looked surprised, before looking down again, this time clutching at the waist area of her hospital gown. “I.. I lost the use of my legs.. I’ll never walk again..” She whispered,”And I was a gymnast..”

 

Izaya could understand pretty well her situation. Like how he used to be a strong person, he now knew he couldn’t even run for a certain amount of time, lest his lungs give out and collapse. He couldn’t do parkour again, sadly. Of course, he could only imagine how it must feel for her, to lose what was her career.

 

“Oh honey..” Ayase said, hugging her and allowing Tsukimi to shake and sob.

 

“I-I can’t go back.. I can’t be a gymnast, I lost my job, my apartment, all my money has gone towards the hospital bills.. What can I do?” She seemed to be asking both her and the two males in front of her.

 

Izaya, seven months ago, would have laughed at the poor girl’s predicament, finding the reactions of the humans amazing to losing all they had worked so hard for. But now that he had seen the other side of things, he felt no amusement, only understanding and empathy. She was a human, just like him and Ayase, they all lost so much. He felt the need to help.

 

“Well, what about your drawings?” The raven suggested, holding out a weak hand. Tsukimi handed him the sketchbook and he looked through the drawings curiously. They were actually.. Amazing!

 

“You know, these are really good! You could make a career out of this!” Ayase suggested,”Like a mangaka!”

 

Tsukimi’s face lit up excitedly for a split second, before she grew worried again. “But.. I can’t find inspiration anywhere.. And I have nowhere to stay while I’m getting a new career going..”

 

“Don’t worry!!” Ayase yelled excitedly,”You can stay with me and Izaya when he gets better! And we can be your inspiration!” Izaya no longer had the heart to tell Ayase that he probably wouldn’t survive.

 

Suddenly, Izaya was scooped up again and raised high into the air. “HARK!” Ayase exclaimed,”The beautiful princess has saved the cute little Iza-kitty from the clutches of evil!”

 

“A-ayase!!” Izaya exclaimed in terror, afraid of falling. “Put me down you idiot You’re gonna drop me!”

 

Tsukimi finally let out a really happy laugh, and caused Ayase to stop his yelling in surprise, and weaken his strength in his arms. Soon, he lost all his strength and cried out as he dropped Izaya onto himself, falling to the grass.

 

As the dazed males groaned, Tsukimi laughed even more. Soon, Izaya released a few giggles as Ayase released full boisterous laughter.

 

They all felt so happy and blessed to be together, though they had all or were experiencing a struggle, their spirits were raised.

 

However, what goes up must come down, and it would happen the very next week..

 

– – – – – –

 

When Izaya woke up, everything was silent.

 

The raven couldn’t really remember what had happened for a moment, but he remembered after a little while. The day after they met Tsukimi, Izaya’s body began to weaken rapidly, and still the doctors couldn’t explain it.

 

Yesterday they had been about to do some more tests, but his body gave out, and he fainted while in extreme pain drilling through his head, the last thing he remembered was Ayase’s panicked yell.

 

Though he should be happy to be awake.. He felt like something was wrong..

 

Everything was just too quiet.

 

Izaya looked around for a moment, noticing the clip on his finger. The clip was connecting him to the heart monitor, but he shouldn’t e surprised, they usually always had him connected to one. So why couldn’t he hear it?

 

He turned and saw the heart monitor, he saw his heartbeat speeding up, as he tried to figure out what was going on.

 

Izaya pulled his shaking hand from the blankets, but did not hear the usual rustle of the thin fabric. There was nothing.

 

He was growing more scared, and suspicious. He needed something to test his theory. Noticing a metal lunch tray, Izaya weakly reached forward to it. His fingers tapped on the surface until he managed to find the tray.

 

Then, he flung it to the ground.

 

The sick male watched the tray slam against the ground by a corner, before flipping forward and sending all the food into the air before going flat on it’s front. Yet, he heard nothing. No clatter, no crash, no bang.

 

Absolutely nothing..

 

Izaya felt his breath catch in his throat, his lungs crying in protest from even that smallest quick breath. Tears fell down his cheeks, as Izaya’s fingers went into his ears.

 

There was nothing in his ears..

 

So he should be just fine

 

He should be able to hear _JUST FINE!!_

 

Hyperventilating, Izaya started to cry. He tried to deny it, but he knew what was going on. As he continued to sob, the nurses rushed in, their lips moved, they tried to calm the male down

 

The sickness was finally beginning to destroy him. He could not hear their cries, their orders to the doctor, the frantic beeping of the heart monitor, or even his own panicked breaths, and he never would again..

 

The once great Orihara Izaya had gone deaf..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me ;-;
> 
> Haha~ Hope you enjoyed!!


	3. To Fill The Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya learns to live with his cracks, and fill them in with gold, before he heads out into the world once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this may seem a little rushed, or I may just be getting paranoid, but oh well. I just wanted to continue this because I feel bad for leaving you guys hanging XD
> 
> Also, for anyone confused:  
> Signing - Talking but in Italics  
> Talking on a phone - [Boxed in and in bold]
> 
> Also, apologies to anyone who thought Namie and Shiki were going to find Izaya, that scene was simply put there to show that yes, they do know Izaya is gone. That was all it was for XD

Ayase knew something was wrong. Well, it didn’t take much to figure that out, considering Izaya collapsed and then the next day, several nurses ran into his room faster than he would have thought possible. Tsukimi watched the display next to him with fear in her black eyes, hugging her sketchbook closer to herself.

 

It wasn’t long before Nowaki walked out, looking exhausted and upset. Ayase quickly stood up. He was still in the same outfit from when they met Tsukimi, as he didn’t want to leave until he knew what happened to his friend.

 

“Well?” Ayase questioned, purple eyes filled with fear,”Do.. Do you know what happened? Is he okay?!”

 

For a moment, Nowaki didn’t say anything, his eyes thoughtful. He seemed like he was trying to figure out how to word it to Ayase without making him angry.

 

“He’s alive.. But.. It appears whatever is ailing him has begun to spread even faster than last time..” The young doctor explained,”His ears.. The nerves in them and all the components that allow him to hear.. They are all completely destroyed. He can no longer hear, and we are not sure if even cochlear implants would work with all the damage that has been done. It’s unlike anything we’ve ever seen”

 

Ayase felt like the world was phasing out around him, was the world truly not going to allow Izaya even one moment of happiness? He was dying, so slowly, and now he was losing his senses. It was too cruel, too unfair. He didn’t care what Izaya said about this being some sort of.. _Penance_.. Nobody deserved to die like this.

 

“Then.. C-can’t you fix it? He’s been in the fucking hospital for nearly a year and you guys can’t find anything?!” Ayase yelled, growing fearful.

 

Nowaki shamefully looked down. “Ayase, we’re trying our best, but now that Izaya’s body is even weaker, the tests are dangerous. His heart and lungs are extremely weak, if they collapse, we will not have enough time to save him,” He said.

 

Tsukimi suddenly looked up from her lap, saying,”B-but if it’s in his head n-now, that’s less you have to worry about hitting, r-right? It’s a smaller area, and if it’s in his ears, maybe you can find it easier?” It was a strange idea, but Tsukimi wanted to help her friend somehow.

 

Nowaki looked surprised, and he thought about it for a moment, before he said,”That could work.. But it’s also very precarious and it would often be painful for Izaya.. Maybe at this point, euthanasia would be a better idea-”

 

“NO!” Ayase yelled, interrupting Nowaki quickly.

 

Ayase managed to keep his angry, brave face, for a few more moments, before tears began to tumble down his cheeks. He sniffed, and wiped his eye half-hardheartedly. “N-no.. I don’t want that to happen.. You brought me in here to change Izaya’s mind about euthanasia, and now you’re suggesting it?!” Ayase demanded.

 

“At this point, maybe it would be better for him to die peacefully-”

 

“NO!” Ayase yelled again, before clenching his fists and looking at the ground. Crystal teardrops fell from his eyes and onto the tiled floor below, Tsukimi’s glasses had been removed as she began wiping her own tears as well.

 

“I-Izaya is my friend! H-he’s like a little brother! I don’t want to lose him!” Ayase said,”H-he is so sad.. I want to see him happy! There’s so many things I want to show him.. I promised him.. That when he left, we would do so many things together.. I promised him he would live!!”

 

“I know that Izaya acts strong, but inside he is so scared, he’s afraid, and he wants so desperately for me to like him and to survive. He’s so insecure with all his emotions and he doesn’t know what to think! I want him to feel so much happier than that! I want him to know just how much he truly is loved!”

 

Angrily, Ayase pointed at Nowaki. “You do those tests! As long as there is the tiniest sliver of hope that you’ll find a cure!! I’ll stay no matter what, and I’ll pay for it all if I have to! I’m keeping my promise to Izaya, that one day he’s going to walk out of this hospital completely cured! I’ll stay for however long it takes!!”

 

“A-and I will too!” Tsukimi yelled,”Izaya is my friend too, he made me smile for the first time in months, I’m not going anywhere until he does!”

 

To these two injured souls, there was no _if_ , there was only _when_ , when the third injured soul that made up their group returned to them.

 

Nowaki sighed and nodded, seeing the determination in their eyes. “I understand, and we will do as Tsukimi suggested. I promise you, Ayase, that we will do as much as we can to try and save Izaya,” He declared.

 

Now calm, but still red-rimmed, the two in front of him nodded. Then, slowly, Tsukimi asked,”Can we see him?”

 

Nowaki nodded, allowing them into the room with zero hesitation. The doctor was probably hoping that a familiar face would help Izaya feel better.

 

They hesitantly walked into the room, and Ayase felt his heart break. Izaya looked so small and distressed. The young man was curled into a little ball, the blanket covering his head, as his saddened eyes looked ahead in despair. He was focusing on a corner in the room, and so he didn’t see them come in.

 

However, Izaya finally saw their movement and jumped slightly. As his eyes fell on Ayase, they began to water, and he looked at the crossdresser, desperately needing comfort. Ayase did not hesitate to grant his silent request, running over and hugging Izaya close. The ex-informant broker quickly buried his face in the hollow of his shoulder, before simply beginning to sob.

 

Ayase wished he could whisper comforting words to Izaya, but he knew the other male could no longer hear them. So instead he merely rocked Izaya gently, offering the other male the comfort he needed. This was the first time Izaya cried in front of him, and Ayase promised himself that he would make sure to comfort the male every time he was sad.

 

Tsukimi felt her eyes water again, but quickly pushed her wheelchair over, and placed her hand on Izaya’s back. Then, she began making soothing circles to try and help him relax. There was nothing they could do, nothing they could say at that moment.

 

All they could do is hold each other, and remind themselves that the others were there.

 

– – – – – –

 

The doctors moved fast through the tenth month of Izaya’s hospitality. It was obvious that if they didn’t find the illness soon, it would spread to his brain and kill him, they had an undisclosed amount of time.

 

The tests often left Izaya feeling sick to his stomach again, his head would be painfully throbbing, and often he would find himself unable to move. Dark thoughts once again began to take over Izaya’s thoughts, so, his friends took it upon themselves to distract him and make him feel better.

 

Izaya firmly remembered one day, when Ayase and Tsukimi walked together, carrying a large book. Tsukimi rolled over to Izaya’s side and placed one book in his lap.

 

Izaya drowsily and looked down at the book. He used his weak hand to slide across the title, and tilted his head curiously at the title.

 

It Read:‘Japanese Sign Language’

 

Izaya felt a little hope swell in his chest, as he looked up to see that his two friends had the same book as him. Ayase had typed out a message on his phone, and was holding it out to Izaya, a determined smile on his face. **[We’re all gonna learn it together]** The crossdresser declared.

 

The ex-informant broker, before all of this, may have felt angry at being told what to do. But the fact that his two friends were willing to take away so much time from their day, and learn a completely different language with him was amazing, and it made him happy. So, the deaf male looked up at them and smiled, before nodding firmly.

 

Together they began to learn sign language. It was a struggle for them sometimes, though Izaya caught on pretty quick with his intelligence and speedy fingers, the fact he knew how to lip read already helped too. They even gave each other sign names. Izaya and Tsukimi used the kanji Aya, and the sign for ‘pretty’ for Ayase’s sign name. Ayase and Izaya called Tsukimi the kanji Tsuki, and the sign for ‘art’.

 

Tsukimi and Ayase thought really hard on Izaya’s sign name. But finally they came up with one. They used the kanji Iza, and the sign for ‘strength’. Through the language, they had grown even closer to each other.

 

Another thing Izaya used to distract himself was drawing. Without his hearing, Izaya began to examine the beauty of the world around him with just his eyes.

 

Though he sucked pretty badly at it at first, Tsukimi began to give him pointers, and they drew together.

 

For a small amount of time, everything was fine, but Izaya continued to get worse, and there was no way to stop it, they just had to keep moving forward.

 

 

– – – – – –

 

Eventually Izaya’s body collapsed once more.

 

But this time, it was more painful than ever.

 

It happened in an instant, the sudden pain in Izaya’s body, as he cried out in pain, clutching at his heart as tremors ran through his body. He began coughing up blood once more, a nosebleed following in suit. Every part of his body was on fire, and then, suddenly everything was black, but white with flames of pain. There was no end to it.

 

This time, for sure, Izaya thought he was going to die.

 

– – – – – –

 

“His body is shutting down!”

 

“Give him oxygen!”

 

“There’s nothing we can do!”

 

Nowaki watched the process with panic as he tried to wake up Izaya, but the male was not responding. He was dying, it was the end of it for them, it looked like there was nothing they could do now. Without a cure, Izaya was going to die.

 

“Wait!!”

 

All the doctors and nurses turned quickly, seeing one of the panicked lab members. He panted for a few moments before he held up a bag. “We have the cure! We finished it!” He declared.

 

Nowaki moved fast, snatching the bag and pulling out the small vial. “What do we need to do?” He asked, while the nurses surrounded the dying patient, ready to help.

 

“We need to inject it straight into his bloodstream and his nerves. The bacteria that spread through will be killed. If we want to save him, we need to inject it into the bloodstream from the head and chest, or else the bacteria will beat us,” The older man said,”But from then on it’s up to his body to fight off what’s left of the bacteria himself”

 

Nowaki nodded, getting several injections prepared and slid the needles into Izaya’s deathly pale skin, injecting him with the medicine.

 

For several hours, doctors and nurses were on standby, prepared for anything that may happen. Izaya would occasionally twitch, but slowly, his heart rate began to improve and his breathing got better. It was a miracle the cure had been made in time, but it was still a fight for the raven.

 

For five, long days, Izaya remained unconscious as his body fought the bacteria that spread through his bloodstream and nerves, and it wasn’t until the fourth and fifth day that his body didn’t give out suddenly.

 

Ayase and Tsukimi only moved to go to the restroom, but the rest of their time they spent outside Izaya’s hospital room, waiting for something.. Anything.. Just some type of answer. Ayase would often walk to one end of the hall and come back to the door, looking at the door fearfully. Tsukimi herself was biting her nails worriedly, looking rather panicked as well.

 

It was on day seven that the door opened. Not that it hadn’t before, but it was always just doctors or nurses. This time, when the door opened, it took several seconds for someone to show up.

 

A pale hand grabbed the edge of the door, and some bare feet escaped from the room and out into the hallway. Ayase recognized who it was almost instantly.

 

Looking up, Ayase saw the drowsy, but happy red eyes of his friend, Izaya. For several moments, no one moved. Then, Izaya took his hands, wobbling a little from the loss of support, before leaning against the wall, and beginning to sign. All he had to say was one, simple thing.

 

“ _I’m cured”_

 

Almost instantly, tears began to tumble down Ayase’s cheeks, and he yelled,”Izaya!” He threw his arms around the skinny male, hugging him tightly and lifting him off the ground. Izaya squealed in surprise, before giggles he couldn’t hear escape his throat.

 

Once he placed Izaya down, Ayase began to sign quickly. “ _I told you! I told you! I told you!”_ He signed back, smiling and sobbing at the same time. _“I told you that you would make it through this, and you did!!”_

 

Izaya grinned again, and nodded, bringing his pale hand up to wipe his tears. Then, he turned to Tsukimi, hugging her as well. They probably would have stayed like that for a while, but then Nowaki came around the corner, and saw Izaya.

 

“Izaya!” He exclaimed, causing Tsukimi and Ayase to look over and see what was wrong. Izaya noticed this and turned to see what they were staring at, his face filling with guilt at the sight of the doctor, whom continued,”You aren’t supposed to be out of bed yet! You just came out of a coma!”

 

The raven read the man’s lips and blushed sheepishly, while Ayase and Tsukimi sent him suspicious looks. Nowaki chuckled at the scene, before saying,”Well, it’s not bad that you’re moving around, Izaya, in fact it shows us that you’re getting your strength back, but please don’t strain yourself more than you have to. Since you’re up and awake, we’re going to be moving you to a recovery room, okay?”

 

In the recovery room, Ayase began angrily signing at Izaya. _“The first thing you do when you wake up from a five day coma, after miraculously surviving a deadly illness, is get up and walk around without the doctor’s permission?!”_ He demanded, talking and signing at the same time.

 

Izaya merely nodded at his friend, making Ayase freeze and then begin laughing. He began to sign again. _“Well, I guess it’s good that you’re feeling better, but don’t do that again, we wanna get out of here as soon as possible, right?”_ He asked Izaya, who sheepishly nodded in return.

 

The raven then turned and looked at Tsukimi, and tapped her shoulder. Tsukimi looked up from where she was twiddling her thumbs, and gave a hesitant smile, still as shy as ever. _“You’re coming with us, right?”_ He asked her.

 

Tsukimi looked at Izaya like he was stupid before she said, _”Of course I am! I have nowhere else to go now, besides, this is gonna be an adventure!”_

 

Tsukimi suddenly jerked around, looking at Ayase, who had raised his hands in the air in a fabulous pose. Izaya turned as well, tilting his head, before turning to look at Tsukimi again. _“Did he say something?”_ Izaya asked. There were a few times since they all learned Sign Language that Ayase got too ecited and forgot to sign, rambling on too fast for even Tsukimi to catch sometimes.

 

Ayase gently grabbed Izaya’s shoulder and twisted him forward again, before signing, _”I said we should go to another country! Anywhere we want!”_

 

 _“Doesn’t that seem a little over extreme?”_ Tsukimi asked curiously, _”We could just tour Japan..”_

 

Izaya nodded in agreement, but Ayase wasn’t done. He shook his head, the locks of his purple wig flowing everywhere. _“Shouldn’t we celebrate more than that?”_ He asked them.

 

Izaya’s red eyes and Tsukimi’s brown eyes stared back at the crossdresser curiously, before he huffed and signed, _”All us nearly died in some way or another, but we all made it through. Such a huge feat deserves a huge celebration, right?”_

 

Izaya thought about it for a moment, but he knew Ayase was right. All Izaya knew was his job and the people he messed with, and now going back to any of that would surely be suicide. Nobody wa waiting for him, nobody cared. In fact, they all probably believed he was dead. So, why should he ignore this chance? A chance to go out and explore, not for a job, but for fun. It sounded simply wonderful, so Izaya nodded.

 

“ _Let’s do it!_ ” He signed to them happily, Tsukii grinning and nodding in agreement.

 

Never would Izaya have thought things would end up like this. But it wasn’t bad, he had two people whom didn’t care about his past, and cared about him for who he was now. Izaya himself would go to the ends of the world for them, because.. He cared for them too, more than anything else in the world.

 

He couldn’t wait to walk out of this hospital with them

 

– – – – – –

 

Sadly, recovery itself took a few more weeks, but it was well worth it. Finally, after a grueling 16 months surviving a previously unknown illness, going through different therapies and tests to find a clue as to what was wrong, meeting two new friends, and losing his hearing, he was free.

 

Now here he was, standing at the front desk with Tsukimi and Ayase. Since his old clothes had been gotten rid of just in case they held any underlying bacteria, Ayase had gotten him an outfit that he thought suited the raven, which included a red sweater that was a little too big for his fragile body, skinny jeans, and a shoulder length black wig from Ayase’s collection. Nowaki was currently lecturing Izaya on what to do and what not to do, talking the best he could so Izaya could read his lips. Not for the first time, Izaya thanked his lucky stars he learned to read lips years ago.

 

Some of them were pretty easy to figure out, like no straining himself, to be careful with his body, since his body was now fragile, especially his heart and lungs. They gave him pills to take to make sure that the illness was completely gone, and he had to come back for another appointment in a few months. But until then, he could leave as long as he promised to be careful.

 

Izaya finished reading Nowaki’s lips and nodded firmly. Feeling gratitude flowing throughout his entire being, Izaya brought his hands up and signed one simple phrase.

 

“ _Thank you”_

 

Nowaki had to admit, he felt a fondness for this patient. He watched Izaya struggle through this whole ordeal, lose his hope, regain it, and somehow come out stronger than he had been before. He was a better person now, and the doctor could see a bright future for the three survivors in front of him.

 

He couldn’t find the words to reply to Izaya in such a happy moment, so he merely let a soft smile grow on his face, and inclined his head slightly in acknowledgment.

 

Izaya watched the doctor walk away, before turning and grabbing a rectangular item from his pocket. He stared at it silently, it was his old phone. Before all this began. Obviously, it had died long ago, but he had kept it with him.

 

There was a tiny, nearly unnoticeable tug toward it. Part of him wanted to go back to the way things were before, to his old evil and sadistic ways.

 

But as Izaya, no, the human turned to face his friends, he knew he couldn’t. He had been granted a second chance by the world, and given two extremely loyal and kindhearted friends. There was no reason for him to go back, when all he needed was right in front of him.

 

Looking down at the phone once more, he moved his hands over the nearby trash can, and released his hold on the last connection he had to his old self. It fell, and Izaya felt as if he had been released from the last chains holding him back.

 

Izaya turned back around, seeing Ayase and Tsukimi waiting for him by the front door. He felt a smile crawling up his lips, before walking quickly back to them.

 

Tsukimi looked at him softly, reaching out and taking his hand in her own. “Ready?” She mouthed to him, causing Izaya’s smile to widen considerably. He gave a firm nod, then looked up at Ayase and nodded again. He was ready, more ready than he had been for anything else in his entire life.

 

Ayase nodded back, placing his hands on Tsukimi’s wheelchair handles and pushing her towards the hospital doors, Izaya walking with his hand still interlaced with Tsukimi’s.

 

As the glass doors of the hospital opened, a gust of the outside air and the bright light of the sun hit the trio. They found themselves taking a large breath, before beginning to head forward into the world, together.

 

This was it, they had done it, they had all survived.

 

They were free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you enjoy it? I hope you all did! 
> 
> Next Chapter: Izaya's adventures with Ayase and Tsukimi, and a strange thing called 'love'


	4. Spreading Our Wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya, Ayase, and Tsukimi's adventures together after leaving the hospital.
> 
> (A.k.a part 1 of tooth rotting fluff and a bit of angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looking back now, I didn’t expect this chapter to be over 10,000 words 0.0 Well, new record! I hope the story and the length make it worth the wait! There’s still one chapter after this before the reunion begins.
> 
> Note For Anyone Confused:  
> Italisized Words – Thoughts  
> Italisized Words With Quotations - Sign Language  
> “Oh Dear” - Speec/Phone’s Notepad
> 
> Enjoy this long awaited chapter!

The mansion in front of them gleamed in the sunlight, it’s fancy but modern style matching perfectly with the healthy, green vegetation and different types of trees. Shocked, jaws dropped, Izaya and Tsukimi had to wonder if they were even in Japan anymore. Behind Tsukimi’s wheelchair, Ayase stood, his hands on his feminine hips and an amused smile on his face.

 

“Y-You live here?!” Tsukimi exclaimed aloud, too amazed to sign. The crossdresser giggled, moving gracefully and twirling in front of his companions, pink wig flowing around him with his movements. “Why yes I do~! I bought it all by myself~!” He told them proudly, signing and talking at the same time.

 

At the looks of shock and disbelief on his friend’s faces, he rolled his eyes. “Come on, didn’t you guys ever wonder how I was able to pay for my treatment after I got disowned, both of your hospital bills after you guys ran out of money, and my own outfits? Haven’t you guys ever wondered what my job was?” He asked.

 

Awkwardly, Izaya signed _‘I thought about it.. But it never came up in conversation, I didn’t want to pry..’_ It was true, for once Izaya didn’t want to try and find all the dirt he could on people. Ayase and Tsukimi were his friends, and he had just been given a second chance at life after a year of suffering. He didn’t want to go back to his old ways in any shape or form.

 

Ayase seemed to understand, his eyes softening. He seemed to understand Izaya more than anyone in the world. He nodded gently, before saying,”I’m a fashion designer, I own and create all the clothing for Kuragehime Industries”

 

Instantly, Izaya’s eyes widened. _‘I bought your fur jacket! I loved it so much, it was one of the only things I wore’_ He signed excitedly, red eyes sparkling.

 

Ayase gasped, growing excited that he and his friend were connected in more ways than they knew. “That’s amazing! I’m glad you like my clothing! That’s why I brought you both here!” He explained, the glee growing in his purple eyes.

 

“Because, before we leave, I have to keep my promise!” Ayase said happily,”Remember? I promised both of you that I would get you both a whole new wardrobe, didn’t I?” Izaya’s eyes widened, as he remembered.

 

– – – – – –

 

_“Black, white, dark and light blue..” He began listing. Izaya blinked in confusion and tilted his head. “W-what-?”_

 

_But Ayase continued,”Never with yellow, purpleor pink, and it depends on the tone with brown. Beige is not a very good option, at least in Spain. For a classy glowing look, red is usually paired with blackwhich gives the color a glowing effect..”_

 

“ _What are you doing?” Izaya_ croaked incredulously.

 

 _“I’m just deciding what colors would match your eyes, Izaya-kun!” He said happily,”_ We’re gonna have to get you a whole new wardrobe! After all, you’re not gonna stay in that hospital gown forever”

– – – – – – –

 

Izaya remembered when Ayase said that, and how he didn’t believe him. He had thought that Ayase’s declaration was foolish, thinking he was going to die in the hospital alone. But now it was real, Ayase was going to act on a promise he had given a hopeless young man nearly a year ago. Izaya was unable to control his happiness, as he threw himself at Ayase, hugging him tightly.

 

Ayase squeaked in surprise, before hugging Izaya back in a comforting way. Tsukimi smiled at the affection, as Izaya pulled away, sniffing and wiping his red rimmed eyes. Just hugging Ayase made him feel so much better, and it made Ayase happy too, if the smile on his face was anything to judge by.

 

Once everyone had calmed down, Ayase quickly leapt behind Tsukimi again, exclaiming and signing,”Alright! Let’s go and get you both ready for our adventure!”

 

“Ayase, we don’t even have our passports yet,” Tsukimi told him, as Ayase scoffed, waving his hand and heading in the gate.

 

 _‘Details, details’_ Ayase signed, making Izaya giggle in amusement, following next to them. The second they were near the front of the mansion, they were bombarded by staff, dressed in fancy clothing and all looking very professional.

 

“Ayase-sama, are these the guests who will be accompanying you on your trip?” One tall butler asked, and Ayase nodded.

 

“Yes, the wardrobe is ready, right?” Ayase asked, and the butler nodded. When he nodded, Ayase grinned widely and then clapped his hands together, before signing and speaking again. “Perfect! Let’s get this party started!”

 

He pulled Tsukimi and Izaya into the house, leading them through the large and fancy home. Izaya had a fancy penthouse, but it was nothing compared to this. It wasn’t over extravagant, but it was much larger than any house they had seen.

 

They were taken into a room that once again made them gawk in awe. The room wasn’t as intricately decorated as the rest of the room, but it was marvelous in it’s own way. The walls were a soothing cream color, the soft carpet was brown, and by far one of the softest things Izaya had stood on in months of living in a tiled hospital. Around the room were racks and racks of different kinds of clothing, and three standing mirrors around them. It was truly a perfect room for someone like Ayase.

 

Ayase then signed _‘Okay,_ _I’m_ _going to get your_ _guys’_ _measurements now so we can get the right sizes for your clothing, and give you both your new wardrobes_ _from my own clothing line_ _!’_

 

He picked Tsukimi up, and set her on a stool, giving Izaya one too. Tsukimi looked at Ayase worriedly, shakily signing _‘Are you sure this is okay? I really don’t need much, Ayase, I’m fine with just a dress or something, are you sure this won’t be too much’_

 

Ayase smirked, and replied _‘Of course it will be, I’m fucking rich!’_

 

 _‘_ _And so modest too’_ Izaya teased, making Ayase gasp, placing a hand over his heart dramatically. _‘You wound me, Izaya’_ He signed back, causing Tsukimi and Izaya to giggle in amusement, placing their hands over their mouths.

 

Ayase giggled as well, before pushing them farther into the room and grabbing Izaya’s hand. He brought him to the middle of the room, taking a tape measure and beginning to measure several parts of Izaya’s body. Once he got his measurements he stood back, hand on his chin and looking Izaya up and down, checking to see what colors would match with Izaya.

 

Then, he snapped his fingers and ran to one of the rack. He pulled out several articles of fabric, and then ran back over. He handed them to Izaya, pushing him gently behind one of the dividers, and running back to help Tsukimi.

 

Izaya watched him go, a small smile on his face. He still found himself wondering, sometimes, how his life had changed so fast. After the ordeal with his illness, Izaya found himself looking back on his old life with scorn and shame. He truly believed that he was not living a life worth much of anything. Despite how painful the past year and a half of his life had been, he knew it changed him for the better.

 

Izaya placed the clothing on a stool, and picked one up. It was a navy blue sweater, that looked very comfy but still a little too big. The 24 year old took off his shirt, pulling the sweater over his head and onto his body. It was very comfortable. Though, as he looked in the mirror, he realized that not much seemed to fit him anymore.

 

It had been so long since Izaya had seen himself in any type of mirror, being bedridden usually kept a person from doing that, so he couldn’t help but move closer to examine himself.

 

Izaya saw the bags under his eyes, which only helped to pronounce his pale skin and hollow cheeks. His body was skinny, painfully so, and he looked extremely fragile. Moving closer to the mirror, he wondered why his black wig didn’t seem to fit his face anymore.

 

That’s when he noticed it, his eyebrows. It wasn’t very noticeable, unless you were looking for it. His eyebrows were white, completely snow white. Weird.. Why was that? Curiously, Izaya moved forward, using his finger to rub the eyebrow firmly. Nothing feel off, it all remained white. Izaya didn’t understand.. What happened-

 

A hand on his shoulder broke his concentration, shocks flying through the deaf man’s body at the sudden, unexpected touch. Whipping around, a hand on his heart, Izaya stumbled back against the mirror, coming face to face with Ayase.

 

The crossdresser looked panicked by Izaya’s reaction, signing, _”I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to frighten you! Just was checking to see how you were doing!”_

 

Izaya took a few moments to calm himself down. It was still so hard, even after this far in, to see just how much all this affected him. To be afraid by the smallest sudden touches, to be afraid of what he couldn’t hear. Shakily shoving those thoughts away, he signed a small, simple,”Okay”

 

Ayase signed in relief, though that didn’t stop the young man from placing his hand on Izaya’s shoulder again, eyes filled with protective comfort. All that seemed to be forgotten, however, as he looked down, noticing Izaya was wearing the sweater he gave him.

 

To be honest, he looked adorable, so adorable that Ayase let out an inhuman squeal about it. Izaya blinked in curiosity at his excited jumping. _“You’re so adorable! You’re like a cute little marshmallow, except one that needs to put more weight on cuz you’re still too skinny!”_ Ayase told him, a compliment turning into a mama-bear order at the end.

 

Even though he probably should have been annoyed, Izaya couldn’t help the giggle that escaped his mouth, a smile crawling up with it. Ayase smiled even wider, glad he got Izaya to laugh.

 

He took Izaya’s hand, dragging him back into the middle of the room, where Tsukimi was now wearing a pretty red sweater dress. Izaya grinned at her, signing _“Pretty”_ Tsukimi looked up from biting her nail, blushing bright red before smiling at him. As if it was a competition, Ayase then signed _“Gorgeous”_ in a very dramatic manner, making Tsukimi scoff, punching his arm in a playful way.

 

Ayase puffed his chest out proudly, firmly signing, _”Now that I’ve got your measurements, I’ll get you guys your outfits, and then we’ll go! We can go wherever we want! It doesn’t matter! It’s our recovery party!”_

 

“It’s not too much?” Tsukimi worriedly asked aloud,”We can’t pay you back yet… And we’ll probably never get to..”

 

“You don’t have to. You’re my friends,” Ayase responded firmly, taking both their hands in his own. “This is for all of us, and we’re going together. It’s going to be fun and therapeutic, don’t worry! This isn’t about the money, it’s about the fact we all made it, that we survived”

 

Izaya watched Ayase’s lips, feeling something gathering in his chest. Because of these two people, he had experienced so many different emotions and ideas he’d never thought of before. They helped him, and are still helping him.

 

A smile crawled up his face again. He felt excited, excited for what was to come in his life staring after this point. He felt like, when they were together, there was nothing that could stand in their way.

 

Ayase and Tsukimi.. His best friends..

 

– – – – – –

 

A few days later, they were on a plane, and heading towards their destination. Izaya stared out the window of his seat nearly the entire flight, just watching the world roll by. Ever since his hearing left him, he found himself appreciating his eyesight much more. In fact, he felt like his eyesight and sense of touch had gotten better since it happened.

 

The world flew by them, and soon they were in Australia. Ayase had practically begged them to go there first when he first suggested it in the hospital. Eager to pay back the person who took care of the last of their hospital bills, they agreed.

 

At first, everything was fine, until they were waiting for their bags. Izaya looked around, and suddenly realized just how many people were around them. His body seemed to tense up, seeing them all. Talking, crowding him. He could see their lips moving, but they were speaking in English. He didn’t understand it, he couldn’t lip read English. Suddenly, he felt like he was suffocating, his chest hurt. He couldn’t even hear anymore, but it was just too _loud_.

 

Ayase, now outside of his normal cross dressing outfits, was wearing a simple red tank top and khaki shorts that matched with his now shoulder length sandy blonde hair, seemed to notice instantly. He turned, purple eyes concerned. Moving forward quickly, and taking Izaya’s hand. The unaware male jumped at the touch, his breathing becoming worse.

 

Sitting Izaya down on one of the chairs, he held his hands, allowing Izaya to squeeze his back for comfort. The sickly male wanted to apologize, but his hands continued to shake too much for him to calm down.

 

Noticing this, Ayase reached into his bag, pulling out an item and placing it in Izaya’s hand, before running back to Tsukimi to look for their bags.

 

Izaya looked down at the piece of metal and plastic in his hand. It was his inhaler, he realized it now. Because of his weakened lungs, he often needed this to help bring his breathing back to safety, since overexerting himself or anxiety attacks tended to happen a lot more often.

 

Using it, he found his breathing coming back to him for a moment, as he kept his head down. He was afraid, that if he looked up, he would see the people and fall into a panic again. He wasn’t sure if his lungs could handle that again.

 

He felt Tsukimi’s hand on his, he could tell by her small, yet calloused hand. She held his hand as they left the airport a while later, Izaya still refusing to look up. He was calm now, but nervous all the same.

 

As the fresh air hit him, Izaya found himself unable to stop his curiosity. He blinked, lifting his head, and found himself unable to stop the awed intake of breath.

 

The sun was high in the sky, as the trees flowed with leaves, the buildings seemed to match perfectly. While in Japan, winter was beginning to nip in the air, Australia was warm, it was just the start of summer. The ocean was close enough that Izaya could smell it, and it relaxed him even further. He followed after Ayase, whom was pushing Tsukimi.

 

They stopped on a nearby street, just looking at all the scenery. It had been a while since Izaya had left a city, or a hospital for that matter. These beaches and foliage continued to catch his attention, so much so that he nearly didn’t notice when Ayase turned to sign to them.

 

“You guys ready?” He asked happily, signing at the same time. “It’s time for us to have fun!” Tsukimi grinned excitedly, while both her and Izaya nodded. They were finally here, now they could be together, and be free. They could be alive.

 

– – – – – –

 

After a restful night at the hotel, their next few weeks were filled with excitement. They went to restaurants, tried foods. They got Ice Cream, Izaya having found his taste buds fully accepted sweet things after having to eat hospital food for over a year. He enjoyed strawberry the most.

 

The beaches were even more fun, as he wiggled his toes in the soft sand or sat near the edge of the water with Tsukimi while Ayase searched for seashells. Eventually, when he kept begging, they helped him, finding many pretty colors and styles, even a few sand dollars.

 

They went to animal sanctuaries, where they met several types of animals. Tsukimi was more interested in the jeyllfish they saw at a nearby aquarium, Ayase found an interest in the peacocks, while Izaya himself was interested in some smaller animals. Some bunny rabbits.

 

He didn’t know why they interested him so much, but with their huge ears, them eating the lettuce out of his hand, and licking his fingers afterwards, causing him to giggle. He noticed Ayase and Tsukimi exchange a look when they thought he wasn’t looking. He wondered what they were plotting.

 

Of course, things didn’t remain stagnant forever. One day, they were sitting, watching the sunset together. Izaya had turned, looking at Tsukimi, and noticed something in her eyes. A spark, an interest, an idea. She just got inspiration, and he wondered what she was thinking about.

 

Later that night, in their hotel room, she had pulled out her sketchbook and was drawing again, and drawing with eagerness she hadn’t had for a while when it came to art. Tilting his head, he walked around the couch, sitting next to her. She had been so concentrated that when he moved next to her, she jumped.

 

 _“What are you drawing?”_ He asked, making sure the question showed on his face. Tsukimi looked up at him, a blush on her face. She looked down at the sketchbook in her hand, before sliding it into his hands. Gently, Izaya ran his finger down the drawings, his eyes taking in the words and story.

 

He used one hand to sign, _“A manga?”_ Tsukimi shyly smiled as he handed it back, nodding. _“Yeah..”_ She began, before quickly continuing, _”It’s probably stupid, I don’t know. But while were walking around today, the story came to me and it’s been the first thing I’ve been able to make in forever and I just-”_  


Noticing her shaking hands, and how nervous she was becoming, Izaya took placed his hands over hers, giving a comforting grin. Taking his hands away, he said, _”Don’t call it stupid. The only thing stupid is you thinking that it would be stupid”_  


Tsukimi giggled, her black eyes filled with amusement. “That doesn’t make sense,” She said aloud, her smile threatening to grow bigger.

 

 _“Hush, you,”_ Izaya teased back, before continuing, _”You’ve always loved drawing. You told me when we met, you always loved it as a hobby. And this story is amazing”_ Tsukimi looked like she was about to deny him, looking away shyly, but he tapped her shoulder, as he wasn’t finished yet.

 

 _“_ _You helped me, more than you can ever know, so I’m helping you,”_ He declared, _”Tsukimi, don’t just keep this to yourself, publish it. You can go far with this, I know it”_

 

Tsukimi looked appreciative of his words, but then lowered her head again. “But..” She began, looking at him again. “It’s not even that good.. It’s still all over the place, the characters are dull.. Who would want to read it?”  


_“I would,”_ Izaya firmly signed, his face set in stone. _“And so would Ayase. If you really think it’s bad, then we’ll help you until you think it’s just right. You can do this Tsukimi, you’re more amazing than you give yourself credit for”_

 

Tsukimi, for a moment, looked like she was about to cry. She lunged forward, taking Izaya’s form in her arms and hugging him tightly. “Thank you..” She whispered. Even though Izaya couldn’t hear her, he could guess what she said. He merely smiled, nodding into her shoulder. Of course he would help her, he always would support her no matter what.

 

That’s what friends do.

 

– – – – – –

4 Months Later

Tohoku Region, Japan

– – – – – –

 

Outside of the hotel they were in, Izaya could see the blooming trees and flowers. It was really nice weather right now, and very enjoyable, despite his nervousness about being back in Japan. They weren’t staying for long, only for two reasons, one was all three of them needed checkups. Izaya and Ayase to make sure their illnesses were not attempting to come back, and Tsukimi to check on her legs and make sure they were the best they could be physically.

 

The second reason, Izaya was more excited about. Tsukimi, after much insecurity, rewriting, scrapping, and re-visioning, had finished her manga. Well, the first few chapters anyways. It was amazing to hear her talk about it, she was so dedicated and excited to have it published, Izaya and Ayase were both extremely proud of her.

 

The publishing company was in Tokyo, too close for Izaya’s comfort. So, they got a hotel in Tohoku, and Izaya was going to stay in Tohoku while they went to attempt to get the manga published. They were a little nervous to leave Izaya alone, but he promised that of anything was wrong, he would tell them.

 

 _“_ _Are you_ _absolutely_ _sure you’ll be okay?”_ Ayase signed again, while Tsukimi messed with the tie on her suit.

 

Izaya giggled softly, signing, _”Ayase, I’m not a kid, I’m 24, I’ll be alright, and I’ll be right here to celebrate when those publishers say yes”_ His face was set with determination, which made Tsukimi giggle, shyly signing, _”We’ll see..”_

 

Ayase turned, placing his hand on her cheek and nodding, his eyes filled with affection. He moved his hand down, fixing her tie as he said,”You’ll see, the answer will be yes, you deserve it” Tsukimi smiled back, taking his hand, before they both turned to face Izaya..

 

Who had the biggest, snarkiest grin they had ever seen.

 

Tsukimi blushed as red as a tomato, before yelling,”We’re leaving!” Quickly, the two left, before Izaya could throw some smart ass comment their way. Izaya watched them go, chuckling at their embarrassment.

 

The door shut, and Izaya stood for a moment. He then moved to the balcony, watching for the window, and thanking the sun and the stars that they were only on the second floor. He saw them go, and smiled hopefully. Now he could get started.

 

Moving over, he grabbed his tablet. He pulled up his browser, searching some western recipes, he wanted to learn to make a cake of some kind. For Tsukimi, to celebrate, whether they took her manga or not. He could do it, as long as he kept track of time, since he couldn’t hear any beeps.

 

He found recipes with subtitles, and instantly fell into them, reading and watching. A lot of these recipes were really sweet too, what was it with western society and putting so much sugar in everything? Izaya supposed he shouldn’t complain, since he enjoyed sweet things a lot more now, but that usually meant fruit or small sweets, not a giant cake.

 

Once he absorbed himself into the reading, he soaked up all the information like a sponge, the world around him faded away. As time passed by, Izaya suddenly wondered what was going on with the heating in this place, why was it suddenly so hot in here?

 

He stood up, holding his tablet to his chest as he went to open a window. That’s when he noticed it outside, people were running away from the building, crowds of them. He frowned, suddenly feeling nervousness building up in his chest, what was going on?

 

He moved over to the door, his chest seizing up in fear. If others were leaving the hotel in such a panic, something had to be wrong, he needed to leave. He reached out, grabbing the handle to turn it, only to cry out and fall backward, grabbing his hand tightly. It _burned_ , it fucking _**burned**_. Was there a fire?! That could be the only explanation.

 

Izaya knew he couldn’t open the door, the smoke could kill his already half-dead lungs, and it was already seeping through the door. But there was no other door! How else could he escape?! Was he trapped, was this the end?! No no, there was the balcony! Someone had to be able to see him right?

 

He went as fast as he could, sliding the door open and leaning over the edge. He waved his uninjured hand, trying desperately to get attention. He tried to yell, but he couldn’t tell how loud it was over the noise that could have been down there.

 

There was people, how come they couldn’t see him? He could smell the smoke now, feel the heat on his back, he started to cough. Desperately, his red eyes scanned, finding a vase with a plant. It was the only way he could catch attention.

 

The vase smashed onto the ground below, catching people’s attention. They turned, pointing up at the trapped young man. Suddenly, there was a flurry of activity, ladders set up, as the firefighters got Izaya out of the building as the fire closed in.

 

Looking back, Izaya saw that nearly half the building was inflamed. The hotel was traditionally built after all, mostly out of wood, so it caught fire pretty quickly.

 

But that didn’t make Izaya feel better about the fact he had almost died in a fire. The firefighter carried the gasping figure to an ambulance, a shock blanket now draped over his shoulders, sweat shining on his face and a small amount of soot on his face.

 

It seemed that he was the last person trapped in the building, as the ambulance was now tending to people instead of waiting for more. Izaya was instantly taken in, once they realized he was having trouble breathing, gave him an oxygen mask, and tended to his hand, which was a second degree burn.

 

Finally, it began to catch up to Izaya. Even though he had been in so many dangerous situations, he knew how vulnerable he was. He almost died because of that illness, and now he could have died again. Izaya was tired of it, tired of hurting and being hurt, tired of violence, tired of being close to death. In that moment, all his experience went away, he felt so small and shattered, like he couldn’t handle everything that had built up anymore..

 

Bringing his un-injured hand to his face, he began to sob. Sob away all his anger, his hatred and fear. He just let it all out, and it only helped to make him feel more vulnerable in the end, but that was okay.. He had accepted it.

 

– – – – – –

 

Izaya and the other people were taken to the hospital, where luckily the worst injuries were just a few third degree burns. Izaya’s palm had been cleaned and bandaged, and he was given oxygen for a few hours as he tried to calm himself.

 

Once he was released, Ayase and Tsukimi were there. Tsukimi rolled herself forward quickly, hugging his waist tightly. Ayase ran over, hugging Izaya from behind and sighing in relief. “I thought we lost you,” He whispered, not caring that Izaya couldn’t hear him, he was just thankful that the young man had made it.

 

Turning Izaya around, he then signed, _”What happened?! Why didn’t you leave when the alarm went off?! You could have died!!”_ His face was angry, and demanding, not thinking about what he just said.

 

Though Izaya’s eyes were already red rimmed from crying, he began to cry again, angrily signing back, _”Why do you think?! I couldn’t hear it, Ayase!”_ He then buried his face into Ayase’s shoulders, his own shaking in sadness. He didn’t mean to be rude, but after what happened, he couldn’t help himself.

 

 _“_ _I was so afraid.. Ayase.._ ” He signed slowly, not moving from the embrace of his two friends. _“I thought I was going to die, I thought everything in the hospital would have meant nothing.. What if something like that happens again?”_  


Ayase shushed Izaya, though he did not hear, and held the male closer. He was afraid too. This happened when Tsukimi and him weren’t there, and it could happen again, whether it be a fire, or a break in, they needed a solution, to make sure that if anything ever happened, Izaya would be safe when they weren’t there.

 

Suddenly, an idea came to him. Making sure not to panic Izaya, he pushed him back a bit, before signing, _”Hey, if I said I may have a solution, even if it seems kind of stupid, would you try it?”_

 

Izaya looked up at him with firm, determined eyes. Then, he declared _“Of course, I would try anything to help Ayase, I’ll always consider your ideas, no matter what it is, I will never outright say no, you have my word”  
_

– – – – – –

 

“ _No”_

 

“ _But-”_

 

“ _No”_

 

“ _Izaya-”_

 

“ _Absolutely not!”_

 

“What happened to no outright refusing?” Tsukimi asked, arching a brow. Izaya frowned, looking down and squeezing his red sweater in his hands. He then looked at the door’s sign, which read ‘Kusukabe Dog Training’

 

There was a ball of anxiety in his chest, as he quickly signed,” _I didn’t think you meant.._ _This!_ _Ayase, I don’t like dogs, they don’t like me. This isn’t a good idea.._ ”

 

Ayase gave the 24 year old a gentle smile, as he replied, _”Izaya, trust me, have I ever not thought about something before I did it?”_

 

 _“_ _Well..”_ Izaya began, _”There was that one time.. With the wine in the rice cooker-”_ Ayase quickly darted forward, grabbing Izaya’s hands and shaking his head. “We don’t talk about that anymore!” He exclaimed aloud. They giggled, thinking of the crossdresser’s embarrassing moment.

 

Knowing that it had cheered Izaya up a bit, he bought his hands away from Izaya’s and up a little highe, shyly asking, _”Please? For me? Just give it a chance?”_ He gave his best puppy dog eyes, purple sparkling with hope.

 

Izaya wanted to refuse, he really did. But he could tell how much anxiety he had caused, and how scared his friends were. They just wanted him to be safe, they didn’t mean any harm. Yes, he could do this, if not for himself, then for them.

 

Izaya inclined his head the smallest bit, half-hoping that Ayase wouldn’t notice and they would all just go back to the hotel. But he did, and the next thing he knew, he was being led into the building, fear crawling all over him like fire ants.

 

They met Kusukabe, who explained the process to Izaya. It would take a long while for everything to be ready, he’d need to get the paperwork ready, choose a dog, and then do the training, which could take up to a year.

 

The paperwork took about a week, and then came what Kusukabe called ‘The hardest part’.. Picking the dog. According to him, Izaya would need to find a dog that not only matched well with his disability, but also fit into his lifestyle.

 

Ayase and Tsukimi both helped him when they weren’t working their respective jobs, All three of them looked at breeds, personalities, health benefits and issues, until they decided it was time to actually start looking. They looked at breeders, pet stores, but none of them had the right feel. Until Ayase suggested they look at a shelter.

 

He also noticed that, when Izaya was with them, he tended to ignore the dogs and try to not be with them for as long as possible. He tried to get out of choosing, so he decided that Izaya would simply go in the back to look at dogs by himself.

 

So here he was, walking down a hall with dog kennels on all sides. Some dogs jumped at him from the bars, causing him to jump, others ignored him. A lot of them tended to be barking, and though Izaya couldn’t hear it, he was pretty sure it sounded like hell.

 

Passing one cage, he saw something that caught his sight. It was a small puppy with large paws, it’s fur was curly and shaggy, with a white color (Though it was kind of dirty at the moment), and golden blotches of fur all over, on one eye, both it’s ears, and many other places. It’s pink nose had two black spots, and the small pup was holding a carrot toy in it’s mouth, looking quite proud of itself. However, after a moment, it seemed to know it was being watched, and turned to look at Izaya with sky blue eyes.

 

The pup climbed onto it’s feet, tail wagging a mile a minute. It dropped the carrot, running over to the front of the kennel, until it’s front and back leg caught on each other, causing the puppy to tumble not-so-gracefully onto the ground.

 

Izaya brought his hand to his mouth, unable to hold in his laughter. The pup climbed to it’s feet, walking over to the front of the kennel, it’s tongue lolling out of it’s mouth as if flopped down, legs splayed out under it.

 

Maybe it was the fact the puppy was the first dog not to instantly try to attack Izaya when they spotted him, or maybe it was the fact she just looked like the most adorable fuzzball on the earth. But Izaya felt her managing to worm her way into his heart.

 

Kneeling down, he smiled at her. He wished he could talk to her, coo at her, or ask if she wanted to come home with him. It seemed he didn’t need to though, as she instantly began to wiggle excitedly, until she lost her balance, her body flopping onto the ground below her.

 

Izaya laughed again, as he signed, _”We’ll definitely have to work on your balance once you’re with me”_

 

He knew what he said, what it implied, and he didn’t try and reword himself, because it was the truth. This puppy was his, he had chosen her as his companion, just as she had chosen him.

 

Later that day, Ai the Goldendoodle got her forever home, and officially joined Izaya in his makeshift family.

 

– – – – – –

 

Over the next six months, Ai got training as a service dog. At first, she struggled, since her attention tended to not focus on one thing for long, unless it was Izaya. But as she got a little older, she showed her true intelligence, her bond with Izaya helping to strengthen her training.

 

The puppy was nearly full grown, already above Izaya’s knees in height and still growing. At the end of the six months, Ai officially graduated as a registered and trained service dog. And she looked extremely adorable in her cap and gown.

 

Just the first few days of his life with her seemed to help Izaya immensely, and he was so happy to have her with him. She was not only his companion, but his friend. She made him feel brave, feel strong, and he loved this happy feeling.

 

– – – – – –

 

Of course, this feeling wasn’t able to last forever. Soon, Izaya’s insecurities began to rear their ugly heads again, no matter how hard he tried to stop it.

 

He really didn’t mean for it to, but as he watched Ayase and Tsukimi, as they worked their jobs and brought in money, the feeling kept coming, and got worse each time it attacked him. It sent Izaya back into a small, barely noticeable depression.

 

But of course, one person did notice, Ayase. After he noticed, nothing would stop him from finding out what was wrong and fixing it, especially for the one he saw as a little brother.

 

They were in France when he figured out, having gone there to promote Ayase’s clothing line with a few fashion shows. Ayase returned from checking on the decorations, and looked around the fancy hotel for a moment. He saw Izaya outside on the balcony with Ai, whom was holding her old carrot chew toy in her mouth. Izaya pet her with one hand, occasionally looking at her, but mainly focusing on the pad of paper in his lap.

 

The crossdresser sighed, Izaya had grown distant as of late, he needed to find out why. Gentle, he knocked on the glass door, gaining Ai’s attention, who nuzzled Izaya to show him that there was someone attempting to get his attention. Izaya turned, pressing the pad of paper onto his chest, before turning and facing Ayase.

 

The young man outside stood, walking inside with his dog, to the bed they shared, which was the one closer to the front door. Izaya tilted his head, waiting to see what Ayase would say. Eventually, Ayase signed, _”What’s wrong?”_

 

 _“Nothing,”_ Izaya instantly signed with one hand, the other hand holding the paper to his chest. Ayase narrowed his eyes, a frown gracing his lipstick covered lips. _“Liar,”_ He replied, moving closer to the deaf young man.

 

 _“_ _I don’t wanna talk about it, nothing is wrong,”_ Izaya signed again, moving closer to his nightstand quickly. Ayase moved forward, grabbing Izaya’s shirt and pulling him back. Ai instantly released an angry growl, moving in front of her owner.

 

Ayase let go once Izaya was staring at him, quickly signing, _”Something is. You never act like this. You’re normally so open, what’s going on?”_

 

Izaya looked a bit shaken from being grabbed so suddenly, but quickly shook his head, forcefully signing, _”No, I’m fine, you don’t have to be bothered with my problems!”_

 

Suddenly, Ayase was exasperated, as he demanded, _”Have you forgotten what all three of us went through together, Izaya?! How could you think that you’re a bother? You’re not-”_

 

 _“_ _Yes I am!”_ Izaya signed quickly, enraged,”You and Tsukimi have your talents, your jobs! You work hard and I just leech off of you! I’m such a burden! I just lay around while you guys work hard, what kind friend am I? I’m weak, I’m stupid, I’m talent less! I can’t do anything for anyone!!”

 

Izaya looked like he was about to break down, throwing the pad of paper face down on the bed angrily, before grabbing Ai by her red leash and leaving the hotel room as fast as he could, before Ayase could stop him.

 

The door slammed loudly, as Ayase frowned sadly, guilt seeming to fill him like a barrel. He sighed sadly, looking down at his hands. “Is that really what he thinks..?” Ayase asked aloud, his voice filled with despair,”Why would he think that..? It’s not true.. None of it is..”  


Ayase trailed his hand across the bed, his dainty hand slowly picking up the pad of paper Izaya had thrown down, his curiosity getting the better of him in this sad moment. At the sight of what was on the paper, he gasped in shock. It.. Was beautiful!

 

The photo was only half completed, but it looked like Izaya was trying to draw an extremely realistic picture of Ai, which he got pretty much spot on. It was beautiful, and Ayase had to wonder.. How could Izaya call himself talent less with art like this? Was he really that insecure? Ayase smiled, suddenly.. An idea climbed into his head, but if he wanted to do it.. He’d have to do a bit of shopping.

 

– – – – – –

 

When a red rimmed Izaya returned to the hotel room, he wasn’t expecting what he found. On his bed, there was a large bag filled with what looked like paints and paintbrushes, and in the corner of the large hotel room was an easel, already set up and everything.

 

Blinking in confusion, Izaya looked down at his dog, whose head was tilted as well. But curiosity began to fill him, and Izaya couldn’t help it. Reaching into the first bag, he pulled out a handful of different sizes of paintbrushes, and bottles of paint. He emptied the bags, finding so many different colors his sensitive eyes felt overwhelmed.

 

He picked some paintbrushes and a white bottle of paint up, looking at the easel, a feeling of desire creeping up on him. He moved to the easel, Ai following him dutifully, and seeming just as curious as him.

 

After Izaya placed all the paints closer to the easel, he sat there, staring and wondering.. What should he paint? He was never interested in art before, but when Tsukimi taught him in the hospital, and during their travels around the world, he found that the sights and scenes stuck out to him and were much more beautiful than he remembered. Soon after, he was hooked on art.

 

After they left the hospital, he kept drawing secretly, too insecure to let anyone find out. After all, what kind of life could he live by painting stupid pictures?

 

Despite these thoughts, he was excited to see these supplies. Picking up the brush in his hand, and looked around. What could he paint? He still didn’t know. Turning around, he saw Ai, whom was calmly sitting next to him. He smiled, reaching down and petting behind her ears. The dog leaned into the touch happily, her tail thumping against the ground.

 

Suddenly, he had an idea. Moving, he filled the palette with colors. Once his paintbrush hit the portrait, the rest of the world faded away, all that was left in this world to him was his dog, and the easel. For the first time in a while, Izaya felt like he may be able to do something right.

 

– – – – – – –

It was several hours later that Ayase returned, thinking that Izaya would need time by himself and for Ayase not to be there if he was going to touch the paint. This was about showing his friend that he wasn’t stupid, talentless, or any of the other words he called himself. There were a lot of things he was good at, he was just too insecure to acknowledge it.

 

He returned, this time with Tsukimi in tow. They walked into the hotel room, quietly, though Ai still managed to notice them. Izaya was facing away, but noticed Ai’s movement and tuned. As he did so, he revealed the painting he had been working so hard on.

 

It was a realistic, and dramatic picture of Ai’s face, but all the golden patches of fur grew out to become the sun, shining beautifully. The rest of the white fur remained untouched except by the rays of light, matching the black background in a complimentary way.

 

“Whoa..” Tsukimi whispered in shock, _”Izaya.. This painting.. It’s so beautiful!!”_ The flustered young man she was speaking to blushed bright red.

 

For a moment, Izaya couldn’t seem to find a proper response. He brought up his hands several times, only to pull them back down and blush even worse. Finally, he nervously signed, _”I guess”_

 

 _“_ _Don’t guess,”_ Ayase declared firmly, _”Izaya, you have talent, a lot of talent. You need to realize that you aren’t a burden, you never have been. You’re our friend, nothing you do will change that”_

 

Looking at the painting, Tsukimi then said, _”You’re good, Izaya, you could make a career out of art like this!”_

 

A blush on his face, Izaya looked at them. _“But..”_ He began, _”But who would even look at this? It’s not even that good, I’m sure there’s much better ones out there”_

 

Tsukimi sighed softly, a fond look coming across her face. _“We’ve been here before, haven’t we? When I first started drawing manga, you were the one who encouraged me in the first place. I would have never been brave enough otherwise. So now, I’m going to return that favor”_

 

_“_ _Izaya, you are able to do so much, be proud. People would love to see it, and it can be a job you love and love to do. Please give it a chance, and realize just how amazing you are”_

 

The speech, so much like his own with Tsukimi, that he was moved. He felt hope. Maybe..? Jut maybe.. He could. Izaya took a deep breath, and finally nodded. _“Okay,”_ He responded bravely, _”I’ll try”_

 

Ayase and Tsukii grinned happily, and moved forward, pulling the young man into a tight hug. Izaya giggled, burying himself into their warmth, and enjoying the hug with them in that happy moment.

 

Once they pulled out of the hug, Izaya giggled, firmly said, _”But not that painting. I don’t think Ai would let me take it away from her”_

 

The dog in question had moved in front of the painting, staring at it with a tilted head. Then, she turned to look at them, tail thumping against the ground. She looked back at the portrait of her again, before puffing out her chest proudly.

 

Izaya laughed, loving how adorable his dog was, how courageous his friends were, how they made him feel so strong and brave. He loved them so much, and he never wanted to leave them.

 

– – – – – – –

 

After Izaya agreed, Ayase and Tsukimi encouraged him to paint more, and he did. He painted anything that felt right, anything that inspired him. He painted his emotions out, it helped him feel so much better, now he wasn’t building up all these emotions inside of him, and had a proper outlet if they started to.

 

Ayase, whom had experience with a lot of things (Some of which he wouldn’t list), helped Izaya get a manager. She was an older woman named Banba. She not only enjoyed Izaya’s art, but was a fan of Tsukimi’s manga as well!

 

She was very helpful, she taught him how to set up galleries, barter, and helped him learn to negotiate with people looking to buy his art and setting up galleries when it came to which prices were acceptable to price artists. She not only helped Izaya, she helped Tsukimi and Ayase as well, with her wisdom and the motherly atmosphere around her.

 

Funnily enough, she seemed to take that motherly role seriously after spending time with them. If Tsukimi was struggling with moving around in her wheelchair, she was there to help. If Ayase was up too late when Banda was around, she’d make sure to shoo him off to bed before he could work too hard. If Izaya was depressed, or in an art slump, she was there to talk and listen. She was even learning sign language!

 

Banba was there at the first art gallery, slowly signing to the nervous man. She promised him that everything would go okay. He didn’t believe her, he thought she was lying, and that people were going to laugh. But.. They didn’t.

 

People were interested, people were kind, any criticism he got was constructive and, they were impressed that he was only an amateur with such art. Izaya didn’t know what to say.. It was amazing!

 

His art spread around, and he became known as Delic the artist, his popularity was growing every day. He, Ayase, and Tsukimi were often grouped together as fans, seen as a family just like they always thought, and together they were so happy. But what they didn’t know was that their greatest achievement had yet to come.

 

– – – – – –

 

 

It started two months later, they were back in Japan and Izaya was having a checkup. Not only to make sure that his body was still getting better, but also to check on his hair. It had finally started ground back, but it was growing back white, and they couldn’t help but be a little nervous.

 

Izaya visited Nowaki again for his checkup, who was happy to see that Izaya looked much better than when he was in the hospital. They took some time to catch up before the beginning the checkup.

 

“So there’s nothing wrong with my hair?” Izaya asked curiously, using his tablet’s notes to talk to Nowaki, one hand holding the phone and the other hand carding through his chin length white hair.

 

Nowaki hummed gently, before he replied,”No, nothing at all. If I had to guess, I would say that your hair probably lost it’s pigmentation due to all the stress you went through while we were attempting to find a cure for your illness. We didn’t notice before since it hadn’t grown back yet, but not it’s returning at a faster rate than most other people’s hair. I’m sure, though, that you aren’t bothered by that”

 

Izaya smiled, shaking his head in agreement before asking,”So no side effects?”

 

Nowaki thought for a moment, before he replied,”Your hair probably won’t ever return to it’s natural pigmentation, so you’ll probably have white hair for the rest of your life” Izaya nodded. He didn’t mind, he was just glad his hair was finally growing back.

 

Opening his file, Nowaki happily said,”Well, past that, you’re getting healthier every day! Your iron levels have gone back up, your skin is not too pale anymore, looks like you’re getting the perfect amount of vitamin D. Your weight is still lower than I would like, but still better than before. I noticed that your muscles in your legs are coming back, you’re not doing anything too strenuous on your body, are you?”

 

“No, don’t worry,” Izaya promised gently, though the notepad on his phone didn’t convey that. “I take at least one or two walks every day with Ai. She’s a dog, and not even a year old, and I just want to stay in shape and be as fit as I can, and this seemed to work for both of us, and it’s very relaxing and fun!”

 

“Smart,” Nowaki quipped teasingly,”I approve”

 

Walking out, they continued to chatter, Ai trotting dutifully by Izaya’s side. “So, how long will you thee be staying in Japan?” Nowaki asked, letting Izaya stop so he could respond.

 

“About three months. Ayase’s board want him to get started on the fall fashion and choose what outfits to bring back, Tsukimi is setting up a book signing, and I have a gallery coming up in Hokkaido. We’re planning to leave for Christmas,” Izaya explained.

 

“Oh! Where ar eyou going for the holidays?” He asked curiously, and Izaya was going to respond, when there was a chorus of excited squeals. This caused Nowaki and Ai to turn in the direction of the noise, and for Izaya attention followed Nowaki’s at Ai’s nudge, turning to see what they were staring at.

 

It was then that Nowaki realized that they were stopped in front of the children’s playplace here at the hospital.. With a dog. The children had not only seen Dr. Nowaki, whom was one of their favorite doctors, but also a man with an adorable dog.

 

Several small children ran their way, some going to touch the dog and others chattering excitedly at the two men. Izaya instantly looked overwhelmed. Noticing this, Nowki exclaimed,”Children! Please calm down, and don’t pet the dog. Please don’t talk ll at once, Izaya is deaf, he can’t understand you when you all are talking at once”

 

One bald little boy looked at Izaya in confusion, before looking back at Nowaki. “What does deaf mean, Dr. Nowaki?” He asked.

 

Nowaki smiled gently. “Deaf means that his ears.. Don’t work anymore, so he can’t hear anything,” He explained.

 

“Ooh..” The children whispered, as a little girl with a nasal oxygen system asked,”Then how does he know what we’re saying?”

 

Nowaki noticed Izaya’s discomfort from being referred to in the third person, and so he directed a hand to the man. “Well, he’s right here, why don’t you ask Izaya yourself, Jiji?” He gently suggested to the child.

 

The child blushed, looking at the young man and softly asked,”Excuse me for asking sir, how do you know what we’re saying if you can’t hear? How do you talk back?”

 

Izaya smiled, deciding to indulge the curious children. Turning on the text to speech on his tablet, he replied,”I can read lips, so even though I can’t hear what you’re saying, I can tell what words you speak by how your lips move. If people don’t know sign language, I usually talk to them through my tablet, like I am with you now”

 

“What’s sign language?” Another little girl asked curiously, her one eye staring at him with curiosity as well.

 

Izaya then smiled, before he brought his hands up and signed in a quick, yet precise manner. _“This is sign language, it’s talking with your hands,”_ He explained. All the children’s eyes were wide with amazement, and they seemed frozen in shock.

 

“That’s so cool!” The bald boy from before excitedly exclaimed,”You’re so cool! Can you please teach us how to do that? Pretty please??”

 

He clasped his hands together, giving a puppy dog look. The other children followed in suit, giving a hopeful gaze.

 

Izaya saw himself in these children, their misery was obvious, and they wanted to have excitement in their lives, what was left of them anyways. They reminded Izaya too much of what he was like while in the hospital. So, he nodded. “Of course,” The tablet answered,”Though it may take a while, so I may have to visit every day or so”

 

The children looked so excited, Izaya’s heart soared. “Yay! He’s gonna visit! Izaya’s gonna visit us!” The children exclaimed happily. Izaya smiled at them, as Nowaki calmed the children down.

 

“Alright everyone, it’s about time for lunch. I’m sure that Izaya needs to go home and eat lunch too, he’ll be back tomorrow, okay?” The large doctor promised, and Izaya made sure to nod in agreement to his words.

 

The kids all listened, walking away with their nurses and waving goodbye to them as they left. Izaya watched them go with gentle, red eyes and a soft smile on his face. Nowaki was next to him, and Izaya noticed something. Once the children left, his smile was gone, his face was.. Sad.

 

“Sweet little ones, aren’t they?” The young doctor said softly, to which Izaya nodded slowly, unsure of what Nowaki was leading to. Nowaki then sighed. “It’s upsetting, knowing most of these poor kids probably won’t make it to next year..”

 

Izaya frowned sadly, feeling his heartstrings being twisted together painfully. He looked at Nowaki, lowering the volume on his tablet before asking,”Why? Are their illnesses and injuries really that bad?”

 

“Some of them are..” Nowaki admitted,”Others aren’t. Most of the time, a family doesn’t have the insurance or the money to get the needed treatment, or the illnesses these kids have can only be slowed. We don’t have a full cure yet, sometimes we don’t have enough money to keep searching for one.. It’s heartbreaking sometimes, you know? Seeing the parent’s faces, and the children slowly realizing that.. They’ll probably never get to go to school again.. See their friends.. Go outside..”

 

Nowaki sniffed, wiping his eyes before turning and flashing a pathetically fake smile at Izaya. “Thank you for making that promise, Izaya. They don’t get a lot of visitors.. Even family doesn’t visit a lot for them.. I would say that you have no idea how much it means to them.. But you do, don’t you? You’re probably one of the only people who understands..”

 

Izaya nodded grimly, unable to look away. Nowaki then softly said,”See you tomorrow, okay?” Izaya nodded again, watching the doctor walk away.

 

There was a sudden, strange new realization that filled Izaya as he walked out. Now that he wasn’t wallowing in his own pain, he saw it, he saw it all. Around him, all the people here who would probably never leave. They didn’t get lucky like Izaya, they didn’t have the same resources. They had given up. Izaya didn’t like it. After everything that he went through.. He didn’t want anyone else to go through it either.

 

No, he wasn’t just going to visit these kids, not at all. He was going to do so much more than that.

 

– – – – – – –

 

Ayase and Tsukimi were waiting for him at the house when he came back. _“Hey! How did it go?”_ Ayase signed happily, before noticing the look on Izaya’s face. It was hard to read.. But Izaya seemed angry.. But determined. Ayase frowned nervously, before slowly signing, _”Everything.. Okay?”_

 

“Ayase..” Izaya began awkwardly, before clenching his fists, and then signing,”If I wanted to do something, even if it seemed a little far fetched, would you hear me out before making a decision?”

 

Ayase and Tsukimi exchanged a look of confusion. _“Of course we would Izaya, you know we will. What is it that you want to do?”_ Tsukimi asked.

 

 _“_ _I want..”_ Izaya signed, suddenly growing nervous. _“I want… I want to make a fundraising association!”_

 

Ayase raised his eyebrows. _“A fundraising association?”_ He asked, _”What brought this on? Did somebody say something?”_

 

 _“_ _No, no, it’s just.. I just.. I met the kids while I was there, and I saw the people around me. They reminded me of.. Me, of Tsukimi, and of you.. Back when we all lost our hope. They were like that, but they didn’t have anyone to intervene, or to help..”_ Izaya signed gently, _”I want to help, Ayase. It’s the least I can do after surviving my own ordeal. I was selfish in life before, I want to give back. I want to help”_

 

Ayase and Tsukimi were shocked, but they understood. All three of them went through their pain, and fought to recover after getting hope back. Neither of them had thought about something like that before. Noticing Izaya’s nervous expression, Tsukimi quickly exclaimed, _”That’s an amazing idea, Izaya, I love it! Imagine how many people we can help, how we can help and things we might be able to fund-”_

 

“But what about the money?” Ayase questioned,”We can’t just donate our own, we’re all famous now. We’ll look selfish or arrogant.. What could we do?”  


Izaya frowned, realizing Ayase had a point. He reached up, tugging on his white bangs in thought. Then, he gasped, snapping his finger. _“I know!”_ He signed, _”Parties!”_

 

“Parties?” Tsukimi and Ayase asked aloud, in unison.

 

 _“_ _Yes!”_ Izaya exclaimed, eyes excited. _“Imagine it, we set up a private party, invite companies, clubs, other associations, I can auction my art, we can set up a donation area.. And make money that way!”_

 

The two others stared, eyes filling with awe as well. “That.. That could work!” Ayase stuttered out, slowly growing more excited. “Yeah! It could.. It would! We can do it!”

 

Izaya squealed happily, stumbling a bit as he stood. He smiled, taking Ayase’s hand in his, while Tsukimi took Ayase’s hand. Ai sat in the middle of them, her tail wagging happily. They could do this, they’d do it together. Just like they always had. Just like they always will.

 

– – – – – –

 

They got started right away. Izaya would visit the hospital every day still, helping the children. All three of them still had their jobs, but all managed to find a way to fit it into their schedule. Banba got involved, and helped them pull in some people for the party.

 

They tried to hide it at first, but word got out. Several other associations and companies asked to come, most of which they agreed to. Of course, fans asked to come, but they decided that the first party is purely professional. Especially since a lot of people were calling this fundraising party foolish, and they needed to prove them wrong.

 

But now they needed a name. They didn’t have one, how would they label themselves in the community if they didn’t have a name?

 

Izaya was the one to come up with it. Fitting, since he came up with the idea for their association in the first place. He thought about it for a long time, it had to be perfect, a simple word before two others that conveyed some of their ideas. That’s when it hit him.. The perfect name, that fit with all their pasts so well. It was Kintsugi.

 

They were the Kintsugi Funding Association, because the cracks in their lives had now been filled with gold, all thanks to the simple fact they had each other.

 

Now, they were going to help other people.

 

– – – – – – –

It was finally the day.

 

It was December twentieth.

 

It was the day of the party.

 

Inside the front of the not too fancy building, the four members of the KFA stood. Ayase was wearing a simple blue dress shirt with black pants, a yellow bow tie around his neck, currently hidden by the black scarf around his face, his sandy brown hair hanging down to his shoulder. Tsukimi was wearing a simple, yet elegant red dress, her hair in it’s naturally curly state. Banba was wearing brown dress with a gray cardigan over it, which seemed to fit well in her aged state. Ai had a red bow on top of her head, along with her service dog vest. Izaya himself was wearing a black turtleneck sweater with a white coat with large buttons over it, black tight fitting pants, and dress shoes. His white hair was in a low ponytail, with his bangs sweeping over his face.

 

They greeted the guests, giving them their passes. Then they split up, striking conversations and talking about their plans for the money they got. Izaya and Tsukimi stuck to smaller groups, while Ayase used his boisterous attitude on some of the more influential guests.

 

The party was almost over now, well into the night. They’d gotten a bunch of donations, but they felt like they could get more. And they still needed a closing speech to their guests, they did not want them to leave annoyed.

 

 _“_ _I’ll do it,”_ Izaya declared, much to the panic of his friends. Ayase tapped his shoulder, gaining Izaya’s attention before he worriedly asked _,”Are you sure?”_ His eyes were filled with concern, but Izaya wasn’t backing down.

 

Nodding, the dove softly replied, _”Yes, I want to. Besides, you can be my interpreter”_ Ayase smiled, nodding firmly, purple eyes sparkling.

 

Banba announced their arrival, declaring,”And now for the parting speech from one of the KFA founders, Delic!”

 

The crowd clapped, though Izaya could not hear it. He suddenly felt nervous, seeing all those faces. He faltered for a moment, standing on the front of the stage behind the podium. As he handed Ayase the microphone, the other male nodded, determined. Izaya suddenly felt courage.

 

Izaya took one look at the crowd again, before closing his eyes, opening them, and beginning to sign. Instantly, Ayase began to translate.

 

“I want to thank you all for coming out tonight, and donating to our cause. It means so much to us, more than you could ever know. We’re going to be helping out the community, helping out people who have nothing else to believe in

 

I wish I could say I always was this person you see before me. But the person I was all those years ago would have never even looked my way, I look back on my old self with disgust. But, through my illness, I gave up hope, but I lived again. I’ve felt as close to death than I ever had, and I never want anyone else to go through that..

 

Despite all this, I still had help through it all. My friends, the ones with me tonight. They helped me more than they know, when I was just wanting to die instead of give the research for a cure for what I had as a test. The others in the hospital, most of them had no one. They need someone, and if we, the KFA, have to be that person, then by god will we.

 

The KFA will continue these parties, we will continue fighting to help these people, help find cures. Don’t think that we want to do this for ourselves, to heal our own issues in spirit. I would let myself go blind as well before I ever do something like that again. My disability does not make me any different, We are doing this to help people, and you have just given us an opportunity to do more. I thank your for that, for helping us help those that were once in our situation, you are all heroes tonight, and I hope that in the future, you will keep being a hero, not just for the KFA, but for anyone who needs one. Thank you.”

 

The crowd erupted in cheers, as several others went back and donated once more. The hall was soon empty. The first party was a success, and as the beginning of many many more. Izaya saw in that moment, just how much people banding together could accomplish. They had done it, they had helped, they raised so much money, and it was all going towards a good cause.

 

They raised just under half a billion yen, their influence helped a lot, amazing for a first turn out

 

Izaya smiled, looking at his friends, tears in his eyes. He never knew that helping people could feel so right. Izaya sniffed, feeling the happiness in his chest, as he buried himself in Ayase’s arms, hugging him tightly. Tsukimi and Banba joined the hug, not even trying to stop the tears of joy. This truly was their greatest achievement.

 

– – – – – –

_**December 25 th** _

__**Rovaniemi, Finland** _ _

– – – – – –

They spent their Christmas together, having spent the last few days before hand sending the money to chosen charities. It was in the news, thanking them, calling them heroes. They firmly denied that, they were truly just people with a voice that wanted to give back, which only sent the news further. Oh well, they weren’t doing anything right now. It was time for their break.

 

They were staying in Ayase’s medium sized cabin home, a home that he bought after learning of his European heritage on his mom’s side, and wanting a way to be close to it. The snow was perfect outside, matching perfectly with their tree, which still had wrapper underneath it.

 

Now, together they sat on the couch, in front of the first with a blanket draped over their legs. Ai lied by the fire, wearing her new Christmas sweater which read ‘Happy Howlidays’, while the other three were still in their pajamas, hot chocolate in their hands. They leaned against each other, just relaxing.

 

Izaya smiled as he looked at the dying fire, which still managed to look beautiful even when it as more ash than flame. The dove sighed happily, looking out the window at the snow, before turning to stare at his friends and dog. Ayase and Tsukimi had fallen back asleep, and Izaya was not far behind them. Leaning against Ayase, Izaya sighed in relaxation, eyes closing as he fell into a deep slumber as well. With the people who were not only his friends, but his family, life was so amazing.

 

It was so tranquil, so peaceful, so happy, and he knew wouldn’t trade this life now for anything in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed!
> 
> Next Chapter: Izaya is romanced, and more of Ayase, Tsukimi, and Izaya together


	5. Flying High

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I want to warn everyone ahead of time that this story (at least for a while) will be OC/Izaya. It’s all for the plot. So please don’t get angry and stop reading because of this, it’s all part of the plan ;-;
> 
>  
> 
> This chapter will focus on Ayase and Tsukimi’s relationship, as well as Izaya and the OC, so please don’t be mad.
> 
>  
> 
> Enjoy~! (And please don’t stop reading ;-;)

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

Paris, France

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

Ayase and Tsukimi were at the door, while Izaya sat on the couch nearby. They stared at him with slight concern, even though there was nothing they had to be concerned about. Ayase messed with his brown cardigan and the white button up underneath it, then tugging on his pants. Tsukimi was next to him, wearing a pretty red, ruffled dress with a white color, puffy sleeves and red bows on them.  _ “You don’t mind us going out without you?”  _ Tsukimi asked for the 50th time that night.

 

Izaya rolled his eyes playfully, before he replied,” _ Guys, go have fun on your date, it’s your time together, enjoy it! I’ll be fine, I have Ai with me, I’m going to take a walk, see the scenery.”  _

 

Ayase and Tsukimi still seemed a bit nervous, but Izaya smiled again. He pushed Ayase’s shoulder gently. _ “I have your numbers if I need anything, you know that,” _ He told them, _ ”Hurry up, or you’ll miss your reservations!” _

 

       “Okay, okay!” Ayase exclaimed aloud, chuckling at his friend's insistence. _ “We’ll be back late, don't wait up for us,”  _ He declared, to which Izaya nodded firmly. 

 

      The couple left soon after that, heading off to their date. Izaya was very happy they were finally acting on their feelings, only took them the better part of a year. They were finally dating, they actually had been dating for a few months already, and they were happy. Izaya didn't mind being on his own while they were out, he knew they were having fun. 

 

       He knew it was nice and cold out there, so he decided to bundle up. He put on some black pants, with his navy blue duffle jacket, a matching beanie on his head, and a red scarf. He put Ai’s vest on, and they left the hotel like their companions. 

 

      Izaya looked around the city, in awe of it’s beauty. It just seemed to have some kind of strange, certain charm to it. It was nice, especially with the snow falling all around them.

 

       The dove and his dog walked down the streets, enjoying the sights and cutting through to get to a park. The street lights were illuminated, the benches and trees were blanketed with the still-falling snow. 

 

      Though Christmas had come and gone, he could still see the colorful lights in his vision, showing off the beauty of the night. Izaya looked up at the sky, the snow tickling his nose and turning his cheeks a rosy pink color. 

 

       In the middle of the park was a lake, now completely frozen over. In the morning and afternoon, many people had been skating on it, and having fun. However, as night fell, the people went home. But through the snow, he saw something moving.. Was someone still there? 

 

     Moving closer, he saw one person on the ice, someone who caught his attention and made him stop, then turn towards the pond to get a closer look. 

 

      The young man on the ice didn't seem to notice him, he simply kept skating. But Izaya found himself suddenly, completely captivated.

 

       His wavy, pale blonde hair flowed with him, his chocolate brown eyes open, but seeming to be focusing on his skating. He moved with such grace and nimbleness, it reminded Izaya of himself.. Before he got sick.

 

        The blonde jumped in the air, twirling a total of three times before gracefully landing on the ice once more. It was in this moment that he realized he was being watched. He stopped, and turned to face Izaya. Both found themselves unable to look away, captivated by each other, but neither of them seemed to know how to respond to the other’s attention. 

 

          The other man decided to take initiative, and began skating forward. Izaya’s nerves suddenly acted up, and he tried to back up. However, his feet had found their way onto the edge of the ice during the small trace. Izaya could only cry out in surprise as he slipped, falling on his behind and sliding on the ice slightly. 

 

        The blonde was suddenly much closer than Izaya expected him to be when he looked up, causing the dove to jump in surprise. The blonde gave a slight chuckle, he said something aloud, and held out his hand. Izaya couldn’t lip read English, but he realized the offering.

 

       He reached out, taking the offered hand. But as he stood, his feet slipped against the ice again, making his slip forward this time, and fall into the blonde’s chest. The blonde nearly fell over as well, but caught himself in time. Izaya felt the chuckle against his chest, as he brought them over to the snow covered ground.

 

         The blonde spoke to him in English again, and Izaya frowned. He had been trying to learn how to lip read English, but it was harder when it wasn’t a language he spoke everyday. So he tilted his head, only getting a few words out of the sentence, such as ‘okay’ and ‘you’re’. 

 

The man stared at him, and spoke again, this time in Japanese. “Do you speak Japanese?” He asked, making Izaya blink in surprise. He quickly went to nod, but then frowned and shrugged. Before pointing to his ears. The man’s chocolate brown eyes filled with confusion for a moment, before he asked,”You’re deaf?”

 

Izaya nodded, and then pulled out his phone and typed out something. He then held it out to the young man. “I’ve been deaf for about 2 years now,” He explained, pulling the phone back after writing it and then wrote again,”My name is Orihara Izaya, what’s yours?”

 

The blonde read it and then smiled. “My name is Dubois Susumu,” He said, the chuckled,”I know, kind of a weird combination. My father is French and my mother is Japanese. So, are you here for a vacation?”

 

Izaya smiled and shook his head. For some reason, his heart was beating and he felt giddy as he responded,”I’m actually here for an art gallery and my friend’s fashion show,” He explained. 

 

Susumu stared for a moment, before his eyes widened. “Holy shit! Y-you’re Delic! The artist Delic!” He exclaimed, grabbing his blonde hair. “I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you! I mean, how many white haired Japanese men are there running around? I love your paintings!”

 

Izaya blushed even more, and shrugged. He didn't really think his paintings were as impressive as some of the critics claimed them to be. But then again, self esteem wasn't his strong point recently. But the man was so excited, Izaya couldn't find it in him to admit this 

 

      The pale blonde looked down at his skates, shuffling them for a minute, before jerking his head up and talking so fast that Izaya honestly didn't catch what he said. The dove frowned, tilting his head. Susumu then realized why Izaya was looking confused, and then blushed, as he slowly asked,”Would.. Would you like to get hot chocolate with me?”

 

       Izaya noticed the blush, he seemed nervous, but the deaf young man still smiled and nodded. Susumu grinned happily, grabbing Izaya’s hand and walking over to one the bench. He sat down, switching into normal shoes, before saying,”Follow me, I know the best cafe in town!”

 

Izaya giggled, suddenly feeling excited. He grabbed Ai’s leash, and followed after him. He didn’t understand the feeling growing in his chest, his heart was beating quickly, but not in a painful way.. What did it all mean?

 

Susumu brought him to a cafe that was very rustic-looking, and had a warm feel surrounding it. They walked inside, thankful to be out of the cold weather. Both of them removed their coats and scarves, showing Susumu’s green long sleeved shirt and Izaya’s black and white striped long sleeved shirt. 

 

Susumu took Izaya, leading him over to a table, and setting him down. The pale blonde went back to the baristas to order the hot chocolates, while Ai moved to lie down at his side. Izaya looked down at his hands, feeling suddenly nervous. It had been a while since he had been alone with someone who didn’t know sign language. He could lip read, but signing was so much easier. He found that lip reading too long gave him very bad headaches, because of how much concentration he had to put into it. 

 

He saw the cup placed in front of him, along with a smaller cup. Izaya smiled at him, recognizing the smaller cup as those dog ‘coffees’ that they made to give as a treat to your dog every now and then. Izaya took it in his gentle hand, placing it in front of the labradoodle. She wagged her tail, ears raising as she dug into the treat.

 

Izaya turned up to his own drink, holding it in his hands, and allowing himself to feel it’s warmth on his hands. He brought it up to his soft lips, allowing the sweet taste to cover his tongue, flavor exploding in his mouth. He happily set it down, and without thinking, signed _ ,”Thank you” _ to the blonde across from him. 

 

Susumu tilted his head, brown eyes confused. “What does that mean?” He asked curiously, and then Izaya blushed. Shit, he’d forgotten.  _ Wasn’t that what I was just thinking about? Jeez, why am I so worked up?  _ He thought, he trembling hands grabbing his phone from his pocket.

 

“It means thank you,” Izaya explained,”I was thanking you for the drink, I love sweets!” 

 

Susumu then chuckled, sipping his own drink. “I think I read something about that, I think it was some news outlet that brought up the fact that anywhere you go, you’re always eating sweets,” He explained,”They claimed it was you battling depression, or that the only way you could still be skinny was because you had an eating disorder of some kind.”

 

Izaya frowned, looking at Susumu in surprise. “Really?” He typed,”What kind of claim is that? I just exercise the best I can, and my tendency to get colds often doesn’t help. I’d actually enjoy gaining weight, at least a little. So I don’t look like a skeleton.”

 

“You don’t look like a skeleton,” Susumu abdomished, looking shocked at the comparison,”Skeletons don’t have really pale skin or white hair, you’re like a skinny ghost!”

 

The man froze, and then slapped his forehead. “That doesn’t sound any better in retrospect,” He admitted, a blush crawling on his face again. Izaya brought his own hand to his mouth, giggling at the pale blonde’s embarrassment. 

 

Looking at him while he laughed, Susumu then declared,”B-but you’re a very cute ghost! You are very adorable!”

 

“Are you sure that’s a compliment to another man?” Izaya curiously typed, trying to hide his own blush on his pale face. “I’m sure plenty of men would find being called ‘cute’ and ‘adorable’ revolting.”

 

Susumu’s pink, handsome lips, pulled themselves into a flirtatious smirk. “And yet you seem to be blushing, little artist, so what does that tell me?” He purred out in a luscious tone. 

 

Izaya felt the heat on his cheeks grow more prominent, realizing the blonde was correct. He felt like if he blushed any worse, he may begin to steam from his ears. The dove quickly turned to the side, grabbing his drink and gulping down some of the sweet drink to try and avoid the question.

 

Turning back, he saw Susumu had quite the same blush as him, smiling gently. Izaya smiled back, feeling the warmth between them. He didn’t know what this fluttering feeling was in his chest, but he didn’t want it to go away.

 

They talked for a while longer. He learned that Susumu was a professional skater, and competed around the world. Izaya felt kind of bad for not knowing him, but he also wasn’t a very sporty person. Whenever Tsukimi watched gymnastics the subtitles were always very hard to follow, sometimes slowly appearing and other times flooding the screen.

 

However, he didn’t really mind that. His conversation with Susumu was the best one he’d ever had with a hearing person outside of his own group of three friends. The blonde was so patient when Izaya was typing his word, he never talked too fast, and he never turned his head away while he was talking. It was nice, he really loved it. He loved it so much that he invited Susumu to his art gallery in a few days, he just really wanted to see him again.

 

“I’ll be there, for sure,” Susumu told him, winking slightly and declaring,”We’ll count it as a second date, okay?” 

 

Izaya couldn’t help the blush that crawled over his face, but he didn’t deny the feelings he felt in his heart. He liked the thought of it counting as a second date, he hoped that there would be many more to come.

 

He then held out his hand, and declared,”Come on, I’ll walk you back to where you’re staying, my little ghost.”

 

That was a strange nickname, but it still was better than a lot of other nicknames he’s gotten over the years. So he nodded, grabbing Ai’s leash with his other hand. They walked together, hand in hand. Unlike in Japan, nobody really gawked at them. It was more like people cooed at them. Even though most of them were speaking either French or English, Izaya could guess what they were saying, and it made him blush even worse. 

 

Finally, they reached the hotel. Susumu walked him to the front of the hotel, and then said,”I’ll see you at the gallery, Orihara-kun.” He brought left Izaya’s hand, the one he had been holding, up, kissing his hand gently. The blonde then waved goodbye, and walked off down the street, and out of sight.

 

Izaya blushed again, holding his hand with his other hand. He’d never felt this way about anyone before.. Even back when he claimed to ‘love’ all humans it hadn’t felt like this. He let out a soft giggle, smiling down at his hand. He liked these feelings.. He liked feeling human.

 

Someone suddenly tapped his shoulder, and Izaya lifted his head before turning around. Standing behind him was Ayase and Tsukimi, both of them wearing the biggest shit eating grins on their faces. 

 

_ “So,” _ Tsukimi began, _ ”Did you have fun without us tonight? Who was that~?” _ Izaya felt his face flush once more, as he quickly signed back,” _ I know what you’re thinking, and stop thinking it! We didn’t even do anything!! We just had a hot chocolate together! _ ”

 

“Oh? Sounds like something to me~” Ayase said aloud, smirking as he took Izaya’s hands and placed them against his chest. “Is our little Izzy falling in love?”

 

Izaya blushed even worse, a small grin crawling up his face as he shrugged a little bit. Maybe he did, maybe he didn’t.. It was too early to tell.. But maybe..

 

Izaya shook it off, deciding not to think about it too much. He’d see Susumu in a few days, he could figure out everything then. In fact, he actually couldn’t wait! In the meantime though..

 

Turning his red eyes back to his friends as they walked into the hotel, he smirked, and signed,” _ So, how was your guys’ date? _ ”

 

Watching them instantly begin to blush and sputter was his own personal revenge, and totally worth the embarrassment that they had caused him earlier. 

 

\-- -- -- -- -- -- 

3 Days Later

Izaya’s Art Gallery

\-- -- -- -- -- -- 

Izaya nervously shuffled his feet, messing with the obi of his yukata. He was wearing a white kimono, the sleeves and bottoms of the white was a light blue trim, the obi and the haneri and robe underneath it were a navy blue color. His white hair was braided and over his left shoulder, reaching his upper chest. He was looking around quietly, petting Ai’s head, and wondering where Susumu could be. 

 

The gallery had been going for about an hour now, and Izaya was against a wall near one of his favorite paintings, drinking the tea that was being passed out. Ayase and Tsukimi were somewhere, probably helping talk about the paintings. A lot of the people here weren’t as patient as they could be when he was trying to explain things, even when Ayase or Tsukimi tried to interpret for him.. It was giving him a headache..

 

He closed his eyes, letting out a gentle sigh. As he did, an arm suddenly want around his shoulder, making him open his eyes in surprise. Turning to look, he saw Susumu standing next to him. Izaya smiled, waving at him. 

 

Susumu smiled back, and then brought his hands up _. “Hi! How have you been?” _ He asked in sign language, making Izaya’s eyes widen. Susumu smiled at his reaction, and then signed, _ ”I’ve been eating.” _

 

Izaya blinked in confusion, before realizing he mixed up his sign. He shook his head, and then signed _ ,”Learning” _ and Susumu blinked, before opening his mouth in what was probably an ‘oh’ noise. It made Izaya giggle, before he pulled out his phone. 

 

“I was worried you weren’t going to make it,” He admitted, and Susumu gave another gentle grin. 

 

“Oh?” He asked,”Why wouldn’t I have? I really wanted to see my little ghost again.”

 

Izaya found himself blushing again, as Susumu turned to look at the painting they were standing by. Izaya already knew which one it was, it was the painting inspired by Celty. It was a dullahan riding down a slope, her scythe raised the night sky and casting a shadow on the moon. 

 

He didn’t know where the idea to paint it came from. Maybe it was the guilt of the last thing he had told her, or the realization of how correct her last statement towards him was. She had said that he was just as human as everyone else, and it took him almost a year to realize just how right she had been. 

 

He was just as, if not more, fragile than others, and just as human. Now that he knew this, he was thankful for his life. Though he wished he could turn back time and begin from the start, he knew that if this illness didn’t happen to him he wouldn’t have learned all this. He was so thankful for the second chance.

 

Susumu saw his soft smile, and lifted his chin so they were facing each other.  _ “It’s beautiful,”  _ He signed, _ ”Just like you.” _

 

The blonde wrapped his arm around Izaya’s shoulder, staring down at him affectionately. Izaya looked back up at him, his cheeks red. That’s when Izaya saw something else blonde out of the corner of his eyes. Turning his eyes, he saw Ayase peeking around the corner of the gallery and wiggling his eyebrows at Izaya. 

 

Eyes widening, the dove quickly pushed Susumu’s chest and moved him away. He then turned to Ayase and violently signed, _ ”Don’t make me come over there, Ayase!” _

 

Ayase merely gave him a very mischievous smirk, before coming around the corner with Tsukimi in tow. They moved so quickly, Izaya almost didn’t realize what they were doing until they swarmed him. Izaya jumped in surprise, walking around them to see that they were indeed interrogating Susumu. The few questions he caught included ‘what is your plan with our Izaya? Will you learn sign language?’ and ‘Do you have a successful career’ as well as ‘Do you have any STD’s’ Izaya was suddenly very thankful they were speaking Japanese.

 

Izaya’s eyes widened, and he created a slashing motion around his neck, with a pleading look. Susumu looked a little caught off guard and flustered, but then sighed in relief as he realized they weren’t trying to hurt him yet. Izaya couldn’t help but be nervous, he’d seen how flexible Ayase was, and how far Tsukimi could throw things. 

Susumu then bowed politely, and declared,”Don’t worry, I promise to love and protect Izaya no matter what, you have my word.”

 

Ayase and Tsukimi looked at him as he stood up straight, with his sincere eyes. Ayase then smiled and declared,”I like this guy.” 

 

Izaya then sighed, walking forward and signing, _ ”You guys are evil. Absolute devils.” _ Ayase and Tsukimi then looked at him innocently, acting like they didn’t know what they just did. Susumu’s shoulders shook with laughter, as he replied,”It’s no trouble, I expected it eventually. I wasn’t expecting it on the second date though.”

 

“How does this even count as a date, just asking?” Izaya asked curiously. Susumu read the question, and then shrugged a bit. 

 

“Well, on dates you do what one or the other like to do, and you like painting,” The male responded, a smile painting his face. Well, Izaya could seem to find a flaw in his logic, so the raven smiled and nodded.

 

The night was  _ almost  _ perfect. Izaya had several conversations with people, even from a few people who were willing to pay a lot of money to have him work with them, and he agreed to all of them. Especially because several of them were for good causes. 

 

But it was right around then that the night took a sour turn. A man, obviously of Japanese descent had walked over to him. Susumu had to leave the Gallery for a moment after getting a call from his manager, so the dove was standing by himself.

 

The man was looking at the art, but was walking towards Izaya. He slowed down when they made eye contact. Izaya smiled, waving a bit. “Hello!” He typed out on his phone,”How may I help you?”

 

The man read it slowly before scoffing, and crossing his arms. “I was sent by my boss to speak to you about a job offer,” He quickly declared, almost too fast for Izaya to keep up with. The man looked around at the paintings again, and said,”He seemed really hopeful that you would say yes, but I’m not sure what the excitement is about.”

 

Izaya’s smile fizzled away, tilting his head to the man’s angry attitude. What was this guy’s problem? “There is no reason for you to be the one we pick either, your art isn’t even that good. I truly think that he’s just taking pity on you, considering you can’t do anything productive with that problem of yours,” He seemed to sneer this.

 

Izaya knew there were judgemental people out there like this, he’d just been lucky enough to not run into any yet. Suddenly he felt all his nerves wrap into a knot, as he shakily brought his hands up, going to sign, pretty much forgetting about his phone. 

 

The man scoffed once more, and snapped,”See? You’re useful in society when people can’t even understand you, or do you think that the whole world will just bow to your needs and learn how to understand you? It’s people like you we need to throw out on the streets and not help, let you die off like natural selection wants you to!”

 

Izaya knew trying to use his phone or his hands was a useless endeavor, especially as he began to shake with fear. He wrapped his arms around his chest, his hands clutching to his shoulders, and lowered his head. Ai tried to get in between him and Izaya, but the man ignored the dog. The man only got closer, but when Izaya couldn’t see him, he couldn’t see the disgusting, bigoted words, or his large, hunkering figure that seemed to tower over him.

 

Soon, people around them began to realize that the conversation took a violent turn. But nobody really knew what to do, until Ayase and Susumu came around the corner. As they did, their conversation instantly stopped at the sight. But their rage only increased as he saw the man’s hand snatch forward, grabbing Izaya’s kimono and yelling,”Are you even listening to me?!”

 

That was enough, they didn’t even wait to call security. Ayase walked forward, taking Izaya’s arm and yanking him away from the man, pulling him against his chest. Susumu noticed the man hesitated after Izaya was yanked away from him, and he took that moment to throw a punch straight in the man’s face. The man stumbled back, and Ayase transferred the shaking Izaya to Susumu’s arms. He then turned to the man, and declared,”Get out of here before I call the fucking police.”

 

The man froze up, his hand going to his bloody nose. He then quickly left the gallery, ignoring the whispers and glares he was getting. Ayase watched him go, and grumbled,”Asshole..”

 

The crossdresser than turned to Izaya and signed, _ ”Are you okay?”  _ He knew when Izaya was shaken up, he couldn’t lip read well. Izaya nodded shakily, leaned into Susmu’s arms, shuddering slightly. The blonde man hugged him closer, before leading him out of the room.

 

Once they were in a different area, with Tsukimi, Ayase grew angry.  _ “That asshole! What was his problem?! I should have done more than punch him in the face!” _ He signed quickly, with rage.

 

_ “I’m going to call his company and tell them exactly what happened, none of us are going to be working for them anytime soon!”  _ Tsukimi signed in return, crossing her arms and nodding to make sure the two knew she meant business. 

 

Izaya looked between them for a moment, before quickly declaring, _ ”Guys, it’s okay, it’s over now, we don’t have to-” _

 

_ “Like hell it’s ‘okay’ Izaya! You were so scared, he was right in your face! I understand you don’t like confrontation anymore, but that was unacceptable!”  _ Ayase snapped, watching people file out as the gallery came.

 

“What are you guys saying?” Susumu asked in confusion, his hand carding through Izaya’s white locks,”Listen, I know that you guys are probably mad, but this isn’t going to help him.”

 

Ayase took a moment to breathe out, calming himself. “I know, but it’s important we know who did this.. I’m going to go talk to some of the people who saw it, can you take care of him for us? It’ll only be for a while, I know that Izaya doesn’t want us to do this, but I can’t let him get away with hurting someone who is like a brother to me,” He firmly explained.

 

Susumu’s eyes flashed with an emotion so quick, Ayase couldn’t catch it. But he then nodded, lifting Izaya up bridal style and carrying him out of the gallery. He knew just the place to take the panicking young man.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- -- 

 

It was a little while later that Izaya managed to calm himself enough to see where they were. Susumu had brought him back to the frozen lake, which made Izaya turn to him in confusion. The blonde smiled kindly, setting Izaya down on the bench nearby, and removing his coat jacket. He placed it around Izaya, and a few moments later, the pale blonde had his skates on. Oh yeah, he had been planning to go practice after the gallery.

 

Once his skates were back on, Susumu shuffled his way over to Izaya, sliding a hand under his knees, another below his arms as he lifted the man up. He slowly began to skate around the ice. He angled Izaya’s head up, and let him see the stars.

 

For some reason, the soft and gentle movements, combined with the view of the stars. It helped calm him down. He felt much better now. He had been so afraid before, but the sights around them. The white of the snow and the gentle promise in Susumu’s eyes was enough to make him feel so much better.

 

They stared at each other in silence for a moment. Before the both moved forward, and their lips connected. Sparks flew between them, as they melted into each other’s embrace.

 

Susumu had defended him, had actively wanted to talk to him. It was so strange for Izaya, but it made him so happy. Izaya knew in that moment what the feeling was.

 

It was love.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

Seven Months Later

\-- -- -- -- -- -- 

 

After that moment at the ice skating lake, life progressed quickly for everyone. Izaya and Susumu talked to each other and went out as much as they could, with the fact both of them traveled. He taught Izaya about skating, and Izaya taught him Japanese sign language. Whenever they were able to spend time together, Izaya would try new recipes, thankful for extra help. Susumu would bring his favorite movies or take him out, and they’d always cuddle together, Ai slumped in both their laps.Their relationship was growing strong, but they weren’t the only ones.

 

Ayase and Tsukimi had fallen completely in love with each other, and spent almost all their time together. It was extremely adorable, and Izaya felt very satisfied, knowing that they would end up together since they’d all become friends in the hospital.

 

Their dates were filled with smart, sassy banter. They’d go to musicals or read books together, draw together, or just relax. One of their favorite past times was to have Ayase crossdress and go out on dates like that. 

 

They bonded from their pasts and present, their personalities, and love for art.  Tsukimi may be insecure, but Ayase was strong. Ayase may go overboard sometimes, but Tsukimi was always there to pull him back to shore, they completely each other. They felt as if the red string of fate connected them, they loved each other dearly. And Ayase wanted to take the next step..

 

So he bought a ring.

 

Now here he was, pacing back and forth in their mansion, having come back to Japan. Izaya was standing in front of his easel, mixing colors, and occasionally glancing at Ayase. Ai watched him, her head tilted curiously. 

 

Ayase frowned, thankful that Tsukimi was out for a meeting on her manga. But that didn’t stop the fact that he had promised to take her out for a picnic during the festival. Izaya and Susumu were coming too, but near when the fireworks were supposed to begin, they would wander off and leave Ayase to propose in front of the fireworks.

 

“I just.. I don’t know what to do, Izaya,” He admitted, still pacing,”I mean, what if I’m moving too fast?” 

 

Ayase was about to snap when Izaya didn’t respond, turning around quickly. But then he realized that Izaya was facing away from him, his brush making gentle, relaxing strokes across the canvas. Ayase didn’t know what he was painting, but it managed to alm his panicking for a moment, maybe it was because it reminded him of Tsukimi when she was drawing.

 

He sighed, calming down a bit. He walked over to Izaya, tapping his shoulder. Izaya turned, his face had a few drops of paint on it, and it was all over his navy blue smock. He noticed Ayase’s worried purple eyes, and tilted his head. Ayase then brought his hands up, finally asking, _ ”What if she says no?”  _

 

In return, Izaya frowned in confusion, using his empty hand to reply, _ ”Why would she say no?” _

 

Ayase frowned, having to think about it for a moment. He then asked, _ ”What if I’m moving too fast? We’ve only been dating for a year..” _

 

_ “Yes, but we’ve known each other for another three, four years all together,”  _ Izaya reminded him, _ ”She loves you very much, you love her very much. I know you feel your affection for each other all throughout your heart and soul, you are perfect for each other. You have nothing to be afraid of, you have no reason to doubt yourself, I promise.” _

 

Ayase smiled at the raven, running a hand through his honey blonde hair, feeling his nerves dissipate. Izaya’s sincere eyes and smile helped him feel better, he knew Izaya would never lie to him. He believed Ayase could do it, and it made him feel much better. Now, he felt courage.

 

But the time still seemed to arrive too quick. Tsukimi and Banba returned from the meeting, and they were getting ready for the summer festival, though Banba left to go spend it with her husband. They said goodbye to her, and all got all dolled up quickly and excitedly, thinking about festival 

 

Izaya was dressed up in a more feminine styled, white kimono with a red haneri, the obi was a pink, the center of it a red stripe, the obijime and obidome were both white. His pure white hair was half up in a ponytail, with the rest of it down, his bangs swept over to one side. On top of his head was a crown made of pure red roses, weaved together and matching his eyes beautifully. 

 

Susumu’s kimono was a more masculine version. His haori jacket was light blue with a white robe underneath it, his hakama were the same blue color, with a white haori himo, and traditional tabi and zori. Attached to the side of his face was a nice blue kitsune mask.

 

Ayase himself was wearing a dark purple feminine kimono with a white lilac pattern on the sleeves. His obi was a white color, with a black obijime and obidome. His honey brown hair was in a ponytail, his bangs on both sides of his face, with a pair of brown bunny ears on a headband, purple bows on top of it. 

 

They all looked really nice and festive. But in Ayase’s eyes.. Oh, my gods, Tsukimi was so beautiful. She was shining so beautifully, Ayase was speechless when he saw her.

 

Her beautiful black bangs were swept on both sides, with her hair all gathered on the left side of her head in a ponytail. Her ponytail was styled into one large curly cue, and her dark eyes free of her glasses. There was blush and lipstick on her lips, her kimono was a mix of a light pink background with dark pink roses and green leaves. Her obi was black with a rose in the middle, and a gold pin holding her red obijime with a white trim. She glowed brightly among them, and Ayase felt his heart speed up. She was so beautiful.

 

He felt his courage grow more.

 

He was so in love with her, he almost couldn’t wait.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

The festival was beautiful, with many different stands and games. There were dancers and people in costumes. Izaya and Susumu went off on their own pretty quick, Izaya leading Susumu excitedly by the hand around the food and games. Many girls stopped to watch the couple with giggles, before moving on.

 

Ayase watched them go, chuckling softly. Of course Izzy would dart straight for the food, he had the biggest appetite in the world. But.. Now it was just him and Tsukimi. He had a plan, just had to execute it. 

 

He and Tsukimi had a wonderful night, playing games and winning prizes for each other. At the end of the day, Tsukimi allowed Ayase to lead her up a hill, holding all their prizes. He took her out of the wheelchair, setting her on the grass. Together they sat, holding hands as the fireworks went off. 

 

Through the loud popping noises and bright colors, Tsukimi smiled and said,”It’s all so beautiful! I wish that we could stay like this forever.”

 

Ayase saw his chance. Taking Tsukimi’s hands in his, he declared,”This feeling right now, Tsukimi.. It’s how I feel for you all the time. Even a glance at you sends fireworks through me, my heart explodes with happiness.. I want to always share this feeling with you.. I want to always be with you” His hand went to his bag, pulling out a small velvet box. Tsukimi’s eyes widened, her hands going to her mouth as she realized what was happening. 

 

“Tsukimi.. The love of my life,” He finally whispered,”Will you marry me?”

 

Tsukimi’s eyes welled up with tears, as she threw her arms around him, and declared,”YES!” She took Ayase’s cheeks in her hands, and pulled him in for a kiss. Ayase kissed her right back, before pulling back and taking her hand. He then took the beautiful ruby engagement ring, and slid it on her finger.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Izaya and Susumu walked over. He turned, picking up Tsukimi bridal style, and turning to them. “She said yes!!” He exclaimed happily, eyes shining with happiness. Tsukimi laughed through her happy tears, holding out her hand with the ring.

 

Izaya gasped excitedly, jumping up and down.  _ “Congratulations!!”  _ He signed over and over again, running over and hugging them both, Susumu following in suit. Ayase felt tears swelling in his eyes, as he let out happy laughter.

 

The world was perfect.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- -- 

 

Izaya wished he could feel as happy as them..

 

Nothing was wrong with him, physically, but it was just the thoughts that seemed to be constantly running through his brain now. Ayase and Tsukimi were so happy, spending their time planning their wedding. Izaya was happy for them, he really was. But he felt so.. So.. Out of place.

 

He was just a straggler, living in the same home as a couple about to get married. He felt like he was just an inconvenience, a burden. They didn’t get to be alone because he was at their home with them all the time. A small part of himself pointed out that after everything they’ve been through together he really had nothing to be afraid of, but the insecurities continued to rear their ugly heads. 

 

He just didn’t want to be a burden on anyone, after everything that had happened. Ayase and Tsukimi were the only ones that helped him stay brave and courageous during his time in the hospital, they were his only friends.. If he burdened them in any way or lost them.. Then he would.

 

A hand on his shoulder made Izaya jump.

 

Looking up, he saw Susumu sitting across from him with a worried look. _ “You okay?” _ He signed. 

 

Izaya blushed, and then smiled, nodding gently. _ “Yeah,”  _ He signed back, _ ”I must have zoned out.” _

 

He looked back down at his plate of Sashimi, tapping his chopsticks against the plate. He and Susumu had been in a serious relationship the past seven months, and now they were out on another date. He couldn’t believe he zoned out again, it’d been happening a lot ever since Ayase and Tsukimi had gotten engaged. 

 

He looked back up, seeing Susumu still staring at him with worry.  _ “You don’t seem fine,”  _ The blonde replied, _ ”You know you can tell me anything, right?”  _ Once he finished signing, Susumu reached out and took Izaya’s paler hand, running his thumb over it.

 

Izaya nodded firmly. Yeah, he knew that. Susumu was someone he trusted completely, he’d never given him a reason not to. He pulled his hands away, and signed, _ ”It’s… It’s kind of stupid. It’s not important.” _

 

Susumu’s face went from worried to looking at him in  incredulity before firmly, and quickly signing, _ ”Everything about you is important to me, down to the tiniest drop of blood in your body. Now, tell me what’s wrong.” _

 

Izaya blushed, and finally he sighed, signing,”I feel like I’m invading on Ayase and Tsukimi now. They’re getting married, I feel like a freeloader, a third wheel.. I’m just in the way. I don’t want to always be invading their privacy, but I don’t want to be alone, especially after losing everything once. What can I do though? I don’t know the first place to look..”

 

Susumu stared at him silently, before smiling, and laughing a bit. “Is that it?” He asked aloud, giggling again. Izaya’s eyes widen, before his cheeks flushed pink with shame. Oh, so Susumu thought it was stupid too..

 

He felt a hand on his chin, and Susumu lifted his head up. The blonde smiled, and told him, _ ”Izaya, it’s not stupid. Ayase and Tsukimi care about you very deeply, they’d love you no matter what. Did you forget about how violently they interrogated me at the art gallery? Or the asshole Ayase punched? They don’t just see you as friends, they see you as family. They love you.” _

 

Izaya stared at him blankly, but slowly nodded. Susumu was right, he was worried over nothing. It made another flow of red shame climb up his cheeks, as he smiled and signed a quick thank you.

 

“But,” Susumu quickly signed, _ ”I can see where you’re coming from with the whole ‘in the way’ thing. I mean, that whole damn mansion can barely fit Ayase’s personality inside it. Even though I know they don’t mind in the least, if it really is bothering you, I have an idea to fix that.” _

 

Izaya tilted his head, white bangs sliding into his red eyes. He nodded, asking for his boyfriend to continue. Susumu then grinned widely and declared, _ ”Let’s move in together!” _

 

The dove blinked in surprise, feeling his heart speed up a bit. He tried to sign, but stumbled over his heads. Susumu then looked nervous, seeing Izaya’s mistake. “I mean, I know we haven’t even been dating for a year, but I feel like we’ve gotten very close and I would really love to be able to hold you in my arms every night and-” His lips began to move to fast after that, but judging by the blush he was too nervous to stop.

 

Izaya let a soft peal of laughters escape him, before picking up a piece sashimi and shoving it into Susumu’s mouth. The blonde froze in surprise, before looking over at Izaya and chewing slowly. He seemed to realize what had just transpired, a wave of embarrassment crashed over him, and he gave a sheepish smile.

 

Izaya smiled, and placed his chopsticks down.  _ “You don’t need to be nervous, Susumu,”  _ He promised _ ,”You know I’d love to, you know the answer is yes.” _

 

Susumu’s nervous face grew a relieved, happy smile. Izaya returned it, before going back to his food. He felt much better now, Susumu always knew how to cheer him up. The dove felt excitement coursing through him, he couldn’t help it. He loved Susumu, he couldn’t wait to move in together with him.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

One Month Later

\-- -- -- -- -- -- 

“Ayase!” Tsukimi whispered loudly, looking back at her fiance. “I really think it’s too early for a housewarming party, they’ve just moved in! It’s five in the morning, can you not wait any longer?!”

 

Ayase shook his head, and declared,”No, we need to do it soon! You know we’re almost done planning the wedding, soon we’ll be too busy to give them the ‘congrats’ they deserve!’

 

“Ayase, they moved in together, they’re not pregnant!” Tsukimi exclaimed,”And even if we won’t see them for a while on the honeymoon, we have all the time in the world!”

 

Ayase giggled, stopping the wheelchair at the stairs, and picking Tsukimi up in his arms. As he climbed up the stairs, he replied,”I know, Tsukimi, but I can’t help but be excited for more than one reason! And I’m not stupid, guys can’t get pregnant, I know that neither of them are. But.. I know someone who is~” He smiled, poking her stomach. 

 

Tsukimi felt a blush crawl up her cheek, as her arm went around her stomach. “Shh! I don’t want Susumu to hear, it’s supposed to be a surprise!” She whispered quickly. 

 

Ayase smiled and then nodded, getting up to one of the doors inside their friends’ penthouse. He managed to open it, and saw the large lump in the middle of the queen sized bed. He smiled mischievously, walking to the bed and setting Tsukimi on the side of the bed.

 

Creeping over, he sang,”Izzy~ Susu~ Wake up! We have something to tell you!!” He yanked up the blue, crescent moon patterned comforter up, tossing it away. He then turned back to face his friends, and screamed.

 

“AH! YOU GUYS ARE NAKED!” Ayase cried out in horror, making the previously asleep Susumu jerk awake, causing the dove he was spooning to jump awake as well. The blonde yanked the sheet up and over their nude bodies.

 

Tsukimi’s eyes were wide with a completely red face, as Susumu and Izaya stared at them with embarrassment. “Haven’t you ever heard of knocking!” Susumu finally exclaimed to the red faced Ayase.  

 

“I didn’t know you’d be doing.. Doing  _ that! _ ” Ayase exclaimed loudly.

 

”Well maybe, Ayase,i that’s why people _ fucking knock!! _ ”

 

Tsukimi and Izaya both watched at their significant others for a moment, then turned to look back at each other, and simply facepalmed.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

_ “Oh my goodness, congratulations you guys!” _

 

Izaya grinned widely at Tsukimi, who was sitting across from him on the couch with Ai at his side. Tsukimi smiled widely, and nodded at him, nursing the cup of tea against her chest, while Susumu was cooking eggs in a pan.  _ “I know! I’m so happy! We don’t know the gender yet, but I couldn’t help but be excited!” _ She said excitedly. 

 

The dove nodded in agreement, adjusting his blue pajama shirt and pants, before he replied, _ ”Let’s just hope they take after you more than Mr. Overdramatic over here.”  _ He motioned to Ayase, who was resting his head in Tsukimi’s lap, his messy hair covering his eyes. EVen though Izaya couldn’t hear anymore, he knew Ayase well enough to know that the fashion designer was releasing as many whiny noises as he could.

 

Tsukimi agreed, and then tapped Ayase. The man looked up at her, before blushing sheepishly and sitting up.  _ “Um, that’s actually not all we came here to tell you,” _ Ayase told Izaya, sitting up and shuffling a bit, seeming slightly nervous.

 

Izaya tilted his head, noticing their apprehension. Tsukimi looked at him, and then gave a reassuring smile.  _ “Sorry, I just didn’t know how to bring this up at first, but I know I don’t need to be scared,” _ She told him. 

 

Ayase smiled, and then finished her thought.  _ “Izaya, me and Tsukimi want you to be our child’s godfather.” _

 

Izaya’s eyes widened, his hands freezing up in surprise.  _ “Really?” _ He asked, his face lighting up with happiness as his two friends nodded. 

 

The dove excited exclaimed,” _ Yes yes yes! I’d love to so much!! Thank you guys! I promise I’ll be the best godfather ever!” _

 

He moved forward quickly, hugging the two of them and laughing happily. Ai barked excitedly, leaping off the couch and running over, licking their faces and covering them in slobber. The three friends laughed excitedly. They felt so happy, even as their lives changed around them, their bond grew stronger. They were a family, and nothing could ever change that.

 

Behind the exchange, Susumu watched with empty eyes. The eggs in front of him sizzled, crackling and hiding the noise of the new egg he crushed in his hand. Some of the yolk oozed out, as his knuckles grew white as he tightened his fist. Yet, the smile remained on his face the whole time.

 

However, nobody saw this.

  
  


\-- -- -- -- -- -- -- 

One Month Later

\-- -- -- -- -- -- 

 

“Groom, Koibuchi Ayase, you this woman marry and become her partner. 

Will you in peaceful times, during sickness, this person love, this person respect, this person comfort, this person help, until death, do you promise to fulfil?”

 

“Yes, I promise.”

 

Bride, Tomoko Tsukimi, you this man marry and become his partner. 

Will you in peaceful times, during sickness, this person love, this person respect, this person comfort, this person help, until death, do you promise to fulfil?

 

“Yes, I promise.”

 

They had already done the ring exchange, and the sake ceremony. Even though both of them knew that kissing wasn’t tradition in Japanese weddings, neither cared. They had already decided they would kiss. The priest knew this too. So, he nodded, and declared,”I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

 

Ayase smiled, and knelt down to kiss his bride. Tsukimi smiled, grabbing the hem of Ayase’s hakama, and pulling him into a deep kiss.

 

The group watching the wedding clapped and cheered, Izaya and Susumu in the front clapped along with everyone else, though Susumu wasn’t very enthusiastic.. They could see the happy tears in their eyes, and Izaya knew both Ayase and Tsukimi deserved every bit of happiness in the world. Seeing this marriage happen, it made everything even more perfect.

 

The reception came, and they skipped a few traditions. Banba was Tsukimi’s guest of honor, and gave her speech. Izaya, meanwhile, was Ayase’s best man and his guest of honor. When it was his turn to give his speech, and Ayase was his translator.

 

“I’ve known Ayase for five years now,” He began,”And the man is an amazing person. After losing so much, his heart has only grown bigger and stronger. He’s used his fortune to help people who were also lost, help them find their way back from the bottom of the pit of despair. People like me, and his wife Tsukimi. I don’t know where either of us would be without him. For all I know, without him, I may have chosen euthanasia.”

 

At this moment, Ayase stopped translating for a moment to softly whisper,”Oh Izaya..”

 

But Izaya continued, so Ayase did as well. “Seeing Ayase and Tsukimi this happy, after everything they’ve been through and all the good they’ve done for me and so many others, and the fact they’re still continuing to is amazing. They deserve all the happiness in the world, and I hope to watch both of them blossom even more together as years pass. Last, but not least, I just want to say, I totally called this.”

 

Lifting up his glass, Izaya declared,”Congratulations!”

 

Everyone in the reception raised their glasses as well, happily agreeing with Izaya. The reception then continued, Tsukimi and Ayase changing into better clothes as it went on. 

 

The cake was cut, both Ayase and Tsukimi making sure to smash their cake into each other’s faces. Food was passed out, and everyone dug in. Even Ai got food, including a dog-safe piece of wedding cake, and was cooed at by the waitress. Izaya knew they weren’t supposed to do that, but he had to admit, Ai did look pretty damn adorable in her dog sized kimono Ayase had made for her. 

 

After the rest of the food, there were gifts. As usual, there was money for a gift, as it was traditional. But Izaya had painted a special picture for them. It was the two of them, kneeling together in a lake of clear, glistening water under a shinto shrine structure and clear blue sky. Surrounding them were cranes of many colors and patterns, the birds that symbolize fortune and longevity. 

 

There was dancing, where Izaya watched as Tsukimi and and her old brother, Kuranosuka, took the first dance together. Then, Ayase and Tsukimi. Neither had parents to take the place of the usual tradition, but neither cared. All they needed was their friends and each other.

 

The festivities lasted long into the day and night, until it was time for everyone to leave, and the newlyweds to prepare for their honeymoon. Everyone gave their goodbyes, as Ayase and Tsukimi pulled everyone into suffocating hugs, before going off to their hotel room for that night.

 

It would be a few days later that Izaya and Susumu would be at their home. Early that morning, Izaya looked at his boyfriend and smiled. They watched the sunrise, leaning against each other, Ai spread over both their laps, and thinking about what the future would bring. In Izaya’s mind, he could see nothing except warmth and happiness ahead.

 

He wouldn’t change a thing.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

Nine Months Later

\-- -- -- -- -- 

 

Tsukimi and Ayase returned from their honeymoon about twenty days after the wedding, and everyone went back to the routine. In between the nine months, they even had another fundraiser party. Thankfully for all of them, they were in Japan at home when Tsukimi’s water broke.

 

That’s what brought them to the hospital, with a nurse rushing Tsukimi to a delivery room. Ayase, still in his pajamas, hair frazzled, jogged next to it. “It’s okay Tsuki! I’ll be here with you the whole time, don’t worry!” He promised.

 

“NO!” Tsukimi yelled,”YOU HAVE DONE ENOUGH! YOU DID THIS TO ME! I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU RIGHT NOW!”

 

The father to be froze up, purple eyes wide. But the nurse slowed for a moment, and quickly told him,”It’s okay, they always say that.” Before continuing to the room. 

 

Ayase still ended up in the room, holding Tsukimi’s hand and helping her through it all. Susumu, meanwhile, sat in a chair shaking his legs anxiously. Izaya, who left Ai at home, was pacing in front of him. 

 

It was several long, hard hours of labor later that Tsukimi gave birth to twins. A healthy baby girl and boy. The girl was named after Ayase’s grandmother, Karla, while the boy was given the name Kuranosuke after Tsukimi’s brother. The little girl had a tuft of blonde hair on her head and Tsukimi’s dark eyes, while the boy had Tsukimi’s black hair and Ayase’s purple eyes. To the two parents, they were perfect.

 

After the nurse took the babies to check them really quick,  Tsukimi sat back against her pillow and sighed happily. “I feel so happy right now,” She whispered softly, wiping tears from her eyes.

 

Seeing this, Ayase took her hand in his and smiled. “See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

 

Tsukimi’s eyes snapped open, as she turned to face Ayase. “Wasn’t so bad?” She repeated,” _ Wasn’t so bad?!” _

 

Ayase suddenly realized how much he had fucked up, as he pulled his hands away and backed up, but it was far too late. 

 

**_“WASN’T SO BAD?!?!”_ **

 

Outside the room, a nurse and Susumu stared at the door in fear, Izaya looking at the two in confusion, seeing them jump but not hearing why. Susumu brought his knees on the chair as he nervously turned to the nurse, asking,”Um.. Are you  _ sure _ that it’s safe to go in?”

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

The babies were able to go home 3 days later. Everyone was there. Tsukimi sat on the couch and relaxed. Izaya was holding Karla, and smiling at her. She stared up at him curiously, her little hand reaching out to grab his white hair. 

 

The gentle moment was broke as Kuranosuke broke out in a loud, shrill sob. Izaya saw the sudden movement, and saw his boyfriend struggling to hold the sobbing child. Izaya moved Karla quickly into Ayase’s arms, taking the baby from Susumu since Tsukimi couldn’t get up. Nobody noticed the dark glare that Susumu sent, or the clenching of his fists.

 

He rocked the little boy, who whimpered for a moment longer, before his purple eyes looking up at Izaya silently. Izaya gave a soft smile, trying to help reassure the baby. He then went on to do the same thing as his sibling, reaching out to grab at Izaya’s white hair.

 

Tsukimi watched, and chuckled. When Izaya looked back at them again, she said aloud,”Izaya, you’re a natural at this, aren’t you?” 

 

Izaya blushed, and shrugged a little, handing the child back to Tsukimi’s waiting arms.  _ “Maybe.. Or maybe they just like my hair,” _ Izaya denied.

 

Ayase shook his head. “No, Susumu’s hair is just as bright as yours, but they cry anytime he holds them!” He pointed out. 

 

To prove his point, he placed Karla back into Izaya’s lap. Izaya smiled again, and lifted her closer. This time, her hand seeked ownership of his finger. She squeezed it in her hand, and relaxed in Izaya’s arms. She closed her eyes, her breathing going deeper.

 

Izaya smiled, and looked down at the small, innocent child in his arms. She was perfect, they both were. So were their parents. Izaya knew, in that moment, he would do whatever he had to when it came to these children. He’d be the best godfather he could be. Maybe.. Maybe one day, he and Susumu would be able to adopt some kids one day.. That would make Izaya very happy.

 

But of course, he didn’t mind, it was okay. He’d just be happy with his life now, it was amazing already. There wasn’t any way it could get better, everything was good the way it was. Everyone was happy, that’s all Izaya needed, nothing would change that.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

Four Months Later

\-- -- -- -- -- 

 

Of course, Susumu found a way to prove him wrong.

 

In the worst way possible.

 

It was just a simple day, Izaya was at his easel painting. Ai was against the floor to ceiling window, probably enjoying the rain pouring on the balcony behind him and relaxing. It was only because of his dog’s head jerking up that Izaya realized someone was coming in.

 

The dove turned around, and saw a strange sight, Susumu angry. He threw his bag on the ground, before turning and kicking the metal door. Izaya frowned, placing his paintbrush down, and walking over to his boyfriend. 

 

He tapped his shoulder, and Susumu turned around quickly. He snapped,”What?!” Izaya frowned, Susumu was never a hostile person. What had him so worked up.

 

_ “What’s wrong?”  _ He signed. Susumu looked at him before scoffing and shaking his head. “It’s none of your business,” He snapped again, not even bothering to sign it. 

 

Izaya frowned, watching him storm over to the kitchen and pushing a few things off the table. What was making him so mad. Izaya stood in front of him. _ “We’ve been dating for two years, Susumu, I think it is my business!”  _ He firmly signed, before gently continuing, _ ”You can talk to me, you know that.” _

 

“No, I can’t!” Susumu snapped,”You don’t talk Izaya! You flail your hands around and expect everyone to understand you! It’s irritating! You wouldn’t be able to keep up anyways!”

 

Izaya felt pain stab through his heart. He’d heard it before, but this is from the fourth person who ever learned sign language for him.  _ “Yes I would! We can understand each other, and I never expect people to understand me, Susumu!”  _ He angrily signed, _ ”What is your problem! You never act like this!” _

 

_ “Well maybe I just don’t want to see my weakling of a boyfriend right now!” _ He hissed back, _ ”The one who can’t even run for three minutes without fainting and paints overrated pictures for fun!” _

 

Izaya frowned, growing angrier. _ “My paintings aren’t for fun! I pay most of our damn bills when you’re not in season or on an ad contract anyways! It’s my job!”  _ He pointed out.

 

_ “A job where you do nothing useful! You just make pictures for people to stare at and you give more money to that stupid fundraising committee of yours to help people who can’t even do anything right for society with their excuses ‘disabilities’! All of you are useless, I hate having to put up with this!” _ He was still yelling. But it was too fast for Izaya to understand.

 

Izaya stared up at him, red eyes filled with fear. _ “Why are you acting like this?!”  _ He tried to ask, but Susumu grabbed his hands and threw them down. It hurt, it made Izaya stumble. Izaya was pressed against the wall suddenly, as Susumu towered over him, yelling. But it was still too fast. Izaya’s breath was picking up, starting to panic.

 

Too fast, too fast, too fast, too fast- 

 

Why was Susumu doing this?

 

He reached out his hands to make him stop-

 

But then Susumu swung, hitting Izaya straight in the face and making his head slamming against the wall. Izaya’s eyes widened, his hand going to his bleeding nose. Susumu moved again, causing Izaya to cry out as he was knocked to the ground by a foot.

 

He knew he was too weak to defend himself, all he could do was curl up and hide. He peeked through his hands, seeing the man angrily glare down at him with angry brown eyes. But then he suddenly turned and stormed away. The door was slammed, Izaya could tell from the sudden shaking of the apartment. 

 

He looked over to see Ai galloping over to him. He uncurled, breathing hard as he hugged his dog. He felt tears tumbling down his cheeks. Izaya wanted to break out in tears. He didn’t understand, why did Susumu do that?! He’d never.. But now.. Why?!

 

All Izaya knew for sure was that he needed to leave, he didn’t want to see his boyfr- Susumu again. He didn’t even grab anything, except Ai’s leash and vest. He left as fast as he could, back to Ayase and Tsukimi.

 

They took him in right away, listening in shock.  _ “He hit you!!” _ Ayase signed in shock, as Tsukimi grew an angered look in her eyes.

 

Izaya nodded at Ayase’s words, sitting with a blanket around his body, which was wet from the rain. Ai had her own towel, but was more concerned with Izaya, and cuddled in his lap, nuzzling her curly face against him.

 

_ “I don’t know why he was so mad.. But then again he had been acting weird.. And angry sometimes..But he’s always calmed down whenever I would walk talk to him.. I don’t understand.. What did I do wrong?”  _ He signed sadly.

 

Tsukimi made a soft noise, and got up, thankful the children were taking a nap. She walked over to Izaya and hugged him tight. Then, she sat in front of him and firmly signed, _ ”You didn’t do anything wrong, that prick was hurt you for no reason. Nobody deserves that. You can find someone even better than him Izaya, you deserve someone better.” _

 

_ “And you can stay here as long as you need to. We’ll help you get your stuff out and cancel your lease on the apartment. You won’t ever have to see him again, _ ” Ayase promised.

 

Izaya smiled softly, looking between them. Even though he still thought it was sort of his fault, he nodded.  _ “You guys are amazing,” _ He told them _ ,”Thank you so much.” _

 

_ “Anything for our children’s godfather,”  _ Tsukimi answered, _ ”And besides, honey, we know you would do the same for us.”  _

 

Izaya smiled a bit, and nodded. They were right. Hell, he would jump over the moon for either of them if it meant making them smile. 

 

Ayase then chuckled.  _ “It’ll be nice to know the dust bunnies will have company while we’re gone,”  _ He signed, but this made Izaya freeze up. Oh yeah.. They both had to leave before they came back for the fundraiser. But the thought made Izaya afraid.. Susumu knew where this place was, he didn’t want to see him.

 

_ “Where are you guys going? Wherever it is, I’ll go too,”  _ Izaya shakily signed, _ ”I don’t wanna be here alone, if he comes here then..” _

 

He lowered his hand, and Tsukimi and Ayase exchanged a nervous look. _ “Um.. What about the party?” _ Tsukimi asked him.

 

_ “We don’t have a location yet, we can just schedule it wherever we’re going,” _ Izaya said quickly, before looking at them nervously. _ “I’m sorry, I know I’m probably being a huge burden, you guys probably want time to yourself and the twins but I just-” _

 

“No!” Ayase exclaimed aloud, jumping up, making Izaya flinch, and Ai growl at Ayase protectively. Ayase quickly sat back down, and twiddled his thumbs. Finally, he signed, _ ”We just.. Our managers scheduled it and we can’t get out of it, neither of us think you’d really.. Want to go there..That’s why we didn’t tell you.” _

 

Izaya felt apprehension creeping in his system, petting Ai’s head to calm himself, he had a guess on where they were going.  _ “Is it..?”  _ He began, but didn’t have to continue, as both of them nodded with sympathy.

 

The dove felt a little fear, before he nodded.  _ “I guess I have to face it eventually,”  _ Izaya bravely signed, _ ”But I have no reason to be afraid, I have you guys. You’re my family. When we’re together, we can do anything!” _

 

Tsukimi smiled, glad to see the fire in Izaya’s eyes again. She grinned widely, and turned to Ayase, nodding. Ayase’s eyes filled with determination, as he nodded back. He then leapt up, turning around gracefully, and spreading his arms out wide.

 

“Pack your bags, everybody!” He exclaimed,”We’re going to Ikebukuro!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh how I love leaving you guys hanging~


	6. Journey To The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya and his friends made a plan, but one cannot plan for the unexpected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's 3am (。-ω-)zzz
> 
> But I got it done! Yay! Within the same week too!

To get to Ikebukuro, they decided to take the train. They rented a private car, deciding they needed the privacy. Especially since someone apparently witnessed Susumu storming from the apartment, and a bloodied up ‘Delic’ leaving a few minutes later. Now fans of both were questioning what happened. But Banba told Izaya he didn’t need to comment until he was comfortable, and nobody really knew where Susumu went. 

 

Of course, the fact that Ayase sent some people to get a few of Izaya’s things it only furthered people’s speculation. But so far nobody claimed anything, and Izaya honestly could care less. He just wanted to not think about it for a while, especially when his birthday was less than a few weeks away, all he wanted was to be with his friends.

 

The train ride was nice and relaxing. The scenery was nice green trees, rice fields, and rivers. Izaya sat by the window on a divan couch with Ai in his lap, petting her gently as they watched the world roll by. Ayase and Tsukimi were on the other side, Ayase was chattering excitedly to his twins. 

 

From what Izaya saw, the two parents were pointing out things and explaining them to the four month olds. The children listened to their parents with wide eyes, completely awed and excited about everything they could see. It was absolutely adorable. Especially when Karla turned to Izaya, waving her arms, her mouth moving as she released what Izaya could only imagine to be a bunch of garbled nonsense, but it was precious still.

 

When they arrived at Ikebukuro, they took a car the rest of the way to their hotel. It was a nice one, with a more traditional style, and not too fancy. Their room had two rooms for sleeping, while the rest was more open space. They chose their rooms, left their stuff, and congregated in the living area to decide what their plan of action. 

 

“Well, I have to go to the publishing company for some meeting, apparently something about making an anime,” Tsukimi explained,”I can’t skip it, so Ayase you have to watch the twins. I don’t want them there, because they’ll probably do exactly what I want to do whenever I have to attend one of these things.”

 

“Sleep?” Ayase suggested.

 

“No,” Tsukimi responded,”Cry.”

 

Izaya raised his eyebrows as Ayase’s mouth formed an ‘Oh’. Ayase nodded, and then squealed aloud. “Oh! I’m gonna take them to this place I heard about! I heard they have the cutest baby clothes and really good baby food, I wanted to check it out before I look at a few shops myself,” He explained, before turning towards the last member of their group. 

 

Realizing it was his turn, Izaya pushed up the sleeves of his horizontally striped grey and white sweater to say _ ,”I heard of a few nice places that may have some new paints and paintbrushes I’ve been interested in, along with a few other tools. I also am very hungry, so I’m going to check and see if some food places I used to go to are still around.”  _

 

Ayase chuckled a bit at the last bit, as Izaya always seemed to be hungry, before a worried look overcame his face. “You sure you’ll be alright going out on your own?” He nervously asked, shifting Kuranosuke in his arms. “I know you’re almost 29 and everything, but from the stories you tell us.. I just don’t want you to get hurt..”

 

Izaya gave a reassuring smile, flashing a thumbs up, before he responded, _ ”It’s okay Ayase, it’s been years. I doubt anyone will recognize me. Besides, I have my phone and Ai with me. I’ll be super careful, I promise!” _

 

Ayase sighed, but nodded. “Okay, as long as you’re sure..” He said softly,”Just be sure to update us every chance you get, okay? And send me pictures of the food! You’re in charge of taking us to the best spots in Ikebukuro once business is taken care of!”

 

Izaya nodded again, crossing his heart with one hand. Both of his friends now reassured, they decided to leave to get business and shopping done. Izaya headed off to do his own shopping as well. 

 

At first, Izaya walked with fear. He remembered how close Shizuo came to grabbing him right before his illness took him.. There was also the fact the blonde claimed he could ‘smell’ him. However, after buying his new brushes and paints, he found that he still hadn’t seen him. So, his nerves ebbed away a bit.

 

After dropping off the paints and brushes in his hotel room, he left again. This time, he felt a sudden need. He really felt the urge to go to one of the places that may not be the safest, but.. Ah, it had just been so long. He wanted to go to Russia Sushi.

 

That’s how he found himself standing near the corner, red eyes watching idly. Simon was there, and he was waving those silly posters while spouting what Izaya could only hope was sentences that were more constructed than his previous ‘Eat Sushi, Sushi good for you’.

 

But judging by the confused looks on some of the passerby’s faces, Izaya doubted it. It made him giggle, his hand running over the top of Ai’s curly head.  _ Some things never change..  _ He thought, a nostalgic feeling crawling into him. 

 

Izaya took a deep breath, and crossed the street over to Simon. The man noticed him, and held out a coupon with a smile. “Yo! Come eat sushi, sushi good for skinny! Skinny have sushi?” He asked.

 

If Izaya was a stranger, he may have taken those words as an insult. But he knew Simon well. He was barely able to restrain himself from pulling the russian into a hug. Seeing him reminded Izaya of a time when he thought he’d never be able to come back and eat the fatty tuna again. Instead of doing so, Izaya simply let out a wide smile, and nodded quickly. Simon looked surprised for a moment, before he grinned back and led Izaya into the resturaunt. 

 

Once they got to the bar, Ai was about to settle down at his feet. However, Simon lifted up the dog, causing her to wiggle in surprise. He then set her in a chair, the one right next to Izaya. The goldendoodle looked a little shaken up, before turning to Izaya, and tilting her head. 

 

Izaya giggled at her reaction, and reached out, scratching her behind her ears again. The dog nudged him, looking forward. Izaya turned around, seeing Simon suddenly in front of him. “Skinny choose his sushi for him and doggy? Sushi choose skinny? Either way, Sushi will be good,” He promised. 

 

The artist smiled again, before pointing to himself. He then pulled out his phone, and typed on it. “Can I have fatty tuna?” He asked,”And if you have any cooked fish or chicken, my dog can have it? I’ll pay extra.”

 

Simon read the words slowly as he frowned, his eyes seemed to shadow over with an emotion Izaya didn’t catch. But he looked up, smiling again and nodding. He walked away, presumably to get the sushi started. 

 

While he was gone, he looked around. The place looked the same, so much so Izaya almost felt 23 again. The place was empty, but that wasn’t unusual. The decor was achingly familiar, and it made Izaya smile. 

 

He looked forward just as the plates were set down. Ai instantly got excited, seeing a bowl of white rice and diced chicken made just for her. Izaya smiled at his own plate, he was salivating. He nodded at Ai, and then picked up his own piece. Biting into it brought back an explosion of a bitter, yet familiar flavor that gave him so many memories.

 

Izaya closed his eyes, releasing a happy sigh, and opened them. Simon was looking down sadly, which made Izaya tilt his head curiously. Simon then looked up, and quickly said,”Sorry. That sushi reminds me of someone I used to know. They’ve been gone for 6 years, thinking about them sometimes makes me sad.”

 

It didn’t take much brain power for a person to realize that Simon was speaking about the very person in front of him. Izaya wanted to tell him, but he didn’t know how he’d be able to explain over his phone. So he simply nodded, and kept listening. 

 

“They weren’t the best of people, not at all,” Simon continued,”But I know there is good in everyone, I was hoping that one day, he’d become a better person. But now I’ll never know, since nobody knows where he went.”

 

Izaya didn’t realize that him missing had affected Simon so much, or that the man had so much faith in him. He knew he couldn’t leave Ikebukuro without telling him who he really was. Maybe when he brought Ayase and Tsukimi to have food, they could translate for him.

 

All he could do now was look at Simon, and give his best reassuring smile. He reached out, patting his calloused hand in a comforting gesture. Izaya used to be a person who wasn’t one for physical contact, but after traveling so long, visiting so many western countries, and living with a cuddle-bug like Ayase, he didn’t mind it anymore.

 

Simon looked at him, and then smiled. “Ah, sorry,” He said again,”Thanks for letting me say all that. I’ll get more sushi, Quiet is much too skinny.”

 

Izaya smiled, and nodded excitedly. He couldn’t wait for more sushi, it tasted amazing, and Izaya knew Simon got happy when people were enthusiastic about his food. Izaya had learned that life was fragile, he just wanted people to be happy. Especially people like Simon, who deserved all the happiness in the world.

 

Good thing he had a big appetite.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

It was about a half hour later that Izaya decided to leave, feeling pretty full. He made sure to pay Simon very graciously, still feeling guilty that he wasn’t telling the russian just yet. Simon, in turn, gave him some to take back with him. 

 

After they left, Izaya examined the streets around them once more. It was strange how, while his life had changed so drastically, it seemed the Ikebukuro was completely the same. The same shops, same buildings, same traffic, same people going through the same routines. It was relaxing somehow, just from nostalgia alone. 

 

He looked down at his dog when they were near sunshine park, and noticed the pieces of rice still hanging from her curly muzzle. The dove chuckled a bit, before moving to an emptier sidewalk, and beginning to pick the pieces out of her golden fur.  _ Silly girl, but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, she has as much of an appetite as me.  _ He thought in amusement.

 

But then, a feeling crawled up Izaya’s whole being. He suddenly felt as if he was.. Being watched. He stood up quickly, brushing his hand on his black pant leg while he tried to look around casually. There were a few crowds, but he didn’t see anything out of place. Still, he knew he was being watched.

 

Izaya took Ai’s leash, and started walking down the sidewalk again, keeping close to the buildings. He looked around again, as the crowds were dispersing as he got closer to the hotel. He saw it then, a van creeping up around the corner. It was a purple van.. One Izaya recognized well. Asanuma’s van..

 

Izaya’s breathing picked up slightly. Why were they following him? Izaya looked down at his dog, before looking towards the area the hotel was in. He walked faster, speeding up as best he could. Izaya then used his free hand to pull out his phone. He shakily pulled up Ayase’s contact. If Ayase wasn’t at the hotel, he wanted to warn him, or go to him. 

 

Izaya was halfway through typing the message, as he walked in front of an alley. The purple van lurched forward, and skidded to a stop in front of him. In his panic, Izaya stumbled backwards, leaving the car in front of the alley, and blocking him from escaping. 

 

Izaya didn’t think, he just whipped around and ran. Ai galloped at his side, running down the alley. 

 

Izaya found that he didn’t know where he was going, his knowledge of Ikebukuro’s nooks and crannies had faded away. He just kept going down the alley, but he couldn’t last long. His lungs were straining themselves, his throat felt like someone was rubbing sandpaper on it. 

 

He stumbled, leaning forward as he coughed violently. Bringing his hand away, he saw the blood staining it. Izaya then turned around quickly, he could see Morita and Kanazawa creeping towards him. Their mouths moved, and Izaya was so panicked, he could only catch a few words. Words like ‘Good looking one’ and ‘Just what we needed.’

 

Izaya whimpered, his chest feeling tight as he looked behind him. There were only two alleys he could go through, one seemed brighter than the other. He stumbled towards the bright one, only to cry out as the purple van skidded in front of him again.

 

The dove cried out again, turning and trying to run the other way. Arms wrapped around his waist tightly, causing Izaya to gasp in pain and drop big items in his arms. 

 

He struggled violently, opening his mouth and trying to scream. He couldn't hear himself, but he was trying to be as loud as possible. But when a fist slammed in his stomach, he lurched forward and coughed more blood.

 

The second her leash was dropped, Ai let out a vicious snarl and sunk her teeth into Kanazawa’s leg. The kidnapped cried out in pain, throwing the metal pipe against the dog. Ai growled violently, but simply jumped on top of the shorter, tearing at his shirt and attempting to scare him off.

 

Morita growled, throwing Izaya against the ground hard. Izaya cried out, hitting his head in the exact same place it had been hit when Susumu attacked him before tumbling a little farther. The man then kicked the dog away, pulling out his stun gun. 

 

Ai stumbled back, before dashing down the alley. She slipped through Asanuma’s arms, and went down the street, barking all the way.

 

The man turned back, Seeing Izaya trying desperately to stand up and crawl away. He got on his arms, but then was kicked in the chest. He cried out, falling back onto the ground.

 

Izaya felt nauseous, in pain, and dizzy. He felt arms around him, and he desperately struggled again. Something was pressed against his mouth, and he tried to hold his breath but-

 

Suddenly, everything froze. All the arms suddenly stopped, before dropping him. Izaya hit the ground again, grunting out in pain.

 

It took him a little bit to register the world around him again. He weakly opened his eyes, just in time to see the purple van driving off, and shadow-like tendrils on the walls around him. 

 

Those bastards were gone.. What made them stop? Unfortunately, his vision once again faded to black before he could see what saved him. 

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

The next time Izaya woke up, he honestly thought he dreamt the whole altercation up. The room he was in was dark, but he was in a comfy futon, and Ai was curled up at his side. He sat up a bit, looking around to try and think of what could have happened. Maybe he fell asleep after he took his paint supplies back to his room?

 

His movement awoke the goldendoodle next to him. When Ai saw he was awake, she carefully crawled over to him, and began to cover him in excited licks, before nuzzling against his chest. Izaya giggled a bit, leaning back, and petting her head comfortingly.  _ She’s shaking a bit, I wonder what’s bothering her? _ He thought. _ Maybe my nightmare really freaked her out.. _

 

Izaya pulled himself out of the futon, before wincing at the sudden pain. He groaned, his hand going to his chest and- Wait, where was his shirt?!

 

Looking down, Izaya saw his chest was bare, except for the bandages wrapped around certain parts of his body. The upper part of his chest, and part of his stomach. His hand then went to his face, feeling a few band aids up there as well. He then caught sight of his hand, where the telltale stain of blood was still on his body.

 

Looking at Ai, he noticed the bandages on her too. Some around her head, and some on her stomach. Izaya frowned in concern, scratching behind her ears gently. The dog leaned into the touches, seeming just as thankful as Izaya for the contact. But one more question was tugging at Izaya’s fuzzy memory.  _ Who _ had saved him?

 

Izaya forced himself to stand up, finding that several places ached. Ai instantly jumped to his side, there for him in case he fell. He smiled down at her, before looking around for the door. There it was. Izaya towards the sliding door. Carefully, he slid it open a crack.

 

Almost instantly, Izaya’s sensitive eyes were pained from the light. He blinked several times, trying to adjust to the brightness as nose was overcome with the delicious smells of.. Well, lots of things, but it smelt like hot-pot more than anything. Izaya’s mouth began to salivate once more. Damn.. He was hungry again. Now was  _ not _ the time.

 

He slid the door open more, seeing the dark hardwood floors and cream colored walls of the hallway. Slowly, Izaya stepped out all the way. He looked around, noticing some place that led to a larger area. 

 

His bare foot took him towards it, anxiety climbing a bit as he rubbed his eyes. His hand against the wall helping him feel where he was going. As he walked, he couldn’t help but think.. About how this apartment. It gave him another creeping feeling of nostalgia, and it reminded him so much of.. 

 

Of Shinra’s apartment..

 

This thought made Izaya drop his arm from his eyes, shocking himself. At the same time, his hand lost it’s connection to the hall, instead feeling the corner of where the hallway connected to the larger room. Izaya’s vision cleared, and his eyes widened in shock.  _ Oh no.. Oh dear god..  _ He thought in terror. 

 

_ It.. It’s everyone.. _

 

Sitting at the on the ground near the table was an older looking Mikado, Masomi, Saki, and Anri, on their left was Harima and Namie’s brother. Next to them was Shinra’s stepmother, and on the couch across from them was Celty.. And Shinra. But that wasn’t the end of it..

 

Looking over, Izaya’s heart suddenly began to try and violently escape from his chest. The table was filled by Dota-chin and his gang, a certain blank faced actor sat on one of the two chairs at the head of the table, and next to him.. Oh god.. It was fucking Shizuo! This was exactly what Izaya had been wanting to avoid!! A frightened noise crawled up and escaped Izaya’s throat, causing everyone to turn to look at him.

 

Expressions were mixed. Some were curious, others concerned, or simply blank. But nobody seemed suspicious, or seemed to recognize him.. Izaya guessed he should be thankful for his white hair at this moment in time-

 

Celty was suddenly up out of her seat, causing Izaya to jump in fear. Ai looked up at him in concern, moving so she was in front of Izaya’s legs. Celty kept coming though, whipping out her PDA and typing something on it. Then, she held it in front of his face.

 

**[Are you okay?]**

 

Izaya let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. He slowly nodded, though he wasn’t sure if he could be okay when Mr. Blonde Death sat less than 20 feet away from him. He didn’t hate Shizuo anymore.. But Izaya knew how fragile he was. If Shizuo found out who he was.. Oh he’d be dead in less that 10 seconds.

 

Celty nodded, but seemed to notice his fear.  **[No need to be afraid.]** She told him gently.  **[I’m sorry there are so many people, but when I found you I was already on my way here, and everyone had already decided to attend, we didn’t wanna cancel plans.]**

 

Izaya quickly brought his hands up, before freezing up.  _ Oh no.. They can’t understand me.. _ He realized in horror. He remembered dropping his phone now. How was he supposed to communicate with them?!

 

Instead, Izaya quickly shook his head and gave a thumbs up, trying to imply he didn’t mind even though he totally did. Celty seemed to get it, but then again she was probably the best person who could interpret what he was trying to do. 

 

She nodded her head, and then grabbed Izaya’s hand. She motioned over to the food.  **[Come on, you’re much too skinny. My husband Shinra will look you over while you eat.]** She told him.

 

_ Oh.. So they finally tied the knot, huh? _ Izaya thought sadly. He wished he could have been there to see that.. He’d probably missed so much.. It had been nearly 6 years after all..

 

Izaya allowed Celty to lead him over to the couch, sending a nervous glance at Shizuo. The blonde not only was Shizuo.. He had the same hair and eyes as Susumu.. It made Izaya even more afraid.. When the blonde’s eyes narrowed, Izaya quickly looked down at Ai, needing something to calm him down.

 

Celty set him down on the couch, before sitting on the other side of Shinra. Shinra turned, flailing his hands in what Izaya could only imagine was ‘declarations of his love’. Celty finally bonked him on the head before pointing at Izaya. The dove couldn’t help the small smile crawling up his face. It seemed some things still hadn’t changed. 

 

Shinra turned back around, and then chuckled. “Oh! Sorry, I just had to remind my wife how beautiful she is,” He explained. He kept talking, but he turned around to grab something. Izaya’s smile turned into a frown, but Shinra turned back around with a doctor’s bag. “So sometimes that happens.” Was what Izaya caught next, and Shinra continued,”I’m gonna just make sure you and your dog are okay. Celty wouldn’t forgive me if I sent you guys out without making sure you were okay, I wouldn’t forgive me either.”

 

He unwrapped the bandages, revealing a nice large bruise on his chest and stomach. Shinra examined them, and thankfully looked up, and said,”You should probably ice them when you get the chance. And as for your head, you seem to have two concussions within a few days of each other. But considering you made it through the night I think you’ll be just fine. Just need to be more careful.”

 

Okay, that was good to know.. Wait.. Through the night?  _ Through the night!?  _ His eyes widened. Ayase and Tsukimi must be worried sick! Oh, now he had even more reason to leave as soon as possible. 

 

      Shinra finished wrapping his bandages, and then moved to look towards Ai. The dog remained next to Izaya, her muzzle against his leg. “She really cares for you,” He said,”Risked her life for you, and sat by your side while I was bandaging some of your other cuts. Never moved.”

 

       Celty whipped out her PDA and showed it to Izaya once more.  **[She’s the only reason I found you]** The Dullahan Explained  **[She ran in front of my motorcycle and barked until I followed her.]**

 

       Izaya couldn't help the prideful smile that overcame him as he nodded, looking down at his dog. Her bandages were nice and fresh now, as she wagged her tail at her owner.  _ Yeah, she’s a very good girl..  _ Izaya thought happily, before slumping slightly.  _ I just wish I could tell her that sometimes.. _

 

Since he was looking down at his dog, he didn’t expect the sudden hands on his shoulders. He let out a yelp of fear, jumping from the chair, and stumbling away. Turning, he saw a surprised looking Erika, among a few others. They all looked pretty concerned, but confused.

 

Erika then giggled awkwardly. “Wow! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you! Man, you’re really jumpy, I was even talking the whole way over!” She told him. Well, this may be the best time, if any. It’s not like they would see him again anyways.

 

Izaya shook his head, and then pointed to his ears. Erika then frowned, tilting her head. “You can hear me?” She asked,”Well then why did I scare you?” 

 

Izaya frowned deeply, shaking his head. He then pointed to his ears and crossed an X over them. Walker then jumped up, waving his hand. “Oh! You were trying to grow antenna!” He guessed, grinning hopefully.

 

Izaya huffed angrily, slapping his hand on his face. Dammit, this shouldn’t be so hard. When he moved his hand off his face, he saw Celty in front of him. She handed him her PDA, and motioned for him to use it, so he did. Typing on it, he then held it out to her. **[I’m deaf]** He simply said.

 

“OH!” Masomi exclaimed suddenly, causing everyone to turn to him. “That explains why why you frowned when Shinra looked away, and why you keep staring so much, I thought it was just because of my dashing good looks,” He said, then tilting his head back and gulping down the rest of his drink. But then he gasped, and looked back up. “Wait, have you understood anything about what we’ve been saying?”

 

Izaya nodded.  **[I can read lips]** He explained.  **[As long as you’re not talking too fast and facing me, I can make out what you’re trying to say most of the time]**

 

Everyone seemed to accept his words, as Celty brought him back over to the couch. Kadota had now walked over, standing in front of him. “Do you know why those guys attacked you?” He asked,”I’ve run into them before, don’t worry, I’m not with them.”

 

_ Oh Dota-chin, believe me, I think even I know more about them than you.. _ Izaya thought awkwardly. This had to be the longest conversation he’d held with any of them, so he decided to just keep talking.  **[I couldn’t really catch much of what they were saying.. Something about me being a good looking one and just what they needed?]** He asked, putting a questioning look on his face.

 

Suddenly, everyone whipped around. Izaya frowned, looking past Kadota to see Shizuo’s metal cup crushed in his hand. As Shizuo was speaking through his teeth, Izaya didn’t understand what he was saying. It made him tremble a bit. 

 

Celty shook her head at Shizuo, before taking the PDA from Izaya’s frozen hand.  **[Don’t worry, he’s just mad at those kidnappers for hurting innocent people like you. When he gets mad he tends to blame it on an old..]** She backspaced. **[Someone we used to know]**

 

Shizuo slammed his hand down, and stood up, declaring,”It has to be the fucking flea! We haven’t seen him in five years, he’s probably the one causing trouble again!”

 

“Um.. Heiwajima-san, I hate to say this, but I doubt it was Izaya-san,” Mikado said, turning to look at the white haired male silently. Izaya saw this look, and frowned. Did he.. Did he realize who Izaya was?

 

Kadota shook his head. “Izaya is probably dead,” He said bluntly,”Nobody knows where he was, Shizuo, and he led a dangerous life. Somebody probably got ahold of him and got their revenge.”

 

Masomi snorted, nodding in agreement and wrapping an arm around Saki. “Good riddance, I say,” He said calmly. Saki leaned into his hold, closing her eyes but not responding.

 

“It  _ HAS _ to be him! He can’t just vanish off the face of the earth! Where the fuck else could he be?! France?!” Shizuo yelled, causing Izaya to tense up slightly. Not only was his heart racing again, but all this jumping back and forth was making him dizzy. 

 

Izaya hunched over, grabbing his hair, and groaning. Mikado heard this, and quickly stood up. Izaya saw this movement, and jerked his head up. “Ah.. Here, you look pale, I’ll take you to the bathroom,” He explained, taking Izaya’s hand and walking away quickly. Ai bounded after them quickly.

 

Once they got in the room, Mikado turned around. The white haired male was leaning against the door, breathing hard with his eyes closed. “Izaya-san?” He whispered slightly, wondering if the man really was deaf.

 

When he got no response, he tapped the man’s shoulder. The red eyes snapped open, and looked at Mikado suspiciously. “Izaya-san, is it you?” The younger questioned.

 

The dove frowned, and pointed to outside. Mikado stared for a moment, wondering what he was trying to communicate. Oh.. Oh! “You want to know if I’ll tell them?” He asked.

 

The white haired male nodded, and Mikado thought for a moment. Masomi only came back two years ago, he had been so afraid of Izaya finding him. It had been so peaceful with Izaya gone.. He couldn’t just keep this secret..

 

But maybe he was judging too quickly?

 

Mikado lifted his head, and firmly said,”It depends why you are here. Are you here to hurt people or cause trouble?”

 

Izaya shook his head, and then looked around the bathroom. Oh yeah, Celty had taken her PDA back, they didn’t have a way to communicate. “Um.. We can’t talk like this..” He muttered, before sighing,”Okay, I’m not going to tell anyone for now. But you need to leave before someone else finds out.”

 

The dove nodded quickly, that was all he wanted to do. Mikado nodded back. “Do you have anyone that would be looking for you?” He asked,”Someone that can pick you up?”

 

Izaya nodded once again, and then held his hand up, tapping it with other one. Mikado stared for a moment. “Oh.. You can text them?” He asked, gaining another nod.

 

Mikado came up with a plan. “Okay, we’ll get you out of here, and then maybe you can explain to me why you’re here over text? Just so I know for sure?” He asked, and Izaya nodded again. 

 

They left the hallway, and came back into the room to find themselves being stared at. Celty walked over, and pulled out her PDA. **[Is he okay?]** She asked.

 

Mikado nodded. “I asked a few yes or no questions, he has some people who are probably looking for him. He needs a way to text them so they can come here and get them,” He explained. He knew Izaya may be lying, but the sudden open emotions in the raven’s eyes, and the way he seemed to not be guarded at all.. It couldn’t be fake.

 

Before anyone else could do anything, Shizuo got up and stomped over. Izaya and Mikado both froze. Oh no.. Did he catch on?! The blonde got in front of Izaya, he raised his arm and-

 

Held out his phone.

 

“Here, use mine,” He said calmly, missing the relieved sighs from the dove and his sudden confidant. “And if you’re nervous about walking back, I’ll come with you and beat the fuck out of anyone that tries to hurt you.”

 

Izaya slowly reached out, taking his phone. He gave Shizuo a shaky smile, which Shizuo nodded to. Izaya then brought the phone closer, and opened up messages, typing in Ayase’s number.

 

If Izaya had gotten ahold of Shizuo’s phone before all this, god only knows what he would have done. But now all he wanted to do was go back to his friend, back to the place he knew was safe. So, he texted quickly.

 

_ Ayase, it’s Delic _

 

_ I’m okay, some people helped me, please come pick me up at XXX-XXXX _

 

_ I can explain more then. _

 

Izaya sent the texts, and handed the phone back to Shizuo. Instantly, the suspicious blonde looked over the messages. His eyes suddenly widened. “Delic?” He asked aloud, before looking at Izaya. “Wait.. You’re Delic?!”

 

Izaya’s eyes widened, squeezing his hands together, and nodding. Celty seemed to freeze up too, suddenly she shoved Shinra out of the way and ran over. **[I love your artwork of dullahans!]** She exclaimed  **[I don’t know how I didn’t recognize you! I’ve been waiting for you to have another gallery in Japan for so long!]**

 

As usual when it came to his art, Izaya was very bashful about it. His face flushed red, as he shuffled his feet. He gave a nervous smile, and bowed his head slightly. 

 

Shizuo then said,”I like your scenic paintings, they are peaceful. I don’t like violence, so it’s nice to look at them. And you do those fundraisers with those two other celebrities. You’re peaceful, I like it a lot. It’s an honor to meet you.”

 

Izaya smiled back, although he was internally screaming. He could see Celty liking his paintings, considering many were based on dullahans. But  _ SHIZUO?!  _ Izaya didn’t know how to handle all these kind words from someone who would probably dismember him if he realized who Izaya really was.

 

Erika then pouted nearby. “Awww man! Why couldn’t you be a bookworm! Than you would have been a perfect Kaneki cosplayer!!” She exclaimed, her lip pouting out. 

 

Kadota rolled his eyes, and leaned closer to Izaya. “Ignore everything she says, she’s delusional most of the time,” He casually explained, making the brunette woman gawk in surprise.

 

Mikado watched worriedly as a few more minutes passed by. Erika was now whining at Kadota, others going back to eating, Shinra was now sitting with Celty and waving his hands excitedly. Shizuo, meanwhile, seemed to be staying with Izaya.

 

It was extremely weird to see. Izaya was nervous, but being gentle, and didn’t seem to be trying anything at all. Shizuo seemed nervous too, but genuinely wanting to stand next to ‘Delic’. It made Mikado wonder if they would have been able to get along a long time ago.. But they couldn’t now. If Shizuo found out who Izaya was, it didn’t matter what Izaya had done in the past 5 years, he was dead.

 

Thank god nothing else could happen to reveal that. Whoever Izaya called would pick him up, and they’d never have to think about this again.

 

As if on cue, there was frantic knocking on the door. Shinra got up, going over to the door. He opened it,about to ask who it was when the door suddenly was slammed the rest of the way open.

 

In the open door, there stood a frantic looking man with his honey brown hair tied in a messy ponytail in wrinkled clothes. In front of him was a girl in a wheelchair in the same condition. 

 

“Where is he?” Ayase asked quickly,”Where is he? He said he was here!” 

 

Shinra blinked, and then motioned down the hall. “Oh? You mean the- AH!” He cried out, running out of the way as the man sped down the hall. 

 

Ayase then let Tsukimi go, as a familiar white haired male turned to see the commotion. “Izaya!!” Ayase exclaimed, running over and pulling the dove into a tight hug, and spinning him around in his arms. 

 

“Do you have any idea how worried we were!? Where have you been!? What happened!” He yelled with the knowledge his friend probably didn't hear him. ”You said you’d text me, Izaya! You never did! I was so afraid!”

 

He set the man down, and sighed. “You're going to have a lot of explaining to do!” He said firmly. 

 

Izaya quickly nodded, trying to not cry in relief. He may have been even happier, however, he saw a face behind Ayase’s shoulder. 

 

It was Mikado’s wide eyed, horrified look. What? Why was he shocked? Izaya looked to his left. He saw the shocked faces of the others, Anri, Masomi, and Saki. That’s when it registered to him. 

 

Ayase had said his name out loud. 

 

Izaya felt his heart picking up as he let out a panicked gasp, turning and looking at the other side of the room, at his old friend, at.. At Shizuo.

 

The blonde was frozen, in his white knuckled fist was the remains of his cell phone. His chest was heaving, and Izaya felt fear crawl up his heart. He yanked himself away from Ayase, and began to back up as fast as he could.

 

He was dead, he was dead, oh god, he was dead.

 

“You..” Shizuo growled,”It was you all along, you’re not dead! You bastard! You had some kind of master plan for this didn't you!? Well, I’M NOT GONNA LET THAT HAPPEN ANYMORE! NEVER AGAIN!!”

 

Shizuo’s hands went to the empty couch, as he lifted the large object high above his head. Izaya pressed himself against the wall as hard as he could, red eyes wide with horror. Shizuo’s arms moved back, preparing to throw, as he opened his mouth, and bellowed. 

 

_ “IIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAYAAAAAA!!!!” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed having two chapters of the same story so close to each other XD Don't get used to it
> 
> Expect an update to Change of Heart next!!


	7. An Explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya, Ayase, and Tsukimi give an explanation and leave everyone time to ponder.

_“IIIIIIIIIIZAAAAAAYAAAAAA!!!!”_

 

Shizuo let out this loud bellow, and pulled the couch back, ready to throw at the cowering dove against the wall. However, his bellow snapped Ayase out of his shock. He moved quickly, jumping in front of Izaya and holding his hands out. “Don’t you dare hurt him!” He yelled angrily,”If you want to get Izaya, you’ll have to get through me!”

 

This seemed to cause the blonde to freeze up, eyes widening as he realized what just happened. Someone was.. Defending the flea? He growled, and snapped,”Get. Out. Of. My. WAY! That bastard is going to ruin everything again!”

 

Tsukimi, by now, had managed to get over as well, moving her wheelchair in front of both Izaya and her husband. “You say that, but has he done anything to you the entire time he was here?!” She demanded,”And look at him, he’s terrified! I don’t know how fucking blind you are, but I think it’s pretty obvious that Izaya doesn’t want to fight! So if you hurt him, you’re hurting an innocent person.”

 

Shizuo frowned, but he didn’t try anything for a few moments. Then, he growled again. “But he’s not innocent! He’s tricking both of you! You have no idea what that louse can do!” He snarled.

 

“You’re wrong,” Ayase replied,”Izaya already told us everything, we know his past probably more than you do. It was bad, but things have changed, you don’t know the Izaya we know. You don’t know what we’ve been through together.”

 

He then lowered his hands slightly, and gently said,”Please, let all three of us explain. And if you want us to leave, we’ll leave. But you should at least try to hear our side of the story before you make an opinion.”

 

For a while, nobody said anything, and the tension in the room was so thick you could feel it. Finally, Mikado exclaimed,”I think we- we should give them a chance! I.. I knew it was Orihara-kun, I talked to him a bit. He just wanted to leave, he didn’t want to cause t-trouble! L-let’s at least give them the benefit of the doubt!”

 

Celty looked at the situation in front of her. Izaya was hugging himself tightly, his wide red eyes staring at them in horror. He was so afraid, the exact opposite of the Izaya she knew. Mikado wasn’t stupid, and if he believed Izaya.. Maybe they should give him a chance.

 

The dullahan walked over to Shizuo, placing her hand on his shoulder. Shizuo’s angered brown eyes turned to her, and saw what she was trying to tell him. He turned back towards the group, and saw the determined faces of the man and woman in front of his hated rival. Even if Izaya was his main target, he couldn’t hurt innocent people to get to him.

 

He finally sighed, putting the couch back where it belonged. “Fine,” He sneered,”But if I don’t like it, you all better get the hell out of Ikebukuro before I _make_ you leave.”

 

Tsukimi glared at him, obviously not pleased by that answer, but she nodded anyways. Ayase turned around, and moved Izaya so they were facing each other. Everyone watched as he started using his hands and making many different hand signals and facial expressions. Izaya watched his hands intently for a while, before nodding slowly after Ayase finished.

 

The man took Izaya’s hand, and moved them over to the couch. He sat Izaya down in the middle, lifted Tsukimi up to sit on the couch as well. Ai moved to sit in front of Izaya again, burying her head on his lap. He then sat on the other side of the dove, as everyone else moved closer. Some were simply surprised and curious, like Shinra and Kadota, but others, like Anri and Masomi, were angry.

 

Ayase sighed, before he began. “My name is Ayase Koibuchi, and that’s my wife Tsukimi. We’re both friends of Izaya, and have been for years now,” He explained aloud and with his hands,”All three of us will be explaining what we’ve been up to, but I’ll be interpreting what Izaya says for you.”

 

“Interpreting?” Kasuka questioned,”So Orihara-san really is deaf? How did that happen?”

 

The three friends nodded, and then Ayase declared,”It’s part of our story, but I’ll let Izaya start first.”

 

Izaya looked at Ayase the whole time he was speaking, then he looked towards everyone else, and then looked nervously down at his shaking hands. Finally, he took a deep breath, lowered his eyes away from everyone, and started signing.

 

“The day Shizuo took my jacket, I had been feeling really sick all day, and right after I talked to Celty, I collapsed in Shinjuku. In the hospital, I found out that I had been diagnosed with a new disease with no known cure. There was, at the time, a 99% chance that I was going to die. The disease is a parasite, a nasty, hard to catch parasite, it attacks and eats up different parts of your body until you it hits something that finally kills you. For six months, I got sicker and sicker..” Ayase interpreted, seeing the pale face of his friend grow even paler.

 

Ayase then took over, signing as he spoke,”It was around then that his doctor asked me to come speak with him, because they were desperately searching for a cure, but Izaya was wanting to do active euthanasia.”

 

“What?” Shinra croaked, making everyone look at him curiously. He was a doctor, he knew what that meant. Shinra took a few moments to clear his throat, and said,”Active euthanasia is a person willingly asked to be killed, it is only allowed in Japan when a person who is too far gone to be cured or has something incurable. Basically.. Orihara-kun was wanting to be put to sleep for good, he wanted to die.”

 

Nobody said anything for a moment, until Masomi scoffed. “Huh, a coward to the end, aren’t you?” He snarled.

 

“Don’t you fucking dare call him a coward, he’s stronger than you will ever be!” Tsukimi yelled, losing her temper. “You have no idea what it’s like, sitting in a hospital bed, wondering each day if that day is your last or if you’ll keep suffering only to die another day! Ayase had cancer, he understands! I lost the use of my legs, I was in a coma for weeks before I met them, I understand! Izaya understands more than any of us! Don’t you judge us without knowing what we went through!”

 

Izaya was starting to shake again, his hand going to Tsukimi’s shoulder and giving her a nervous smile. Tsukimi froze, before she blushed. “I’m sorry,” She signed and said aloud,”I get mad when people try to talk bad about you, you need to defend yourself more.”

 

The dove shrugged, and then looked back at Ayase, who continued speaking,”So I met Izaya, and we became friends. We bonded over our struggles, I gave him one of my black wigs to help with the hair loss all those painful treatments caused, among other things. And I would come and visit as often as I could.”

 

Ayase motioned towards Tsukimi, and she continued, “A while after that, I woke up from my coma, but I learned that I would never walk again. It really hit me hard because I was an athlete, I did gymnastics. I was outside with my sketchbook when they approached me. I remember Ayase and Izaya just encouraging me and acting all silly to cheer me up. I don’t know what I would have done if they hadn’t spoken to me that day..”

 

Tsukimi then frowned, and looked at Ayase, who nodded and continued,”Everything was nice for a while.. But a couple months later.. Izaya collapsed.. The illness had gone through his chest and his throat, and reached his head. I just remember running into the room, finding him panicking and crying. I was trying to calm him down, but he couldn’t hear me anymore.. He lost his hearing around 9 months into his stay in the hospital.”

 

“After that, he started to get worse and worse. We stayed together, we learned sign language with each other. But soon Izaya couldn’t even move around, and it looked hopeless. But after a year and a half, they found a cure and he survived. We all had been through so much, by ourselves and together, so we decided to stick together and go see the world, since none of us had ever had the chance to celebrate our survival,” Ayase explained.

 

Izaya started signing again. “We traveled around the world, I started painting, Tsukimi does manga, and Ayase runs a fashion company. Together we raise money for charity, and it’s been really nice. We’re here because of work, and to host a fundraising event. I promise you, there is nothing else, I don’t want to do that anymore,”

 

Izaya looked right at Celty as he then continued,”Celty told me that I was just as human as everyone else the day all this started. At the time, I didn’t believe her. Now, I realize she was rights. I’m only human, I know that now, and I sincerely apologize for all the pain I’ve caused. I know I probably don’t deserve forgiveness, but just know that I’m not here to cause issues. It’s up to you guys if you want to talk to me. I’ll leave you alone, I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. Life is fragile, and I want to spend the rest of it living life to the fullest with my friends.”

 

After he finished, he lowered his hands. Nobody spoke, but it wasn’t like Izaya could hear them anyways. What _could_ they say? What the three went through was amazing, how Izaya managed to survive that.

 

But just the fact Izaya was apologizing was enough to confuse everyone into silence. He was acting so different, so shy and nervous. They didn’t know what to do.

 

After a little while of this, Ayase finally sighed. “Well, obviously you all need some time to process all this,” He began, reaching into his pocket, pulling out some cards. “Here, this is my personal number. If you want to see him and talk to him, call me. I may not trust any of you, but I’m not going to take away the only chance to show you how much he’s changed.” He explained.

 

Ayase dropped the cards on the table, swiftly turning, putting Tsukimi in her wheelchair. He then tapped Izaya's shoulder, signing, _”Let’s go, give them time to think.”_

 

Izaya nodded quietly, standing up. Ai jumped up quickly and followed at them. Ayase quickly pushed Tsukimi from the room, still too angry at them to say goodbye. Izaya quickly followed after. He stopped near the door, looking back at everyone nervously, before quickly following Ayase out, shutting the door behind him.

 

Silence reigned through the house for a long time, before Shinra finally spoke. “Well..” He began, forcing a laugh out,”I guess we know where Orihara-kun went now.. But after seeing him, I don’t know what to think..”

 

Everyone merely agreed, as Kadota knelt down, picking up the card. He stared at the number for a bit, flipping the card around, before he said,”I think I’m going to call him.”

 

The only person who seemed really enraged at this was Shizuo. “What?!” The blonde snarled,”Why would you do that?! He’s a lying, manipulative bastard! Why should we believe anything he says?”

 

“Brother,” Kasuka suddenly interjected,”I don’t think he was lying. He was sincere, he wasn’t trying to fight you.”

 

 **[He remembered what I told him about being human.. He said I was right, I never thought he would do that]** Celty said, typing out in awe **[Wait.. So… Does this mean that** **_Izaya_ ** **is Delic!?]**

 

“ _UWOOOAH!_ ” Erika squealed,”Yes it does! That was Koibuchi Ayase and Tsukimi! The manga writer and the fashion designer. They always hang out with Delic! The golden trio! We just met them!”

 

“Ahh! But I didn’t get their autographs!” Walker exclaimed,”Dota-chin, now we have to call them!”

 

Kadota scoffed, rolling his eyes. During all this excitement, Mikado saw a chance. “U-um!” If he’s Delic, then that means he created that funding association too!” Mikado stated,”S-so, then he really could be changing. I think he has, especially because he never tried anything when he was here!”

 

A few people seemed suspicious, frowning as they looked at other faces to see what exactly everyone else thought.

 

Saki finally got tired of the silence, and said,”I think we should give him the benefit of the doubt. I want to talk to him again, and see for myself.”

 

Everyone seemed to agree, some out of curiosity, others out of agreement. Personally, Shizuo thought everyone was going batshit crazy. But.. He trusted his brother’s judgement. He sighed, and picked up the card as well.

 

“Fine, we’re at a ceasefire for now,” Shizuo said, instantly noticing the shocked looks he got. “B-but that doesn’t mean I want to get to know him again!” He snapped,”I just want to keep an eye on the louse!”

 

“ _Suuuuuuure_ Shizu-chan,” Erika teased, an evil smirk crawling up her face,”Whatever helps you tsundere yourself to sleep at night!”

 

Shizuo rolled his eyes, before he looked away. There was absolutely no other reason for him to want to see the louse, he was just doing it to make sure the flea didn’t try anything. That was it.

 

There was absolutely no other reason..

 

…

 

Really!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is shorter than normal, but I wanted to get explanation time out of the way so it wouldn't be creeping in my mind forever NOW, it is!
> 
> Next Chapter: Bonding Time!


	8. Hello Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Several characters share their thoughts about the returning dove, while another painfully familiar face shows themselves to the trio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Another update! I hope you guys enjoy!!

After the door had been shut, Ayase instantly turned. He threw his arms around Izaya, pulling the other into a huge hug, burying his face in the shorter man’s white hair. “You scared us.. You scared us so bad.. Please be more careful..” He whispered, knowing full well that his friend couldn’t hear him. It made him feel better though.

 

They had been completely terrified. Izaya had not been at the hotel when they got back with the twins, and hadn’t answered his phone all night. Sure, the dove was almost 29, he probably could have gone out to be by himself. But there was also the fact Izaya had been recently attacked by who they all thought they knew well, and now they didn’t really know where he was. Ayase knew he had the right to be worried.

 

Eventually, the fashion designer let go of his friend a bit. He sighed again, before signing, _ ”I’m sorry, I’m just glad you’re safe.” _

 

Izaya’s red eyes watched the hands, before they filled up with guilt.  _ “I should be the one apologizing, I worried you guys so much..” _ The dove suddenly looked nervous. _ “I should have just stayed at home, you guys could have had a relaxing visit here and-” _

 

Ayase grabbed Izaya’s hands, and shook his head. _ “Izaya, we’d never think like that and you know it,” _ He declared, _ ”After all we’ve been through, we’re family. We stick together, okay?” _

 

Izaya watched his firm violet eyes, before turning to look at Tsukimi. She had the same look, maybe even more stubborn than Ayase’s. He felt a blush crawl up his cheeks, along with an embarrassed smile, and nodded.

 

Tsukimi smiled happily, grabbing Izaya’s hand. “Good! Now let’s go back to the hotel. The twins and Banba have been missing you,” She explained, before turning towards her husband. 

 

“Honey~” She began with a sweet smile,”Make yourself useful and push me”

 

Ayase let out a shocked gasp, as Izaya shoulder’s shook with silent laughter. The fashion designer grabbed the handles of his wife’s wheelchair. “Do you see what I have to deal with when you’re not around, Izaya?” He asked,”She’s so demanding!”

 

“ _ I’m _ the demanding one?” Tsukimi exclaimed,”Would you like me to tell Izaya about how you were more trouble than the twins were while we were looking for him? Izaya, it was like the wine in the rice cooker all over again. I walk in and there’s eggs on the window, there was ice cream in the milk carton, and then there was what happened with the coffee maker in the fridge-”

 

_ “In the fridge?”  _ Izaya queried.

 

“OKAY I GET IT!” Ayase exclaimed,”Let’s just go back to the hotel!” He quickly exclaimed, pushing forward farther.

 

Feeling a presence behind him, Ayase turned his head. It appeared that several of the people who were in the apartment Izaya was at were now peeking out at them. His violet eyes narrowed. He brought two fingers up to his eyes, and then pointed them back at the group of heads at the door. It was a message that firmly stated ‘I’m watching you’

 

He then turned back around and continued walking calmly. He didn’t look back, he knew his message got through, he didn’t need to check. As long as they had Izaya back, that was all he cared about.

 

_ Hopefully the rest of our trip will be more peaceful than this.. _

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

The Next Day

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

Shizuo frowned, holding the buisiness card in his hand. He looked at the name, flipping it over to see the personal number. He had done this so many times, but never tried to call the number. He felt a desire to do so.. But why? 

 

Tom, who was walking with him, noticed his attitude. Kasuka had called Tom ahead of time to warn him about what happened, and Shizuo was in an even fouler mood than Kasuka predicted. Wanting to help, he awkwardly began,”You okay Shiz-” But he was cut off before he could continue.

 

“I don’t understand it!” He exclaimed,”Why would I even want to talk to him? He doesn’t wanna cause any trouble and he’ll leave soon anyways, so shouldn’t I be satisfied with that?! But what would I even say to him anyways? I have no idea what to do!”

 

Tom listened without saying a word, nodding his head. “Well, do you still want to hurt Orihara-san?” He asked.

 

Shizuo frowned, taking a deep breath after his rant. Looking down at the card, he muttered,”Well.. I did at first. But, he looked just so..  _ scared _ of me, I’ve never seen him with that face before.. Then that girl in the wheelchair and the guy who gave me the card told us about what happened to him.. I can’t attack someone who has been through that.. And- and he want’s to stay away.. I should be happy about that, right? Why don’t I feel satisfied after getting what I’ve wanted for so long?!”

 

“Maybe it’s because that’s not what you want anymore?” Tom suggested idly,”Maybe, now that he’s back and means no harm you could talk to him. It may not be much, but maybe if you talk to him, you could at least figure out what you’re feeling, and see if you want to keep talking to him or not. If Izaya is as different as you said, I’m sure he would understand, and the worst that could happen is that you don’t want to talk to him again, right? It’s like a win-win scenario.”

 

Shizuo listened with wide eyes, taking in everything his senpai said. Turning it over in his brain a few times, the blonde realized that his senpai was right. He nodded, and declared,”Okay.. I’ll try and talk to him eventually.. I guess a bit of closure would be nice.”

 

Tom nodded, and finished,”Sounds good, and remember to at least try. You have time, after all, it’s not like you have to see him anytime soon- _ Oof! _ ”

 

The brown haired man stumbled back in surprise, not expecting the crowd of excited people in front of him. Shizuo stopped just in time, and used his large height to look over the chattering crowd. There was a limo in front of one of the buildings that was normally reserved by big companies for parties or presentations.  _ What was everyone excited about? _ He wondered. _ Is Kasuka doing a film? He didn’t tell me about it.. _

 

But as the black, sleek limo opened up, and out popped some very familiar faces. First, it was a young man with honey colored, shoulder length blonde hair, purple eyes, wearing a black turtleneck and some white skinny jeans. He was helping out a young woman with long black hair, who was holding two little bundles, and moved her to a wheelchair. She was wearing red glasses, and a dress with jellyfish styles all over it.  _ Oh.. It’s that fashion designer, and the… What did Erika call her? A mangaka.  _

 

Then, Shizuo’s heart froze up.  _ Wait.. If they’re here… Then that means… _ He turned to the limo, watching the familiar dog hop out, wearing her service vest. Following her was the very person who had been on his mind, it was Izaya. He was wearing a black tank top, with a pink sweater that hung off his shoulders with a white exclamation point in the middle over it, and white skinny jeans. His pale white hair was brushed to the side, his red eyes looking around them.

 

It was weird seeing the flea wearing something other than that god awful fur jacket, but at the same time, he looked… Really cute in that outfit..  _ Wait, shut up! Shizuo, stop thinking like that! _ He shook his head, blonde hair flowing with his violent attempts to snap out of those thoughts.

 

When his brown eyes looked back up, he took in a sudden breath. Izaya was staring right at him. His eyes flicked around, trying to see if he could possibly be looking at anyone else, but he saw no one. Looking back over, he saw the dove still staring at him. He looked nervous, but curious at the same time. Shizuo’s cheeks felt like they were heating up, as he raised a hand and waved slightly.

 

Izaya ducked his head slightly, his pale cheeks tinting pink. He then raised his hand and waved back, before quickly following after his friends. Shizuo watched him go, wondering where his old hatred for the flea had suddenly vanished to. He wasn’t really sure of his feelings anymore, but it wasn’t hate.. 

 

Was Tom right? Could they become friends? Shizuo wasn’t really sure in that moment, but he hoped he would be able to figure it out soon. 

 

Tom’s grunt caused him to look over, as his senpai said,”Let’s go around the crowd, we still have a few clients to meet.”

 

“Yeah..” Shizuo quietly, and began to follow after the shorter man, but not before looking back several times.

 

\-- -- -- -- -- --

 

Izaya wasn’t really sure what to think about Shizuo either. One one hand, he wanted to prove to Shizuo he had changed, but he feared the blonde at the same time. Watching the enforcer walk away, he decided it would be simpler to just wait and see. Seeking out Shizuo might make him suspicious of foul play that Izaya wasn’t trying to pull.

 

He turned and followed after Ayase and Tsukimi, going inside of the building in front of them. Today was a meeting about their next fundraiser party, and they were having it at the building they planned to host it at. Sure, it wasn’t exactly how he wanted to spend his day after nearly having a couch thrown at him, but things could always be worse.

 

“I can’t wait for this meeting to be over, then we can take Karla and Kuranosuke to get some souvenirs! I’m so excited to have family time!” Ayase exclaimed while facing Izaya, sounding more like a mother than a father. The twins, who were in their mother’s arms, grew excited at his tone, and Izaya could tell by their mouth movements they were simply babbling random nonsense.

 

Izaya smiled wearily, and replied, _ ”Well, you guys can have fun with that, I’m going to stay at the hotel and take a nice, long nap and maybe paint something. I don’t feel like doing much of anything today.” _

 

_ “I don’t blame you,”  _ Tsukimi signed with one hand, before turning her head towards him. “You get as much rest as you need after this. Don’t worry, we’ll make sure to get you some traits or candy from a stand.”

 

“Oh I don’t think we’ll have to do that, honey,” Ayase suddenly said, looking at Izaya mischievously,”I saw Izaya already looking at some eye candy today, weren’t you?” The honey blonde then wiggled his eyebrows.

 

Izaya took a moment to register what Ayase was saying.  _ “Wait, are you talking about Shizuo?” _ He asked, gaining a nod in return. Izaya felt his face heat up, and he quickly shook his head.  _ “No way, Shizuo hates me.” _

 

“Not from the way I saw him looking,” The fashion designer replied,”He totally has the hots for you, he looked at you like I look at Tsukimi.”

 

Tsukimi then took that moment to interject. _ “Like an attention seeking puppy?” _ She teasingly asked, causing Ayase to let out a gasp of horror. 

 

Izaya let a smile crawl up his face, amused by his friend’s behavior as always. They always found a way to help him get in a good mood, and he needed that before this boring meeting began. 

 

They reached the chosen room early, but Izaya didn’t mind, that gave them time to prepare what they planned to say to the company heads who were wanting to partner with them. He felt excitement, hoping this meeting would go well. Pushing the door open, his attentive eyes instantly examined the room. A bright color in the room instantly caught his attention, and Izaya felt his heart freeze in terror.

 

It was Susumu.

 

Izaya felt his weak heart speed up in fear all over again. The dove stumbled back, as his two friends rounded the corner as well. Though Izaya couldn't hear it, Tsukimi let out a shocked gasp, while Ayase growled out,”What the fuck are  _ you _ doing here?!”

 

Protectively, Ayase’s hand grabbed Izaya’s shoulder, moving the raven behind him. Susumu’s face portrayed sadness, but his eyes told otherwise. To Ayase’s question, he replied,”Did you forget that I’m a member of this foundation too?”

 

He was right, as much as it hurt to say. In the panic and stress of heading to Ikebukuro, they had forgotten to kick Susumu out of KFA.. “That doesn’t mean anything!” Ayase snarled,”I want you out of this room now, you’re not a member of KFA!”   
  


“You know it doesn’t work like that, Ayase-kun,” Susumu purred back. Through his fear, Izaya noticed Ayase’s trembling body. His fists clenched, and he took a step forward quickly. 

 

Realizing that Ayase was about to attack the blonde, Izaya tried to let out a panicked noise, lunging forward, and wrapping his arms around Ayase’s waist tightly, desperately trying to keep him in place. 

 

Right at that moment, Ayase and Tsukimi heard the footsteps behind them. The company heads arrived, and entered the room. They didn’t see anything, thank god. Instantly, Susumu’s face morphed into a grin as Izaya unlatched himself from the man’s torso.

 

“A- Um.. Hello everyone, I’m glad you could make it!” Ayase said, said quickly. Most of the company heads nodded in return, a few giving their thanks for being invited. Then, everyone was seated, his friends making sure Izaya was between them. But the tension in the room seemed to flow around them thicker than cement.

 

Izaya’s head was pounding, his hands were shaking in his lap, and he couldn’t seem to pay attention to the meeting. It didn’t help that every time he looked up, those chocolate brown were staring straight at him, seeming to bore into his entire soul. Izaya desperately wished he could scream at him.  _ Why are you here?! What do you want?! Why can’t you just leave me alone?! _   
  


Near the end of the meeting, Izaya was desperate to escape the room, but he still couldn’t. Many of the people at the meeting wanted to talk to him about deals or art projects, which he was totally fine with, it was just the feeling of Susumu’s burning stare in his back.

 

Finally, he was able to escape to the hallway, leaving Ai behind without realizing it. Ayase and Tsukimi were still talking, finishing up things. But he didn’t think anything of it, he would just get to the car and wait for them there.

 

A hand suddenly grabbed his wrist, yanking him back. Izaya wasn’t expecting that, and stumbled backwards, before being pushed into the wall. His wide red eyes turned up in shock, staring at Susumu in terror. The man’s hands were now on his shoulders, keeping him on the wall, his eyes filled with what seemed like remorse.

 

“Izzy,” He then said,”Please, you have to forgive me. I’m, sorry, I really am, I didn’t mean to do any of it. Please, believe me, I still love you. Give me another chance!”

 

The dove was no match for Susumu’s strength, especially after what happened, but he desperately struggled, shaking his head. Susumu seemed to grow frustrated by his refusal, and frowned. “You don’t understand, you’re not listening, I’ll have to prove it to you!” He declared.

 

He leaned forward, his lips connecting to Izaya’s forcefully. It was much different from the kisses they used to share. It was painful and bruising. The artist’s eyes widened, his surprised reaction giving Susumu the chance to invade his mouth further with his tongue. In a moment of panic, Izaya bit down as hard as he could.

 

Susumu jerked away suddenly, though his hands remained. Izaya desperately clawed at the man’s arms, trying to escape his grasp. But the ice skater was even angrier than before, as his fist connected with Izaya’s cheek. All the air escaped Izaya as he crashed to the ground, hitting hard. Taking in several deep breaths, he curled as tightly as he could into a ball, tears tumbling from his cheeks.

 

For a few seconds, nothing happened, then hands grabbed him again. Izaya let out a frantic cry, struggling violently for several moments. Then he felt himself be pressed to a chest, arms wrapping around him gently. After a few frantic, tensed moments, Izaya realized that it wasn’t Susumu anymore.

 

Opening his eyes, he saw panicked purple eyes instead of angry brown. Ayase was talking, but Izaya’s mind was too wound up to read his lips. Instead, he frantically signed ‘We Leave’ and ‘Please’ constantly.

 

Ayase looked over at Tsukimi, and nodded quickly. He took Karla in his arm, his other hand grabbing Izaya’s own, and leading him outside of the building. Thankfully, the crowd was gone, but it didn’t help Izaya’s nerves at all. Tsukimi quickly rolled out after them, holding Kuranosuke. Both of them looked extremely nervous as well. Tsukimi moved in front of Izaya, and used her free hand to ask _ ,”Did Susumu do this?” _

 

The dove stared at her hands for a very long amount of time, his hands hugging his stomach, the pain going away, as he slowly nodded. Tsukimi instantly turned her head away, muttering several swears.

 

Turning towards Ayase, she firmly said,”We have to do something about this, I don’t want to leave Izaya alone after that.. What if Susumu figures out what hotel we’re at?”

 

“You’re right, we can switch the family day to a… Less stressful day, we’ll stay at the hotel today,” Ayase responded.

 

Izaya’s frantic breathing had finally calmed, his eyes watching his two friends very closely. He caught a few words, and instantly he frowned. Part of him knew they just wanted to help him, but he already felt so much like a burden on them. They deserved to spend time with their kids instead of dealing with him.

 

Izaya moved over, and tugged on Ayase’s sleeve. When they both looked at him, Izaya said, _ ”It’s fine you guys, go and have fun, I’ll be okay.” _

 

_ “Izzy,” _ Ayase instantly replied, _ ”He attacked you again, can you imagine how much worse that could have been if we hadn’t showed up?!” _

 

_ “What if we leave you alone and he comes back? We won’t be able to stop him!”  _ Tsukimi agreed, _ ”Banba is busy, she can’t stay with you, you’d be safer if we stayed!” _

 

_ “I’ll be fine! I’m simply being a burden on you guys anyways!” _ Izaya bristled, _ ”I have Ai anyways, I’ll be fine!” _

 

_ “Your dog doesn’t count!” _ Ayase angrily replied, _ ”Izaya-” _

 

“Umm.. Excuse me?”

 

Ayase and Tsukimi turned towards the voice, while Ai nudged Izaya’s side so he knew where to look at the voice that spoke. Standing in front of them was Shinra and Celty, who had witnessed the ending part of the argument.

 

“Um.. Can I help you?’ Ayase asked, obviously irritated. Shinra idly wondered just what in the world they were arguing about, but he was afraid of what may happen.

 

His hand went to the back of his neck, as he replied,”Oh! I’m sorry to interrupt, I’m sure you don’t remember me.. I’m Kishitani Shinra, Orihara-kun’s friend. I was the one that treated his injuries last night, I was just wanting to say hi.”

 

“Oh! I remember you now!” The black haired girl exclaimed,”Sorry about the way we acted last night, it was a very stressful day. Today’s not much better though…”

 

Shinra wondered what she meant by that, but instead turned his head towards his friend. “Hey Orihara-kun, how have you been?” He asked, speaking a little slower than he normally would. Next to him, Celty gave a small wave to acknowledge him.

 

Izaya looked at Shinra’s lips, taking in his words, before giving him a small thumbs up. His face looked pained, but he still looked pleased to see him. Shirna smiled, glad Izaya was attempting to communicate with him. Then, he quickly continued.

 

“So.. Um.. If you’re not busy, me and Celty were going to get some Russia Sushi together, would you like to come with us and maybe… I dunno… We could catch up?” He asked nervously.

 

Surprisingly, he watched a bright smile climb up Izaya’s face as soon as he understood what Shinra said. Turning to Ayase and Tsukimi, they exchanged several signs until the fashion designer finally released a loud sigh. “Fiiiiiine, you can go,” He responded, making Izaya grin again. 

 

Signing with his hands again, Ayase and Tsukimi both left to the limo after giving goodbyes. Izaya quickly grabbed Ai’s leash, trotting over to them, and nodding. Shinra was slightly surprised, but sent a large grin back, and said,”Alright, let’s go!”

 

And so they were off. The walk there was silent, but Shinra didn’t mind. He watched Izaya, how he acted. The soft smile on his face was something even Shinra had never been privy to, innocent and gentle. His eyes looked around, but they were not examining simply the people around them, those red orbs were looking at the world, taking in as much as they could. All this, coupled with the dog trotting at his heels, it was an Izaya that Shinra had never known.

 

But now, his friend was back.

 

And Shinra couldn’t wait to get to know him once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed!
> 
> Please leave comments and/or kudos, they give me life!
> 
> I have to crash, break is over, I need as much sleep as possible if I want to survive tomorrow ;-;


	9. Old and New Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Izaya spends some time with old friends, and makes a new one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I know I said they were using JSL but I'm struggling to find any info on it so all the sign will be ASL, because I'm actually learning ASL.

The trio soon found themselves inside of the familiar sushi restaurant, sitting on the soft pillows. Their environment was so peaceful, yet Shinra found that he had never felt so tormented in all his life.

Across the table sat the raven he used to know. But now he was a stranger, those black feathers had molted into the pristine white ones he saw now. The Izaya of the past but a fleeting whisper, and Shinra was left with so many things he wanted. He wanted to ask questions, tell Izaya about his life since the dove had vanished. But where did he start? What could he possibly say?

His brown eyes watched the dove, who was holding his gaze as one pale hand ran through his dog’s fur. Those red eyes no longer displayed that evil, sadistic glee that they used to. Now, they were open to the world, and filled with nervous curiosity.

After a few more moment of the awkward silence, the underground doctor was finally able to work past the know in his throat. “S-so.. Thanks for coming with us, Orihara-kun!” He exclaimed, before lowering his head,”I.. I really missed you.”

Izaya’s red eyes watched his lips closely, before a gentle smile climbed up his lips. He pointed a finger to himself, and then held up two fingers. Me too. Shinra realized, and a grin climbed up his face.

The dove then looked at Celty, and then pulled out his cell phone. He typed on it for a while, making Shinra worry that he was ignoring them. But then, he held out the phone for Shinra. It was on notes, with a simple question. **[How was the wedding?]**

Celty’s hands instantly went to her chest, while a blush climbed up Shina’s face. “Oh! It was amazing! Celty looked so beautiful in her dress, and the vows she wrote were so beautiful! She compared us to the light and the dark; so different, and yet never apart. I wish you could have been there!” He then lowered his excited tone, and mentioned,”You would have been my best man.”

Izaya looked shocked, as if he hadn’t been expecting that. Then, he lowered his red eyes, which filled with guilt. Shinra’s own brown orbs widened, quickly trying to cheer up his friend. Then, he remembered just the thing. Izaya took a sip of his drink, his eyes remained on Shinra when he saw his mouth open.

“You know, Izaya, Shizuo cried,” Shinra said, causing the raven to choke on his drink. He pulled away his cup, eyes wide with surprise.

 **[He did?!]** Izaya asked. **[How the hell did you manage that?]**

Celty was now laughing as well, while Shinra recounted the tale. “Well, after me and Celty finished our vows… While everyone was clapping, I looked over and Shizuo had tears just tumbling down his cheeks! He was crying so hard! Then he tried to blame it on a pollen allergy!”

Izaya started to giggle softly as the story went on, and it made Shinra pause in surprise. It was different than the laugh he remembered. It was soft, angelic, and held no malice. A smile climbed up the underground doctor’s face. I’m glad I can see this side of you, Izaya.

Before anyone could say anything else, a large form appeared in the doorway of their tatami room. The three looked over, finding Simon staring down with a smile on his face.

“Ah! Quiet is back!” He exclaimed, turning his dark eyes over to Shinra. “You know, Quiet, Shinra?”

The doctor tilted his head in confusion, looking over at the dove. His best friend suddenly seemed rather guilty, and Shinra looked between them. “You don’t…” He stuttered,”He… You didn’t tell him?”

“Tell me what?” Simon asked innocently.

Shinra looked at izaya once more, and after a moment of silence he saw a nod. “Simon,”  He began,”This is Izaya…. He’s come back.”  


The smile on Simon’s face faded, eyes widening in shock. The plates he had been holding fell from his hands. Izaya jumped to his feet, his hands frantically moving for several moments before forming a shaky fist with his right hand, and began rotating it in a circle on his chest clockwise.

Simon simply stared for a long, pregnant pause. Then, his hands flew forward, wrapping tightly around Izaya, and lifting the smaller man into a hug. The dove squealed in surprise, being lifted completely off the ground. He squirmed for a moment, before feeling something wet on his head. _Simon was crying?_ Feeling incredibly guilty, the deaf artist relaxed in the strong man’s hold.

An eternity passed before the russian placed Izaya down, keeping his hands on his shoulder. “I… I never knew where you went..” The man whispered,”Why didn’t you tell me?”

The guilt in Izaya’s eyes grew even bigger. His right index finger pointed to his chest, and then brought them his hands out facing palm down, bringing his right index finger sharply down over his left index finger. He then took his right index finger and placed on his cheek- near his ear -and then brought it to the edge of his lip.

Simon looked rather confused, but Celty realized what he was trying to say. Quickly, she pushed her PDA towards the man. **[Izaya wanted to, but he’s deaf. It would be hard to tell the story]** She explained, before turning the PDA to the dove. **[Right, Izaya?]**

Izaya’s shoulders slumped in relief, and he nodded. He brought his fist up again, making the same rotation on his chest again. Simon’s confusion melted away, and an understanding smile climbed up his face.

He moved forward, hugging the dove gently once more. Pulling away again, he replied,”it is okay, Izaya. I’m just happy to finally see you again.”

Shinra shifted a little, and raised his hand. “If Izaya is okay with it, I could tell you what he told us, since he explained where he’d been,” He offered, turning to the dove. “As long as you’re okay with it, of course.”

Izaya grew extremely thankful, and nodded happily. Simon grew excited, scooting to sit with them. Seeing the eager look on Simon’s face, Shinra couldn’t help but launch into the tale. The dove watched Shinra speak, his exaggerated movements and excited face brought back happy memories.

With every passing moment, he felt more and more sure that coming back to Ikebukuro was the right decision.

\-- -- -- -- -- --

About a half hour and several plates of fatty tuna later, the group was leaving Russia Sushi feeling quite full. Simon followed them out, tapping Izaya’s shoulder. When the dove turned around, Simon managed to push a bag of sushi into the dove’s arms. Izaya gave another blinding smile, and placed his fingers on his chin and then extended his flat hand palm forward.

Simon smiled back. Although he didn’t understand the sign, he could guess what the dove was trying to say. “Promise you’ll visit as much as possible, okay?” Simon slowly asked.

Izaya nodded in return, waving goodbye to the Russian before quickly catching up to his three companions. They walked down the streets for a while, Shinra just calmly chatting away and making sure Izaya could see his lips.

Unfortunately, Shinra’s phone rang during their walk. He looked at the text, and grew a sad frown on his face. He turned to his best friend and his wife, and declared,”I have to go to work, I’m needed. Sorry, Izzy.”

Izaya was a little saddened by this fact, but he could guess who was the one calling him. _And I know for a fact that Shiki won’t like to be kept waiting._

The dove nodded toward Shinra, and Celty replied **[It’s okay, go ahead. We’ll see you later.]**

Shinra left, and the two others continued on their way. Celty took the lead, and led the deaf man to Nishiguchi Park. They sat near the fountain, with Ai laying down at the dove’s feet.

For a few moments, they said nothing. The dove simply looked around, taking in the sights he never thought he would see again. The fountain, all the people wandering around. Before, he might have taken time to observe the humans, but that just wasn’t interesting anymore. In fact, he was much more interested in how much of a good landscape painting the park could make.

Celty’s PDA suddenly appeared in his vision, and he jumped a bit in surprise. When his heart calmed down, he looked back down at the message. **[What’s it like being deaf?]**

Izaya frowned thoughtfully, taking a few moments to ponder, before he replied. **[It’s hard to explain… It’s like being isolated, even though I’m the same as everyone else. Sometimes people think I’m dumber because I can’t hear. Sometimes I think I might be, but then I remember that in every other aspect, I’m exactly the same.]**

Celty read his response, and leaned back a bit. She seemed to be thinking something over very hard. Suddenly, she speedily typed out a message, and shoved it into the dove’s face.

**[Can you teach me sign language?]**

Izaya was shocked, and turned to face her. He pulled out his own phone, and quickly asked. **[Seriously?]**

Celty tilted her head, a little confused. **[Is it really that much of a surprise?]** She questioned.

Izaya nodded quickly. **[Well, yeah. Hearing people don’t really take the time to try and learn sign. I only know four people who do. To know that someone else wants to makes me very happy.]**

Celty looked up from the message, and could instantly see the truth in his words. The smile was almost blinding, and his red eyes were bright with excitement. This only made Celty’s resolve grow.

The Dullahan moved forward, placing a hand over Izaya’s comfortingly. The dove felt his body fill with happiness. He would never have expected to become friends with Celty if he returned to Ikebukuro, but it was actually happening, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

\-- -- -- -- -- --

Shinra cringed at the severe wounds in front of him, and found himself thankful that Shiki always had extra supplies set aside for him. Several of the burly men were sporting harsh third degree burns, and thankfully they were all unconscious.

He quickly began work on removing the dead skin and tissue, while Shiki stood by and watched. He could feel the man’s dark eyes on his back, but he wasn’t bothered by it much. Shiki cared for his men, and would often stay behind to make sure they were being cared for properly.

What he wasn’t prepared for were the questions.

“So, Izaya is back?” His rough voice questioned. Shinra completely froze, hands coming to a stop as well. After a moment of silence, he quickly began cleaning wounds again. He didn’t dare try and lie to Shiki, he knew that the only reason his boss would ask a question like that would be because he already knew the truth.

With a hesitant nod, Shinra slowly said,”Um… Y-yes he is. He got back two days ago.”

Shiki made a thoughtful noise. “I see…” He replied,”I’ll have to talk to him. I’m quite interested in why he decided to skip town like that.”

Shinra had no clue if those words were a threat or not, but panic still bolted through him. He whipped around, and exclaimed,”Shiki! Please don’t be hard on Izaya! He didn’t leave for no reason!”

Shiki didn’t look angered by the brunette’s words, merely surprised. “Then what was his reason?” He asked.

Shinra debated on whether he should say anything or not, but he knew Shiki would discover it either way. So, he turned back to his patients as he responded,”He got sick, really sick. He was in the hospital for most of the first year. He almost died from it, and went deaf because of it. He left to make the most of his life after thinking he was going to die for so long.”

“And then he became Delic,” Shiki supplied helpfully, making Shinra tense up again. He turned his head towards the dark haired man curiously.

“You knew already?” The underground doctor asked.

Shiki looked almost insulted. “Seriously, Shinra, you think I wouldn’t keep an eye on my best informant broker? I know about everything,” He declared,”I never stopped him because I knew he wouldn’t be as useful in his condition… And that he deserved to be free after what he went through.”

Shinra released a huge sigh of relief. “However,” Shiki continued,”I would still be interested in talking to him again. It has been almost six years, after all.”

The underground doctor made an affirmative noise. “I’ll tell him you said so,” He replied, beginning to rub medicine onto the burns. Maybe it was just the medicine, but Shinra also could feel cold relief flowing through his whole body. Izaya was safe, and his nerves were calm again.

He got back to work, and idly wondered how the hell he was going to explain this to Izaya.

\-- -- -- -- -- --

“No no, the whole point is that he _doesn’t_ have a quirk.”

“But what if he did?”

Kadota held in an annoyed groan, listening to the two argue over another anime. Saburo rolled his eyes, agreeing with the beanie wearing man. They wandered through the city, holding several different types of manga and DVDs in their arms.

 _I don’t even know how they managed to rope us into doing this..._ He thought in slight annoyance. But, they had been pulling him into their antics for years now. It was more endearing than anything.

As usual, he managed to tune out their chatter, focusing on getting back to his van. As they walked, however the man noticed two familiar figures nearby. It was Celty and Izaya, who were both doing what looked like signing. Izaya would make a gesture, Celty would repeat it, and then they would show each other their phones.

“Oh… Is that Izaya?” Saburo asked curiously,”I wondered if he would still be here or not. I probably would have skipped town the second that Shizuo picked up that damn couch.”

Kadota released a snort of amusement. “Izaya has had worse thrown at him, if I remember correctly,” He pointed out.

Saburo rolled his eyes at his friend. “I believe you could call that the understatement of the goddamn century,” He teased, brown eyes filled with humor.

The constant chatter behind them had suddenly stopped, and he heard a curious noise come from behind him. “Oh! It’s Izzy!” Erika exclaimed,”Dota-chin! We should go say hi!”

Before Kadota could object to his nickname or Erika’s plan, the woman already took off. She jumped onto the seat next to the two mutes, causing Izaya to jump in surprise once more. His red eyes looked over at Erika curiously, and then back towards where she came from. When he saw Kadota nearby, he gave a wave.

Kadota smiled, giving a hesitant wave back. He then wandered over to the three, and said,”How have you been, Izaya?”

Izaya didn’t respond right away. Instead, he looked mischievously over at Celty, and then began signing. He placed the right hand’s fingers on his chin, before bringing it down into his left hand with both hands facing upward. He then pointed at himself, and then placed it on his chin. He then brought his hands in front of him, placing them together like a rooftop, then pulling them apart slightly, and then placed them back together.

After finishing his signing, he looked at Celty expectantly. The Dullahan was thoughtful for a long moment, and then typed on her phone. **[He said… Good, and that he misses the city?]** She said, hesitantly showing it to the dove.

Izaya instantly grinned, and gave Celty a thumbs up. The woman reacted excitedly, clapping her hands together and looking back over to Kadota. The man frowned curiously, before realization passed through him. “Oh!” He said,”You’re teaching Celty to sign?”

The dove nodded, and picked up his own phone. **[Yes I am!]** He responded, and Kadota could see the bright excitement in his eyes. It was a little surprising, as Kadota had never seen Izaya so… Innocently happy.

 **[It’s so much easier than typing everything out, Kadota! Izaya even gave me a sign name!]** She said excitedly, before placing down her phone and bringing her hands up once more.

“Sign name?” Erika and Walker asked in unison.

 **[A sign name is like a nickname, so you don’t have to spell out people’s name every time you talk to them. Izaya’s is this]** She then held up her fist, and slowly lowered it down while bringing her pinky finger up. **[It’s the letter I and the sign for strength. And this is mine]**

She then placed her hand in an C-like sign facing her chest, before moving to face Kadota and rest against her heart. **[It’s the sign for C and Loyal mixed together!]** She said, and Kadota could practically see her preen with pride.

Erika let out an excited squeal, and grabbed Izaya’s hand. “I want a sign name!” She exclaimed,”Can you give me one, Iza-Iza?”

Izaya nodded, and placed his hands on his chin for a long few seconds. Then, he snapped his fingers, and turned to Erika. He held his hand up with fingers curled down halfway and thumb resting on his palm, and then spun it in a circle.

Erika stared, dumbfounded, and then softly questioned,”What does that mean?”

 **[His hand was in the shape of an E, and the sign for happy!]** Celty explained. Erika let out an excited squeal once more, nd jumped to her feet, twirling around.

“Aww! I love it! Thank you, Izaya-kun!” She squealed, finishing her twirl and then throwing her arms around the dove, hugging him tightly. She then lifted Izaya up, twirling with him. He squeaked in surprise, but Erika merely giggled. “Jeez, you _are_ light!”

She put the man down, and grabbed his hand. “You know, Izaya, you should hang out with us! It’d be fun!” She exclaimed excitedly.

The dove looked slightly surprised by her words, and turned to look at Kadota for confirmation. Kadota gave a reassuring smile in return. “It’d be nice to catch up, Izaya,” He said in response.

Izaya smiled in return, and nodded. **[I’d love to! But right now, I’m hanging out with Celty, and it’s getting pretty late. Maybe tomorrow?]**

Kadota nodded, and said,”Tomorrow sounds good. We’ll see you then, Izaya.”

The group left, and Izaya turned back to Celty. “ _I should head home, Ayase and Tsukimi are probably worried._ ” He told Celty. “ _I had fun, though. Thank you._ ”

“I had fun too,” Celty responded. “And…. Thank you for letting us meet this side of you. I’m glad I can be your friend.”

They departed soon after, and Izaya wasn’t ashamed at all about the huge grin that covered his face the whole way back.

\-- -- -- -- -- --

When Celty returned to the apartment, she was not as surprised as she used to be at the sight of Tom and Shizuo sitting at her table. Tom was holding an ice pack against his head, with a rather exasperated look on his face, and Shizuo was wincing as Shinra dabbed what looked like alcohol covered cotton ball against the man’s chest.

 **[What happened?]** She asked Tom, pulling out her own chair to join the party.

Tom huffed, and pointing a thumb toward the blonde. “This genius decided it’d be a good idea to beat up a gang member who got in his way. We got jumped not even an hour later.” He explained in an exhausted tone.

“Oi, I beat them all, didn’t I?” Shizuo growled as Shinra began wrapping the wound with bandages.

“That’s not remotely the point, Shizuo!” Tom snapped,”I know you’ve been pent up all day, but there was a way we could have not gotten jumped at all!”

Shizuo let out a loud growl, slamming his fist down and leaving a dent in the poor, innocent table. “I know, senpai! I just… Ugh! That stupid flea won’t get out of my head! I wish he’d just disappear again so these feelings would go away!”

“Feelings?”

**[Feelings?]**

The blonde’s eyes widened, and he quickly looked away with a red blush. “It’s not what you think! I just… I thought that if I ever saw him again, I’d finally kill him. But after hearing that story… I don’t know anymore.”

The four adults were silent for several minutes, as the tension in the room grew thick enough to nearly suffocate those underneath it. Finally, Shinra hesitantly spoke up. “You know, you could just talk to him about it.”

Shizuo gave Shinra a incredulous look, and the underground doctor quickly continued,”We spent some time with him today! He’s a lot different than you remember, Shizuo. I think it might actually help both of you.”

 **[I agree]** Celty continued. **[He was teaching me how to sign, and it was a lot of fun! Maybe that could be a conversation starter?]**

“Oh, that sounds like a great idea! Hey Izaya, I know I just tried to throw a couch at you two days ago, wanna be friends?” Shizuo sarcastically questioned.

Celty was not amused, and crossed her arms, tapping her foot. The blonde sighed, and muttered,”I’m sorry, Celty. I just never expected to see him again. I’ll try, I promise.”

 **[Good.]** Celty responded. **[And remember, he’s my friend now too. If you hurt him, I’ll hurt you.]**

Shizuo didn’t doubt her threats, as she always delivered on them before. He merely nodded, and then allowed himself to fall back into deep thought. Maybe a conversation with them would go okay… After all, neither of them had malintentions towards each other anymore.

Yeah, yeah he could do this. But after the stunt he pulled, Izaya probably wouldn’t be very enthusiastic about seeing him. He needed a conversation starter.

_Wait a minute… Don’t I still have his jacket?_

\-- -- -- -- -- -- --

Izaya and Ai returned to see the hotel room still lit up, holding an exhausted looking Ayase and Tsukimi. In their arms lay the fussy babies, who were somehow still awake.

Ayase’s tired eyes looked up towards him, and he declared,”We met with the officials again and explained the situation. It turns out that Susumu wasn’t even supposed to be there, but somehow snuck past security. We’ve contacted a different company to make sure Susumu won’t be allowed anywhere near the fundraiser.”

Izaya felt his whole body fill with relief, and replied,” _Thank you so so much. It means a lot to me._ ”

“Of course we do,” Tsukimi replied,”If I ever see that French bastard again, _he’ll_ be the one needing wheelchair.”

The dove chuckled, moving farther into the living room. “ _You guys deserve some rest. I’ll put the twins down, you go to sleep._ ”

“Are you sure?” Ayase worriedly questioned.

“ _I’m positive_ ,” Izaya firmly responded,” _After all, I am their godfather._ ”

The couple thanked him profusely, and headed off the sleep. Izaya then turned off the lights, hoping the darkness would help the babies grow tired. The dove gently rocked Karla and Kuranosuke, attempting to calm the two children down. To his surprise, they were a lot less fussy now that he was with them. Maybe they had been worried because he was gone?

Slowly, he watched their little eyes fall closed, and he found himself growing tired as well. He put the children into their cribs, and then decided it was time for him to go to sleep as well.

He climbed into his empty bed, quickly followed by Ai. The goldendoodle hopped onto the bed, shoving her way underneath Izaya’s arm and curling up close to her owner. The dove smiled, and pulled her closer.

Despite the incident earlier in the day, Izaya found himself feeling rather happy with how it all turned out. In fact, he was actually looking forward to hanging out with Kadota.

_Maybe staying in Ikebukuro for a while won’t be as bad as I thought it would be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Izaya spends time with Kadota, and a certain blonde finally gathers enough courage.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy I hope you did, I've been wanting to write one of these for the longest time. I have another Durarara!! Story that will be dropping in the next few weeks.
> 
> Change of Heart will be updated as soon as possible! But I hope you all like this story too! Please leave love, and not hate down below!
> 
> Thank you for reading, my lovelies!


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